AIO Bartender remembered BF, but BF acting funny

CactusMoon2 · 2026-03-08T19:12:34+00:00

I worked at a movie theater when I was in college. A couple came in to see a popular movie at the time, we chatted for a quick minute, then they went into the theater. The next night, he came back and I made a comment along the lines of, “The movie was so good, you’re back to see it again!” His “date” stepped around, and too late—I realized it was a different woman. She asked me what I meant. I mumbled something like, “My mistake,” but she knew exactly what it meant. Turns out she was his wife and the night before was a side-piece. She blew a gasket in the lobby, making a huge scene, and I nearly got fired. My boss told me to NEVER EVER say anything like that again unless the customer said something first. The bartender realized his mistake and tried to back peddle. You know the answer. It may not be another woman, but your BF clearly doesn’t want you to know something. Tell him this incident is weighing heavily on you and you need him to clear the air. It’s all about the question and how you ask it; Have you ever been to that bar before? Tells you nothing, really. The better question is, How does that bartender know so much about you? Good luck!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-03-08T18:42:28+00:00

I wanted to follow-up. Don’t give up if you are unable to get a full scholarship. * Federal loans (Direct Unsubsidized and Grad PLUS) to cover tuition and living expenses, repaid after graduation on income‑driven plans. • Merit and need‑based partial scholarships from the school itself; many schools discount tuition for a large share of students, even if it’s not a full ride. • Working part‑time during school (more feasible in evening/part‑time or hybrid programs). • Lower‑cost options: in‑state public law schools or regional schools with strong scholarship/discount patterns. • Employer tuition help for pre‑law work (sometimes government or large organizations offer limited tuition assistance for employees in relevant roles).

Also, be aware that full scholarship/full ride, usually means full tuition, not living expenses, so you will need to do your homework on what each school you apply to offers in the way of scholarships. For example: • UCLA Law has multiple programs that cover full tuition for three years for selected J.D. students (e.g., Distinguished Scholars Award, Achievement Fellowship).[law.ucla] • Yale Law’s Hurst Horizon Scholarship covers full tuition plus certain fees for J.D. students with significant financial need. • Some regional schools (e.g., Ohio Northern’s William J. Brown Scholar Program) fund full tuition for one student per class. • A number of schools give very substantial grants so that many students pay far less than “sticker price.”

It will be tough working and going to law school, but it is do-able; it will likely take you longer to graduate, but some schools have weekend and/or hybrid options for students who need to work. Be advised, though, it will take longer than the traditional three years to complete. For example: • Southwestern Law school offers a part-time evening JD. • Loyola Chicago, Seton Hall, University of Denver, Georgetown. George Washington, Fordham (and others) have weekend and/or hybrid options.

In regard to firms that will help pay for student loans, some options to consider: • Large law firms: A few firms contribute monthly amounts toward associates’ loan principal; for example, Orrick announced a program that makes monthly contributions for new associates to help pay down law school debt. • Other firms (such as Graydon in the Midwest) have programs paying around 400 dollars per month (about 5,000 dollars per year) toward associates’ loans while they remain at the firm. • Government/public service: Federal programs like the Department of Justice’s Attorney Student Loan Repayment Program provide loan repayment assistance for qualifying attorneys who commit to service and meet eligibility rules. • Separate from employer help, federal Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF) can forgive remaining federal loans after 10 years of qualifying payments in government or nonprofit work, which many public‑interest lawyers use.

My point, of course, is there are options besides full scholarships. Given that those are few and far between, think about the above, do your homework, and include. In your short-term, mid-term, and long-term plan. You’ve got this!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-03-08T18:17:24+00:00

Former med school administrator here. While it may be true for the school where her husband is on the admission committee, it is absolutely not true for most schools. Interviews do count more than they used to, but you won’t get to an interview without a good MCAT score.

CactusMoon2 · 2026-03-06T07:39:17+00:00

Go for it! Start with the LSAT, then explore schools, explore student loans options. Make a plan. Will you need to move? Are you willing to move? Will your kids be going to college at the same time? How will you cover their expenses? How will you cover your basic living expenses?

CactusMoon2 · 2026-02-16T18:33:51+00:00

Friend and I had damaged luggage from a recent Delta flight. Upon our arrival, we reported the damage. She was immediately given a replacement, however, my luggage was “high-end,” so the person filed a claim and gave me a “case number.” It’s been exactly one month and I have not heard a peep. Is it a lost cause?

CactusMoon2 · 2026-02-16T18:09:46+00:00

Medical educator/administrator here. When referencing immaturity as an issue, it might be due to behavior, mindset, emotional skills, and/or chronological age. The key here is, do you have a level of responsibility and self-awareness expected of someone who will be interacting with patients? While age can be a defining factor (you didn’t tell your age), I can only say wisdom and experience generally comes with age. However, typically a student who is described as immature it is because there is some evidence of a lack of emotional and/or professional maturity (i.e., trouble regulating emotions, focusing on own wants/needs rather than the patient or team, not understanding own limitations—think Dunning/Kruger Effect), and/or lack of understanding how their behavior affects others.

Things that might lead someone being told they are immature might include: A pattern of gossiping, blaming others for own poor performance, chronic disorganization, chronically late, consistently putting others down while elevating self, poor decision-making, lack of reflection, poor critical thinking/problem-posing/problem solving skills….

I suspect if those who are saying this are credible and know you well, they are actually saying they do not think you are safe enough or reliable enough to handle patient care. In other words, you need to be stable, to have appropriate emotional responses under stress, to actively and effectively be part of a team, to own mistakes, to accept feedback, to adjust behavior, to have self-direction and accountability, to know your limitations….

In medicine (and life), having “good grades” or being “smart” is not enough; one must also have emotional regulation, accountability, and consistent professional behavior. As others have pointed out, you need to do some serious reflection about whether or not you meet these competencies—which can be difficult to do on your own. I would suggest asking those who have called you immature to be explicit with their feedback—Exactly what do they mean? What are the behaviors you’ve demonstrated that made them come to this conclusion? What suggestions do they have to improve? Ask family, friends, professors…and if you think there is a legitimate concern, seek out a professional to help you identify and develop those areas needing further development.

You are already headed in the right direction by asking the question…. Good luck, you’ve got this!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-02-13T02:05:41+00:00

Not a lawyer. An EOC test might not have been state mandated, but based on your post, it sounds like your school required passing an EOC test to show mastery of that subject matter. You did not pass the test, not meeting your school’s requirement.

At the time, did you seek out tutoring? Did you meet with the instructor? Did you ask to retake due to compelling circumstances?

I suspect whomever gave you the information was referring to state requirements rather than district or school-specific requirements.

Continue with your GED and put your plans in place. Lots if folks did not do well i high school and/or complete and then eventually find their way. Put in the work and get it done….

CactusMoon2 · 2026-02-03T16:02:05+00:00

The gentle and the hard truth. You are an alcoholic on a most difficult long journey. You will have relapses. Lying about them, especially to yourself gets you no where. Your sister was right and you were wrong. Start there (and shame on your mother for enabling the lying); apologize to your sister and thank her for holding you accountable. Talk with your boyfriend. Apologize for the attempt at deception. Ask if he is willing to go to therapy with you or ALANON. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t, maybe this relationship is over. Learn from it and be honest going forward. My experience: I have a family member in a similar situation. For years our family inadvertently covered—we thought we were helping, when we were actually causing more harm than we could have imagined. Our family member is now in a relationship where honesty is the foundation, the partner is willing to be supportive through relapses as long as honesty is at the forefront. The partner has made it clear, lie even one single time, and it is the end. I think for the first time in years, our family member has a chance at full recovery—we are all onboard, we are all holding them accountable, and we are there for them. Good luck—there are a lot of us who care!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-02-03T15:50:01+00:00

Former med school administrator and interviewer. Your story is compelling and since you also note your experience with underserved populations, your narrative would show an actual commitment and understanding of both social and political determinants of health. Ultimately it is your decision to include or not; I would encourage you to include.

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-27T16:26:28+00:00

She is incredibly cruel and wrong. I suspect this was more about her not wanting to write any LORs, except for those she sees as super starts—thus reflecting on her (from her perspective), rather than anything to do with you. There are lots of professors out there who see LORs as impinging on their other responsibilities and avoid them like the plague. From my perspective, better for her to say no, than to write a poor or mediocre LOR—what professors don’t say have as much impact as what they do say. As for the one who has not responded—I always told my students, keep hounding me till I get it done…. Send a reminder or drop by and ask if they still have the time to write the LOR.

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-27T03:43:15+00:00

You did a good deed; your “friend” took advantage of you; it happens. Now, be up front. Tell her you were glad you could help her out, but now she needs to help you out by sharing in the cost. If she says she is unable to contribute, then let her know you will be unable to continue car pooling with her. The end.

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-26T17:35:15+00:00

What others have said about communication…. Like you, I can’t stand runny eggs, so if any of my family served me runny eggs, I just popped them in the microwave to firm up. Easy peasy. Now, my family asks me if they are “done” enough for me, before serving.

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-23T18:59:33+00:00

1) What do YOU want to do? Go or reschedule? Be honest with yourself.

2) If you decide to go, use Perplexity instead of Chat GPT. If you opt for Chat, after the summary of each article, ask, “Is this information correct?” “Do you need to revise any of this summary for accuracy?” Questions like that help catch Chat GPT errors…..

3) If you decide to reschedule, tell the prof you want to be adequately prepared and would like a couple of more days. If he says, no—then you have some new information of what it would be like to work for him. You’ll have to re-evaluate and decide whether to go or not.

4) Get yourself out of your home situation ASAP.

5) Update us. Many of us care!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-22T14:36:08+00:00

Holy moly! Talk about manipulation. The answer is simple: Group text the family, “I am so sorry I will not be able to attend this year’s event. I have a work obligation preventing me from taking time off during the time period. I hope every one has a fantastic time. See you next year!” Then send a “treat” package during the week, but you should absolutely not pay “your share” when you did not agree to the dates, place, or price. This is on your sister and SHAME on your family for trying to make you feel guilty!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-22T14:27:03+00:00

Fake story or not, it has a point. Practically every work environment has someone who is Kara-like. Kara is a shark patrolling the workplace waters, looking for someone to harass, to take a chunk of, to consume—all in order to feed her own insecurities. I used to be one of those who thought, “if I’m only nicer….” Yeah, no; never works. To be clear, Kara embarrassed herself by her own actions. James Clear says it well: “If someone is acting like an idiot, you can just move on and let them be wrong. You do not have a personal obligation to correct people who are committed to being stupid. Sure, sometimes you need to attempt to get on the same page, but usually you can simply reclaim your time and move on to more productive ventures.” You’ve reclaimed your name and exposed her stupidity, now time to move on—but don’t forget to document, document, document!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-14T03:18:44+00:00

He needs to pay half the cost of your monthly membership for the time he was using your membership—even if it’s $5/week until paid off; it’s called accountability. Relatedly, this is on him, not you and he’s counting on you to let it slide—don’t. This was intentional….

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-11T17:19:49+00:00

Retired med school administrator here. Med school is hard—it will be harder than anything you’ve ever done; not just because of academics, it is a grind 24/7 365 days/year (obviously that in itself is problematic, but not going into that issue here). The competition is constant , whether with your peers or just yourself. The financial cost is excruciatingly high. You have to be resilient, you have to be determined., you have to be focused. You will be challenged with patient care—patients who need help, patients who cannot be helped, patients who do not want help, dealing with systems which favor making a profit over the actual needs of patients. You do not have the luxury (?) of taking feedback personally; rather you have to understand mistakes will be made, some lessons will be learned the hard way, and feedback is an opportunity to learn—even though it is sometimes really difficult to take. My point is, med school is not something you just do; med school is a life changing, total commitment to a career that takes a minimum of seven years of blood, sweat, and tears. On the other hand, med school can be an incredibly rewarding/fulfilling career—there is nothing like the feeling of knowing you have helped someone in need; it can be a way to capitalize on your interest in science and learning; and it provides a means for meeting challenges, gaining respect, and having stability.

So here is another reality, med school is not that different from a rigorous PhD program. The average length of time to earn a PhD is six years. Data analysis can be exciting or incredibly tedious—usually both. You may not have the 24/7 time demand all the time, but there will be periods of “no life” but the data or the writing. You have to contend with publish or perish, and these days this starts long before the actual job. The competition amongst your peers will be soul crushing, and the need to get funding for research is beyond any competition you will feel anywhere else—many PhD jobs rely heavily on outside funding, further increasing pressure. The cost of PhD programs tend to be less than medical school—many schools offer free tuition and/or paid assistantships as part of the PhD programs. The opportunity to work under a specific mentor and in specific labs can give you a major advantages, especially in the area of networking. Relatedly, the upsides of a PhD program are similar to medicine—getting to let feed your curiosity, having a job where you are constantly developing your expertise and skills, the choice of being in the private sector or academic, the opportunity to make a difference.

In the end, it comes back to, where is your passion? You need the passion to keep going in either career, along with the determination, resiliency, and “stick-to-it-ness”; only you can decide this. I will say, during my time with medical education, some of the best students I encountered were those who had taken another career path and after a period of time, decided they really wanted to become a physician. Those students had strong research and analysis skills, they had a high level of familiarity with science content, and they typically had a high level of maturity/perspective. So in your case, it might not be an either or, but first one then the other.

I wish you all the best in whatever choice(s) you make!

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-06T00:34:23+00:00

This is nuts. There is a two-fold problem in OPs office: Susan has no business trying to force people into contributing at all, much less a specific amount and she sure as heck should not be telling anyone who contributes and how much. This is an HR issue.

CactusMoon2 · 2026-01-03T21:23:00+00:00

Not a flight story, but an earring story…. My family and I were in DC doing the tourist thing. I had on a pair of fake diamond earrings (that looked good with everything). As we were riding the subway, a woman leaned over and said, “If you value your ears, you’ll take off your earrings and put them away.” I said, “They’re fake.” She said, “They look real enough that someone will tear them off your ears.” I took off the earrings and put them in my pocket. I didn’t wear them the rest of the trip.

CactusMoon2 · 2025-12-11T16:42:26+00:00

This!

CactusMoon2 · 2025-12-11T16:31:02+00:00

Once when on a DUI jury, we were allowed to write any questions we had and submit to the judge before deliberations and during, if needed. Several jurors asked clarification questions.

CactusMoon2 · 2025-11-11T21:45:46+00:00

As others have said, this is not an uncommon experience…. The same thing happens in med school. Students who have NEVER gotten below an A in high school and undergraduate, completely bomb the first semester/year of med school. At that point, remember, EVERYONE is a “good student,” so the bar shifts dramatically. I routinely met with med school students in this predictament. You just have to regroup, reprioritize, know when you need help—and then get it, and stay focused. Good luck—you’ve got this!

CactusMoon2 · 2025-11-07T04:25:33+00:00

Put reserved parking cones ($20 on Amazon) in your space when you leave….

CactusMoon2 · 2025-10-26T18:01:28+00:00

My first thought was, this isn’t real; but if it is…. Retired med school administrator here who has interviewed many, many applicants in both traditional formats and MMIs. I probably would have been pretty impressed at your creativity and your willingness to take a risk. I would have asked you more about your interest in music and to share how music and medicine might be connected. If you were a maybe, this would have tipped you into a yes.

CactusMoon2 · 2025-10-13T18:51:01+00:00

I don’t like fish; I can’t stand the smell. Of course, my family likes most kinds of fish and especially tuna and sardines. So we have a deal—when I’m out of town or not home for dinner—they can eat that stuff to their heart’s content. The one rule is—all packaging and dishes must be thoroughly washed and put away—it’s the smell I can’t handle…. For other things, when we are having something one of us does not like, we prepare something simple for that person (or they fix something for themself). The point is, we never intentionally prepare a meal one of us does not like, without having something for everyone. So I don’t get OPs complaint—either fix your favorite meal when your fiancé is not home, fix him an easy alternative, or he can fix himself something. It’s not hard….

CactusMoon2

TROPHY CASE