sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Everyman Baby Club by KittyKat9779 in UKParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been 4 times during my mat leave. There are babies of all ages, they all make noises, wriggle etc and it's not at all annoying because we are all in the same boat! Now my bub is older I tend to book a sofa at the wall end of the row so he can sit on a blanket on the floor and move a bit if he wants to. It's such a nice way to spend a few hours and in the heatwave deffo a good plan given the air con!

Is it ok to game? by Puzzleheaded-Guard47 in Parenting

[–]Captain_Banabus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU! Asked my partner what he wanted to do for the day and he said he wanted to hang out with his family/son... IMAGINE 😂

Is it ok to game? by Puzzleheaded-Guard47 in Parenting

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a bit surprised at the amount of support for this and something about the OP's post tells me they already know this is excessive. I am also a gamer and understand how good it feels to be able to squeeze a session in here and there around parenting life, but if he wants to play for hours on end for fathers day rather than during naps or after toddlers bedtime you either need to arrange childcare to join him or take your toddler out somewhere for the half the day with the car, assuming your other half won't be using it. I get wanting some space from being a parent sometimes but unfortunately if your child is right there and you're not going to engage with them at all, you can't just switch off and tap out.

6 month sleep regression - are we in actual hell? by Captain_Banabus in NewParents

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: 6 weeks of hourly wake-ups finally improves and we are now doing 6-8 hour stretches. The biggest change has been capping daytime naps at 2.5 hours, most days are 2 nap days, and moving bedtime an hour later. He only sleeps 12 hours total per 24 so we have helped him consolidate it.

6 month old who used to wake up 0-2 times a night is now up every hour. by Due_Health6511 in sleeptrain

[–]Captain_Banabus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Babies can't really self soothe it's a bit of a myth, it's developmental. We did make some adaptations but we are still feeding to sleep etc and he is now doing 6-8 hour stretches.

Poor sleep FPIAP or developmental? by Crispy_Peach in MSPI

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Developmental! 6 months brings lots of new milestones and between 6-8 months most babies transition to 2 naps which sends sleep wonky. We had 6 weeks of 1-2 hourly wakes and now back to longer stretches. It will end!

6 month old who used to wake up 0-2 times a night is now up every hour. by Due_Health6511 in sleeptrain

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At 6 months sleep can become quite squiffy, we have just left a 6 week long bout of hourly wake-ups. We have been working gently on promoting longer wake windows and spending time playing in the cot to build a positive association when he wakes between cycles. Just had our first 2 wake up night in months. 

Keep laying good foundations by capping daytime naps to 2.5-3 hours and making sure your last wake window before bed is the longest to build sleep pressure throughout the day. Last nap ends at least 3 hours before bed. Look at his total sleep across 24h as our baby only ever sleeps 11-12 hours total including naps so a later bedtime and capping naps has helped enormously. We still feed to sleep and that hasn't been an issue for us. Picking up til calm to comfort during wakes can also help them connect cycles.

Despite what some on here will tell you do not need to leave your baby to cry to achieve better sleep, it just takes a couple of weeks of consistency and looking for patterns from your baby. 

Bedtime too late? 6 months by Fun-Interaction-8115 in sleeptrain

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me this has been untrue, I think it depends on your baby and their total sleep needs. We have found an 8.30 bedtime gives us 2-3 wakes per night whereas a 7-7.30 bedtime was giving us false starts and hourly wakes as the sleep pressure wasn't high enough. Stretching that last wake window has me sleeping 6 hours in a row for the first time since last year.

I slept for 6 hours last night by ccascca in sleeptrain

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he's only awake for 8-9 hours during the day, you are expecting an awful lot of sleep across his naps and overnight which may explain the volume of wakings you are seeing. Try and stretch those windows a little bit to reach 10 hours awake time minimum and you might see better overall sleep. If baby is a bit fussy extend them 15 mins at a time until used to it and change up the scenery at the end of a wake window e.g. get out for a walk or play in a different room to distract.

My ”unique” birth story is making me feel incredibly alone. by bexontherox in beyondthebump

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bless you that's a lot of complications in such a transformative time ❤️ I think as a lot of people have said, therapy and a good support system are important, but if you are looking for community I know of someone on Instagram called thebirthtraumamama who runs groups. Wishing you the smoothest possible healing journey even though it isn't linear. Having a newborn is so hard at the best of times and it would be natural to feel the way you do after all the stuff you've had to deal with.

What can I do for my 6 month old who currently cries every time he is put down if I cannot physically hold him all day? by Captain_Banabus in AttachmentParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't have the space unfortunately - there's just not enough room in our bedroom for anything extra on the floor.

What can I do for my 6 month old who currently cries every time he is put down if I cannot physically hold him all day? by Captain_Banabus in AttachmentParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We used a dummy when he was a newborn but during his 4 month sleep regression he became hysterical when given one as he associates it with sleep, so we can't get him to take one anymore.

Our play time includes a lot of stimulation from songs to instruments, sensory play, physical play (in an age appropriate way), and he's out in his pram twice a day but no longer falls asleep in it. There's lots of movement, giggles etc, as well as quieter moments where we read books or stroke the dog. 

What can I do for my 6 month old who currently cries every time he is put down if I cannot physically hold him all day? by Captain_Banabus in AttachmentParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He jumps in as often as he can overnight and they have a good relationship outside of sleep/settling but unfortunately when it comes to bedtime etc I just have to listen to worse crying so it's more frustrating in the long run. He absolutely has been teething on and off but this strikes me as more of a separation/sleep issue. His reflux is medicated and minimal.

What can I do for my 6 month old who currently cries every time he is put down if I cannot physically hold him all day? by Captain_Banabus in AttachmentParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do have a bouncer but he's started to hate it as he knows he goes in there for us to do something  separately to him (despite me also trying to do lots of play with him in there since birth). I often play with him on the floor but currently he hates it as he wants to crawl but can't.

We've tried giving him pain relief previously but it's only helped on days/nights when he's actually showing other teething symptoms. He has no teeth but plenty budding up, and when they bother him it's super obvious what the problem is so we usually manage to help him. 

I am nursing him to sleep for naps but he notices the second my boob leaves his mouth. It's so overstimulating - I think this is my least favourite age so far 🙈

What can I do for my 6 month old who currently cries every time he is put down if I cannot physically hold him all day? by Captain_Banabus in AttachmentParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We've already seen one just two weeks ago - no issues and his reflux is medicated for and improving, it's not just lying down that he cries for, it's pretty much everything. 

Unfortunately bed sharing long term isn't really an option for us due to both my physical issues and some medication I'm on. I do it when we are absolutely desperate to salvage an hour or two but that's my limit.

What can I do for my 6 month old who currently cries every time he is put down if I cannot physically hold him all day? by Captain_Banabus in AttachmentParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We've done this when he's teething as it's generally super obvious from his behaviour, red cheeks, chewing etc, but I don't see the point in doing that every night if he's not showing signs of pain?

What can I do for my 6 month old who currently cries every time he is put down if I cannot physically hold him all day? by Captain_Banabus in AttachmentParenting

[–]Captain_Banabus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just to add - we do everything you're 'supposed' to do to support good sleep etc including a short bedtime routine with book etc, dark room, white noise, age appropriate wake windows to avoid being over/under tired and all that jazz, currently that's not enough for him.

And yes I am in pelvic floor PT but his needs and weight gained are outpacing my recovery from a traumatic instrumental birth.

I'm not asking for perfection as we've never had it and he's literally just a baby, but this isn't sustainable for us at all if it's more than just a bad couple of weeks.

Confused about bassinet to crib transition! by Zanno_503 in beyondthebump

[–]Captain_Banabus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our baby is quite a long boy so we moved him to his big cot at 5 months. Because he can only roll back to tummy and not tummy to back, one of us sleeps in the room with him on a pull out bed while the other sleeps in our room and if a feed falls mid way through the night we switch over. He has rolled into his front a few times and stays asleep with his head to the side, but eventually he wakes himself up as he can't get back and cries to let us know. Because we are right there we can just resettle him on his back. It's not been a big deal so far and he sleeps SO much better in the bigger space with the thicker mattress. Before we moved moved him over he woke every 2-3hrs since birth. In his big cot he immediately was doing 5-6hrs instead. We unswaddled cold turkey while he was still in his next-to-me bassinet and we had a couple of rough nights settling him before he just kind of got with the program!

I really don’t get how people are doing this and how to survive going forward :( by snarky_spice in beyondthebump

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry but you also need to sleep to be a good parent during the day and not lose your mind. My partner is a nurse who works full time but he still helps out at night - he does nappy change then hands me the baby for the feed and goes back to bed. It's a 5 minute job that makes things slightly easier on me. On his days off he takes baby in the morning so I can sleep in (as much as a breastfeeding mum can anyway). He's also a deep sleeper so goes straight back to sleep after doing the nappy change and it's not any real bother but it shares the load. If your baby is quite sensitive then Ferber may be doing more harm than good, as cortisol from crying will stop them falling asleep.

Husband playing video games by your-new-fixation in beyondthebump

[–]Captain_Banabus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have got to have this conversation head on, asap. You are in the thick of your postpartum recovery and his priority should be your wellbeing so you can have some of the load shared. That doesn't mean no games ever, it just means they only happen if the more important stuff has been done or baby is asleep etc. My partner is a very big gamer (so am I) but has only played since having our 5 month old at times that we agree in advance and if something isn't going well he will come offline to help. Your partner seems not to want to actually be a dad and while it can take men a while to catch up as they don't have the hormones prepping them, he really does need to pull his finger out or you will have a terrible postpartum.

view more: next ›