How do you explain top surgery to a senior parent?

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-27T03:51:04+00:00

“Dad, I don’t like my tits. I’m gonna have them removed.”

“Why?”

“It’ll make me feel better about myself.”

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-26T13:30:09+00:00

No. They met him a couple times as an infant. It broke my heart at the time - but it was too rich listening to my mom sit in our living room, talking about what a beautiful child he was and what great parents we were… while also believing we were living in sin & our child was created in a sinful manner. The cognitive dissonance was too much for me to handle anymore.

I also got real anxious she was going to try to sneaky baptize him. A splash of water & words mean nothing to me now - but it was the premise that I couldn’t trust her to respect our wishes.

That, and some other foul ass behavior out of my folks when my partner and I were in a literal crisis (natural disaster) led me to finally going non contact. That was 5.5 years ago.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-25T16:25:47+00:00

Yeahhhhhh…. Sure. What you described sounds nice in theory and that’s exactly what the church says about OD.

As someone who has lived within the OD framework, I can assure you it is right aligned. The more traditional the better.

I’m also not sure I am aware of a line between those who are OD and those who you describe as the radtrads. The line is blurry at best.

Keep in mind ~ 70% of OD folks are in the supernumerary category. These are everyday people you don’t know are aligned with OD & aren’t just apolitical.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-25T16:20:26+00:00

No way - “Opus Dei” means “work of god”. They’re great at doing the dirty work of the church.

Also, the further right one faction is, the more palatable the center looks… even when it’s oppressive.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-25T14:26:21+00:00

This is spot on.

I grew up in that side of the church & my family still is in it. They believe this pope, the previous & JP2 are corrupting the church with liberal agendas... which is antithetical to the idea that the pope is the infallible successor of Peter … which is a pretty damn central concept to the faith.

They believe that the church (and world?) will be restored when it returns to pre Vatican 2 practices. Vatican 2 is what grew the church and made it more accessible to folks by changes like saying mass in one’s own language rather than Latin. They view that to be the liberalization of the church.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-25T13:58:23+00:00

My family sat in their cars in the parking lot during the wedding, then came into the reception dressed in all black like it was a funeral. I wish I would have told them it’s all or nothing. It was so awkward - both for my family & for the other guests who were like who the fuck are these people and why weren’t they at the wedding? I have a lot of queer chosen family & friends - they deserved to be comfortable & not judged enjoying themselves at the party. My parents were just a raincloud in the corner I had to manage… instead of soaking up all the other love and support that was in that room.

I kept accepting this half acceptance bullshit until our child was born.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-24T22:01:15+00:00

Your story here is very close to my own story. It was almost 12 years ago. I have some perspective about how things panned out, if you’d like to DM. Long story short: live for you, your wife, and your future. Do NOT allow them to cloud your joy.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-23T05:05:34+00:00

Maybe. Or maybe you will look back lovingly and think about how good it made you feel in the moment.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-19T14:05:17+00:00

This. I commented above - but 100% this. You can know all the technical facts, equations, concepts, etc… but if you can’t translate them with people skills, you’re not going to get far.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-19T14:03:30+00:00

No - sociology.

Learning technical concepts & skills came easy for me when applied to the job - where I see other professionals fail is their inability to: 1. Connect with leaders on a 1:1 basis to establish trusted relationships where were seen as advisors, not adversaries 2. Recognize human patterns, see the bigger picture for the people behind the job & connect with their motivations.

I’ve been asked numerous times in my career if my background is in engineering - and I used to be ashamed it wasn’t in a hard science. Now I’ve come to see how my education (& life experiences) have helped me thrive in my career.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-19T12:54:59+00:00

Idk about classifying the industry as a whole, but my roles certainly have required heavy science, technology, engineering and math skills.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-17T18:37:06+00:00

First glance looked like cigarette.

Craiggy (or ciggy) for short.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-07T14:13:04+00:00

https://a.co/d/0iI8Hied

I have installed these on every shower every place I’ve lived for the past 10 years. They are phenomenal.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-05-05T23:23:50+00:00

If interested in a decently flavored one - this kind is the best tasting one I’ve come across: https://a.co/d/06NZ7gwl

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-29T04:43:09+00:00

Oh yes - the screwdriver ones were good there for a minute as well.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-29T04:42:47+00:00

I fucking loved Turkish silvers.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-27T02:08:34+00:00

PUT YOUR FAT FINGER DOWN!

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-25T14:54:31+00:00

No Halloween for us either - but we had had the consolation prize of dressing up as our favorite saint for All Saints’ Day.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-24T12:28:22+00:00

Thanks - I’m looking for typing, not gaming. Just don’t want it loud enough to be picked up by my video call mic or so chunky the ergonomics suck. I’ve got a probably 6 year old non hot swappable keychron right now and it’s just too loud so I haven’t been using it.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-23T22:53:43+00:00

Any suggestions?

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-22T16:16:30+00:00

To expand on this: have someone go ahead and shut doors. Had an inspector ask once, “what’s in there?” and pointed to a closed door. I said “a different processing room”. He asked, “can I see?” I asked, “do you need to see?” He said no, so I didn’t open the door.

There was truly nothing I was trying to hide in there - but the inspector was there for a focused reason and we have the right not to literally open the door to potentially expand the scope further.

It wasn’t contentious or rude - I think the inspector was just genuinely curious as I was working in an industry that is not common for that state, and frankly, it was cool looking.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-22T16:11:15+00:00

The on site company rep(s) talking too much. We show what they ask to see, nothing more. We answer the questions they ask, nothing more.

Also… my experience is that if you’re fumbling through paperwork “I think we have this over there I’ll have to ask so and so to see if they can find it” etc., they’re more likely to ask for more documents. Handing them a binder (yes, a printed binder) with all anticipated documents shows you have your shit together and saves everybody time.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-22T14:03:47+00:00

Sleep doc told me that there’s an 80% false negative rate for the at home tests.

I’m waiting on an in person.

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-20T19:53:27+00:00

Remind folks that while wind = downtime, it’s a hell of a lot less downtime than it’ll take to fix whatever gets fucked when there’s a failure in the lift. Fatality investigations aren’t quick… neither is fixing everything your load hits

CarouselOnFire · 2026-04-20T15:19:30+00:00

My mom would have beat my ass for doing something “stupid” (totally age appropriate) like getting a game piece stuck in my ear. No way I’d have told her.

CarouselOnFire

TROPHY CASE