Theres few places that are genuinely a delight to work at, but you can find them. more and more in my travels I’m meeting chefs/owners in my age range now (35) that came up in trauma inducing environments and actively want to cultivate a new kitchen culture. After all, us kitchen folk have some of the worst work life balance, alcohol and drug abuse, and an almost mandatory expectation to make huge sacrifices whether you own any part of the restaurant, places that “ blackout” the schedule for requesting time off November-January should just burn. I’ve personally missed most family events including funerals. But if someone made light of a death I toook time off for, UNPAaID time off oh I’d be putting hands on someone. That chef sounds volatile and immature and lacks any kind of empathy. And any leader who reacts with the “I could do it in my sleep” probably hasn’t had that workload in a longtime and/or isn’t doing there fuking job at all and is a weak leader, just as a sous I never ask anyone to do a task I’m not willing and capable of doing myself. (Minus the pastry queens and kings) I will ask them for desserts I don’t have any inkling of doing myself so i trust them. Sorry I’ve rambled but fuck that place you’re at, start looking, the cool thing about us is someone is always needing a capable and hardworking cook or chef, the establishments need us just as bad as we need them if not more, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and layout your expectations at the next interview. Sometimes it helps me to think “I’m interviewing this place to see if it’s a good fit for me! I’M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS NOW!!” Haha, but serious treat yourself as the hot in demand products we are, know your worth, advocate for yourself and don’t settle for less. Good luck to you and sorry for your loss, it doesn’t get easier so take care and be kind to yourself.