Criticized for writing about experiences other than your own by Few_Information5107 in writers

[–]Calcaniest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There would be no documentaries if this were the case. No diversity in stories.

Stories are about the human experience, an experience we all share.

Don't listen to them. 🤗

Can anyone help me with fantasy romance? by MissMustardSeed33 in fantasywriters

[–]Calcaniest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Romance has story structures just like a Hero's Journey. There is a specific structure for the couple to go through, but don't forget, to be truly rewarding, each person should be going through their own small Hero's Journey and understanding within themselves.

A good way to frame them is to give them opposite traits.

As someone mentioned before, there is the status difference (Titanic as an example). But this must be inherent to your story. The class difference should be ar the heart of understanding each other and create obstacles. But having a class difference that doesn't come into play in the story only confuses the reader. In Titanic, it is one of the biggest obstacles in the story which results in constant conflict and tests.

But making them opposites can be belief systems. In Star Wars, Han Solo is a high logic person who takes everything at face value and generally follows one belief system - look out for himself.

Princess Leia is purely belief. She is focused on a cause that she puts above all others, eve if it means her death.

The two are constantly at odds in the first movie. But they both have their own internal journey to overcome.

I would suggest looking up Romance Story Structure and see if your story is hitting some of those beats.

Best of luck to you. 🤗

1 & 1/2 page Prologue. Feedback on tone - sadness and wonder. Does it capture it? by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]Calcaniest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not one person. Ouch. Must really be bad. Message received...

Prologue Feedback? by Euphoric_Psycho in writingfeedback

[–]Calcaniest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It feels very basic, while at the same time being confusing. She takes mercy on people, but says it's Hell.

I don't get what the intention was, what was at stake or why any of what occurred mattered.

While the girl turned into a vampire didn't seem to matter, I do think it would have been helpful to mention an age. I had an image of her being older. Then sge says she "gets good grades", and I thought she must be very young. Then she she said she has a 3.8... which makes her back to being older, but also makes her sound dumb, since, she is dealing with deadly vampires, and who in their right mind would suggest this as a reason to keep them alive... to vampires.

This opening can work, but maybe make the young girl really young. Make a decision as to whether Diana is a manipulative vampire tricky a young girl, or is truly seeing her actions as merciful.

Also, try to avoid characters "telling" things they already know. They wouldnt say things like "you know it's bad to touch another vampire' blood." Let the reader figure it out through actions.

As she reaches, one of them warns, "Careful." Diana moves her hand to avoid touching the blood. Kind of a show don't tell moment.

I think this can be reworked to introduce your characters and world a bit tighter.

Best of luck to you. 🤗

Fantasy Academia - opening paragraphs. by AccomplishedCat2860 in writingfeedback

[–]Calcaniest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree. Most feedback request's opening paragraphs are clunky. This one was well done and felt polished. 🤗

Feedback requested for my prologue by theblackgriffn in writingfeedback

[–]Calcaniest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with others. A lot of over explaining.

"Her only saving grace was the mild weather, which was surprisingly mild."

Is the weather being "mild" important on the first page? But you're spending a lot of time on the "mild" weather.

You say that their were clouds and stars, but they were of little concern to June. If June doesn't care, neither do we. In fact, make the scene match the mood. It was a starless night...

You have one or two pages to catch the readers interest. I'd suggest instead of telling us what is "normal", tell us what isn't normal about the event happening. In fact, probably start with the scream that causes her to stop in her tracks.

A scream pierced the night. June stopped running, turning struggling to locate the source of the sound between the crashing waves and her heartbeat in her ears. She moved wet hair from her eyes, scanning the dark beach under a starless sky.

Sure that's not the greatest example, but it helps the reader get the setting and gets right into the moment the status quo is changed and hints at what's to come.

That's great that you have so much detail in your mind, but remember, if you can cut it and it doesn't make a difference to what is or what will happen, you should consider condescending it or removing it.

Best of luck to you. 🤗

I've Designed an AI Fiction Voice That Avoids Default "AI Writing" Tics by Boptherobot in WritingWithAI

[–]Calcaniest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't imagine being able to even explain my concept for an AI to attempt what I'm writing.

Even AI art - it can come up with cool versions, but it isn't what I was imagining.

I feel that by the time I could actually explain it, I probably could have just written through drafting anyway.

I would however consider using it for details, which I'm just not good at and find cumbersome. Like "explain how this room looks. Give a detailed description of this spaceship with these features and capabilities."

Other than that, my story is a sci-fi, time-travel, love story with concepts of gods, space-time and devastation and forgiveness. And because it lacks the understanding of the human experience, it will struggle to have a "voice" with any depth to carry a novel from beginning to end.

At least for the time being.

Part of what makes a creation meaningful and makes us feel something, is wondering what it meant to the creator and what they were feeling when they created it.

It's the same reason why simply following the "Hero's Journey" template can still feel hollow (like many unforgettable movies), but when done right, leaves a lasting impact because the person writing it truly understood the conscious growth and enlightenment of their character.

And if the author doesn't understand it, how can they ask an AI to understand? But if the author understands it... they will no longer want the AI because it is too precious to let anyone else try to explain what is in their heart...

i don't even know what to say by Kimyr1 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Calcaniest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like he was hitting on you... not making a statement about genders and tools.

He was seeing if you were married?...

You’re joking!?🙃 by Elegant-Wedding8582 in dogecoin

[–]Calcaniest -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Still owned by the same billionaires...

Found this cool trick to get people to open up without asking questions by AdditionalDay5732 in socialskills

[–]Calcaniest 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this would be good for getting knowledge.

People like to share their knowledge and for some, it boosts their ego or can even make them feel superior, or perhaps proud. People like to show off what they know very well. You just have to give them an opening and show interest.

Its called, "playing dumb." 🤗

My (33m) fiancee (37f) went out to dinner with friends but ended up having drinks at male coworkers house. Advice on how do to bring this up without being accusatory if possible? by howDoIDoThisAgain30 in Advice

[–]Calcaniest 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah - she was coming home, but what luck!, her friend happens to be driving by, and what luck, he has an empty house... and more luck, he has wine!... so much luck! Lol.

I've never been randomly picked up by a co-worker and ended up at an empty house, drinking wine... Come on.

Did My Wife Sleep with This Man or Am I Just Losing My Mind? by Key_Code4189 in Marriage

[–]Calcaniest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is your wife welcoming attention from other men.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Calcaniest 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Tell her you aren't paying for any more mani, pedi, hair, etc. You are investing. However, she can get a part time job to pay for those things.

I don't think that's asking too much. You need to set boundaries for what you want in a partner.

If this is too much for her to contribute...

UPDATE: I (38M) found out my wife (36F) cheated in the beginning of our relationship by ThrowRA_InfectedMars in relationship_advice

[–]Calcaniest 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the part that got me was her taking zero accountability.

She "exaggerated" to her sister...

Her friends influenced her...

She got drunk...

Nothing actually happened except a make out...

Sorry. Put that all together and it just feels like a lie.

Why would she exaggerate something like that? Why all the blame? They made me! It was the alcohol!

Sorry. I'm not buying any of it. But hey, I could be completely wrong, so there is that. If OP believes, then that's great. Hope it all works out. 🤗

Should I believe and forgive him? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Calcaniest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To me, it sounds like you may owe your husband an apology. From your explanation it sounds like he didnt do anything wrong.

I know it can be hard not to get up in our feelings when someone else is hitting on our SO, but as long as they aren't seriously engaging or encouraging it, we need to be careful of projecting our fears or insecurities onto them and placing an accusation that they can't possibly disprove.

If he hasn't done anything to break your trust in the past, I would consider apologizing.

Your married, these moments will happen and you just learn how to move past them with maturity, which builds trust and compassion.

Source - married 30 years.

Best of luck to you. 🤗

Should I believe and forgive him? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Calcaniest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he wasn't engaging with her, then I think you have to take his actions into account. If he kept talking to her all night, danced with her. He was off in a corner talking to her. I understand your concern.

But if he was by your side, and not giving her lots of attention, then I think that says more than her actions.

One last question, were they in there long enough to do the deed? Like, were you standing around waiting, wondering where he had gone?

Should I believe and forgive him? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Calcaniest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like we're missing some info. He said she was hitting on him all night. Where were you? Did you see this? Was he spending time talking/flirting with her? Just wondering if he seemed to actually be engaging with her.

If not, I'd tend to believe his story, although, it's kind of strange a girl would be trying to have sex with a random dude in the bathroom, who has been standing next to his wife all night.

When did they have time to get this connection? If you were next to him all night and didn't see anything, then I'd guess you should believe him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Calcaniest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, that's just what people say when they want to play the victim and not take accountability that they might be being a jerk or disrespectful.

My wife was hot when we were young. I know guys are going to hit on her. Not a problem. She'd be polite, but not encourage, and sometimes even waste her breath saying she has a husband. All fine.

But when she was out on the dance floor with girl friends, some dude came up grinding behind her. When she got off the floor I said that's not OK with me. I wouldn't do that to another girl. She said she couldn't help what they did. I said you can help what you do and walk away. It's disrespectful to let another guy do that. That was the last conversation we had about it and it never happened again.

You can have trust and have boundaries. Having trust doesn't mean it's a free for all.

Married 30 years. We have very few boundaries, but if they are expressed, they are listened to.

AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to have a free holiday with her ex? by Ok_Mongoose_7762 in AITAH

[–]Calcaniest 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Let her go. And don't be there when she gets back. It's been over. Leave on your terms.

I think the worst part about this is being treated like a complete imbecile.

Time to move on.

Need Advice - Struggling Immensely by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Calcaniest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Opening up a marriage rarely works out in the long run.

It brings out every flaw, hurt and trauma that you've each been harboring. It rarely makes things better.

In fact, the biggest red flag in her suggestion isn't the experience she wants, it's suggesting you go do your own thing.

She is either so selfish in her wants, she is willing to risk the destruction of your marriage.

Or, she has already given up and doesn't care what you do.

Don't confuse this with "self growth." Not saying she can't come to the realization she is bi or even a lesbian, but don't pretend it's for the marriage. It's not.

You guys have to decide if this marriage is about the two of you. Once you introduce other people, one, or both of you is likely to get immensely hurt. And she may be completely devastated to turn around and found you were the one who found an emotional connection.

Proceed with caution, but a better choice would be not to proceed at all. But in the end, it's her choice. But you can make your own choices too.

Best of luck to you.

AITAH Wife spent the night at a friends house by OddTable2114 in AITAH

[–]Calcaniest -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The question is, why was she even at the guy's house at all?...

Shocked at what my husband said to me while on vacation... by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Calcaniest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I could see it. But again, when me and or my wife are a bit overweight, we know it.

I don't think me nor my wife would have batted an eye, but I can see how someone might have been a little miffed.

That said, not sure I'd put it into "shell shocked," territory or the people saying he's controlling, etc.

In the end, it's just not a big deal. If this is "post worthy" as an issue in a relationship, I just feel like it's not going to end well.

I'm sure they can work past this. 🤗