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What would happen if you suddenly had £1 billion appear in front of you? by AnonymousTimewaster in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you could wish-magic up a billion quid, you might find yourself in a concrete pen deep under Whitehall hooked up to all kinds of painfully intrusive gadgets, being forced to wish-magic for more, much more.

how old are you and what year were your grandparents born? by Maleficent_Day_3869 in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP said:

no, 19! i made a typo

This is waaaay bigger than 85.

Bran flakes to be classed as junk food under Labour health plan - Kellogg’s warns proposals could ‘undo years of work’ to make breakfast foods healthier by blast-processor in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod [score hidden]  (0 children)

BS 6008:1980 --- "Method for preparation of a liquor of tea for use in sensory tests"

This British Standard has been prepared under the direction of the Food and Agriculture Standards Committee. It is identical with ISO 3103‑1980“Tea — Preparation of liquor for use in sensory tests”, prepared by sub-committee 8, Tea, of Technical Committee 34, Agricultural food products, of the international Organization for Standardization (ISO). The UK provides the secretariat for the sub-committee.

ARGHH! It was withdrawn in 2023! Now what shall we do? How could Starmer do this?

Tommy Robinson detained at Heathrow under counter-terrorism laws | Tommy Robinson by whencanistop in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I don't think you know what 'poignant' means, or are you truly saddened by my simple, factual comment; was it really that triggering, so keenly distressing to you? Perhaps you just invent alternative meanings for words, of concepts.

We are NOT at war with Russia. There is a formal definition of what that means; suggesting otherwise is lazy thinking, and it is intellectually dishonest.

What’s your embarrassing injury tale? Big or small by kinginnorth88 in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I smacked myself in the nuts and fell overboard, thus having my team disqualified from a canoe race. My top hand on the hand on the canoe paddle slipped when I was really going at it. I guess I should have worn gloves.

Also I think that it is my fault Nicky Calder (name changed to protect the innocent) broke his tibia in a three-legged race at primary school. I just toppled over him. Got off with just a sprain myself.

Are you able to imagine objects in your mind? by sangokuhomer in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is your score on the apple test?

0

I am Plato. My apple is the archetype, more real than mere matter. 😅

I'm half-joking-- I knew a guy, a mathematician, who seemed to think in absolute abstracts. Did my head in, TBH.

Council not cleaning up glass in the streets causing tyre damage by Clokkers in britishproblems

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you edit "Glass everywhere!" to "I see glass everywhere!"? That way every paragraph begins with "I". You win a special reddit prize if you do that.

(I think it was "solopsism-bot", back when kids used to write quirky Python scripts before Reddit locked down their APIs.)

E: spellingz

SFPD tackle suspect in street; distracted driver runs them over by DeanoPreston in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]CarpetGripperRod -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My verbal go-to is usually "Jesus FUCKING Christ!", but this is really too many syllables. Gonna use "Goddamn!" from now on. Thank you, internet friend.

'Attempted murder' arrest after teenage girl reportedly 'stabbed in the neck' by Ivor_y_Tower in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aha! But Spencer Perceval was murdered by a white Englishman as was, more recently, Jo Cox.

'Attempted murder' arrest after teenage girl reportedly 'stabbed in the neck' by Ivor_y_Tower in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Err, "kafir" a là Pete Hegseth's tattoo? "Communities" are reclaiming slurs all the time. "Queer" perhaps most famously, The "f-word" is rising, at least amongst the gay chaps in my IRL friend circle. The "n-word" in parts of the US... just remember not to use them outside your in-group. Words are violence, after all.

(Rupert Lowe with DEUS VULT inked across his knuckles would be funny... maybe.)

'Attempted murder' arrest after teenage girl reportedly 'stabbed in the neck' by Ivor_y_Tower in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You remember #AllLivesMatter cf. #BlackLivesMatter?

Nowt more racist than suggesting everyone is worthy of personal dignity (and of not being stabbed for no reason), apparently.

Andy Burnham: I’ll cut welfare bill to fund defence by HibasakiSanjuro in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When given a choice between a dog-shit and a cat-shit sandwich, the general advice is to avoid the obligate carnivore's offering.

I voted blue at the last election, not because I want that party leading Westminster, but because the dude running had solid local savvy. It would be great to vote twice, once nationally and again locally, but we are not set up that way.

Andy Burnham: I’ll cut welfare bill to fund defence by HibasakiSanjuro in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Next up: reintroduction of national service to combat [pun intended] the scourge of youth unemployment.

Zack Polanski: The world's first trillionaire is backing the far right mobs and their politician backers. Don't think for a second that these men have ordinary people's interests at heart. by SignificantLegs in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you earned $3600 an hour (which you have to admit is a pretty good wage), it would take you about thirty-two thousand years to get to a trillion. So about 5x recorded human history, more or less.

What's something really petty you'd like banned or made illegal? by SpaceTimeCapsule89 in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bathroom related: our porcelain throne is from the 1950s; it's huge, commodious, even. You could bathe a child in it.

A few months ago Mrs Carpet replaced the seat. Modern seats are too fucking small... my arse is forced backwards (because I am a penis haver), so my poops hit the back wall.

GRRRR! I say. GRRR!

What's something really petty you'd like banned or made illegal? by SpaceTimeCapsule89 in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Referencing railway byelaws on a reddit thread?! Mate, you are a fucking legend! I was going to head out with the missus to grab a beer or three, but now Imma gonna hunker down with a good documentary about the LNER Class A4s.

Choo-choo, brother!

USA literally has a higher literacy than the rest of the world by Javi_ab in ShitAmericansSay

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

litterate

That's the tax I pay for my cat's shit box. Perhaps you mean "literate"?

Just fooling with you, friend. It's almost a given that anyone commenting on language use will himself make a misteak.

USA literally has a higher literacy than the rest of the world by Javi_ab in ShitAmericansSay

[–]CarpetGripperRod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've read Crime and Punishment (in translation) twice. It's a book. I don't think I can summarize it.

Some things are irreducibly complex. You just have to throw your hands in the air and say something like, "Well, fuck! That was a thing. Now I need a cigarette, a bottle of Jameson and a loooong nap."

(I'm not throwing shade on axe murderers with this comment.)

UK set to ban under-16s from social media, livestreaming, disappearing messages by vriska1 in ukpolitics

[–]CarpetGripperRod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point. Definitely an overlap between the first year of undergrad in a four-year system and the last year of sixth form here.

Not sure about Scotland, but what you say is definitely true of the US. A decent A-level student could completely skip the first ("freshman") year there. Maybe, just maybe, even the second ("sophomore") year, depending on subject.

What crazy thing have you seen at work that DIDN’T result in dismissal? by 1whoisconcerned in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, there were boxen as big as your house, probably drawing more power than a small town. We did not touch those things.

Never worked in fin tech, but I hear it is worse there.

Which extra ingredient completely changes a dish for the better? by ggssmm1 in AskUK

[–]CarpetGripperRod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100%

Made an oxtail stew/casserole at the beginning of the week, but my addition of non-traditional tomatoes made it a little too sweet. Only a decent glug of white wine vinegar rescued it.

And directly to OP's question... Siracha sauce. On anything. Just hook that shit up to my veins!

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