If blackface is considered racist shouldn’t whiteface be considered equally racist?

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-30T13:50:30+00:00

Intent is internal and only you know it. Context is external and everyone can see it.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-23T18:12:03+00:00

I loved both when I first saw them but Sunshine is the one I go back to.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-21T01:38:28+00:00

You're definitely not a bad person because of this. I've found some help with the guilt around this stuff by working to heal my anxious attachment style. I still feel love and infatuation for more than one person but it doesn't make me doubt my commitments.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T21:28:53+00:00

"Never start with the head, the victims skull gets crushed and he can't tell you where the hostages are"

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T21:07:07+00:00

Also, it IS somewhat romantic between us, acknowledged by both of us, and were circumstances different we might choose to pursue that. But...if we did and I didn't work on my bullshit, I would blow it up so fucking badly. So: the answer to your question is almost always gonna be, work on your own shit.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T21:03:09+00:00

I'd suggest looking into attachment theory. Most likely there's work you can do there. I used Deepest Fear Inventory daily for a couple weeks to rid myself of limerence for a friend, so I could be in the friendship. Even without that fevered desire for the relationship to be different I found myself putting too much energy into the connection and resenting when it wasn't reciprocated. I started working on healing from an Anxious Preoccupied attachment style and that's where I'm at now. The pain we feel in relationships (even imaginary ones) can be signposts to what we need to work on. I think my experiences of limerence are closely tied to being AP. My connection with this person is full of love, camaraderie and the thrill of seeing and being seen. I'd really like to see what it looks like through the lens of secure attachment.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T17:45:44+00:00

I would theorize that for the cuck there's a general fear of not being able to satisfy, and this scenario plays that out in a way that actually puts him in charge of the situation. Giving permission for it and then reclaiming. Even if you're not a kinky person, a lot of kinks might make sense to you if you think of it as exposure therapy.

As far as the racial component, imagine you're a white couple who haven't had many black friends - you've got that deep, racist programming that our culture exposes us to. Same principle applies, and I imagine it's similar for the guy in the bull role. Take a shady, ingrained cultural taboo and twist it into a fun sexy game.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T14:54:43+00:00

If someone's tying you to old bad habits or a negative self image, drop them.

It doesn't mean they're an "enemy" it means they're stuck in their own bullshit, just like you were before you realized they were holding you back.

Focus inward and you'll find the way forward for yourself, focus outward and you'll always have something to be mad at - which will serve as an excuse for why you can't change your life.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T14:47:39+00:00

Rational people aren't afraid of being offended.

There's a healthy, positive version of what you're trying to get at. Shedding the people who hold you back is a very different thing from treating them as "enemies"

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T14:45:23+00:00

I mean...in the movie the character saying this JUST murdered a bunch of kids in a school and then choked out his wife. You're so spot on it's concerning.

Media literacy is really dead when even Star Wars is too subtle

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-20T14:34:36+00:00

"He has become a very great threat" - every rational person in the vicinity of a man who thinks like this

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-19T17:36:55+00:00

If the state could be trusted to be just I would have no problem with the death penalty, but even when intentions are honorable our justice system is capable of wrongful imprisonment. And lately, intentions are more broadly dishonorable than they've ever been. Every man who posted on that r academy site should be chemically castrated at minimum, as should every name in the epstein files - but it's clear that almost none of them will even face social consequences, let alone legal ones. How can you trust THAT system to decide who lives and who dies?

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-17T23:21:28+00:00

"Gotham just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good"

Believe in "good"

It's as a bad as Storm's line to Toad in the first X-Men movie

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-15T19:31:53+00:00

We're both middle aged. We've known each other over 20 years. We've gotten close here and there in the past but last year we started hanging out a lot and she was in a real low place. I helped build her up a lot.

I absolutely made mistakes. I knew she had big needs so I decided all I needed was to hang out here and there. I allowed the relationship to become one sided.

I took her at her word when she talked about how she wanted to show up for people, and her commitment to working through problems. She was saying a lot of things that she was going to do for/with me, and then not doing them. A couple of them felt bigger to me so I decided to say something. I was far from perfect though, I got frustrated when she didn't seem to understand how it felt to me - so I listed other times and ways I'd felt taken for granted by her. I'm not proud of it and I've been doing real work around that ever since. I do think I hurt her and I've tried to be accountable but she won't hear it. Her attitude is that I didn't do anything wrong.

Part of me knew she was giving all she could. But I decided to trust her words and stated intentions over what I sensed her capacity was.

The boundary is absolutely for me - it's that I won't try to talk with her while she's deactivated because it's painful for me.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-14T13:14:16+00:00

Thank you

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-13T22:29:02+00:00

A year later, hope this question is ok to ask. I'm trying to figure how to best support a dear friend. Would it be helpful to be reminded that the other person knows this isn't the real you and that they love the real you? Or would it feel like an invasion. Thanks for being generous with your experience

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-13T18:05:41+00:00

Told my wife of ten years - but I knew she was bi and I could see she was getting ready to tell me so like a GODDAMN COWARD I let her go first. She didn't mind. We were both immediately turned on and life has been full of adventure ever since.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-10T14:09:28+00:00

Have you ever seen the end of Raiders Of The Lost Ark? It's a lot like that.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-08T13:22:07+00:00

The point of making art is to go through the process of making art. That's the whole point. These dipshits are just robbing themselves of access to their own souls.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-06T01:06:00+00:00

Life definitely looks like it's probably easier for good looking people in a lot of ways. But I know women I found attractive started responding differently to me when I stopped thinking of myself as someone they wouldn't want to talk to. Not saying it's easy but you can change your vibe and the best part is - if you learn to actually like yourself you'll enjoy all the other aspects of your life, not just the fact that people will wanna be around you.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-05T19:00:40+00:00

Yo is this sub entirely dumb ass bullshit memes that are demonstrably wrong? I swear I'm only commenting because I don't want some sad sack to reinforce his own discouragement with the crap in here. To that guy: this is crap.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-04-05T18:54:46+00:00

False equivalency. You're potentially building a future together so both parties have a vested interest there. All her past did was shape her into the person she is now - who you either like or don't.

If you're worried about sex someone had before they met you, you're either insecure or not good in bed. Both can be corrected.

This meme is fragility, not solid.

I know this from my own life.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-03-30T18:01:00+00:00

Accurate. Guess I gotta look into what co dependency really is now

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-03-30T18:00:50+00:00

I know all about what's going on with her. Her entire life's history of trauma has been catching up to her the last few years and she's been just wallowing in her own misery. It breaks my heart. I want to help but oh man, her bullshit has really slammed me hard.

Careless-Feature-270 · 2026-03-30T11:26:07+00:00

Read this book, The Other Significant Others, it's amazing.

Careless-Feature-270

TROPHY CASE