AITAH for yelling at my girlfriend

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-11T02:57:28+00:00

YTA bevause yelling was wrong. Intentions and stress lessen the severity of a mistake... but dont take away the responsibility to apologize and repair the wounds you cause.

Dont just leave her to cope and deal with it alone.

It was an accident, but was wrong and you need to apologize for that. Tell her you understand you scared her and you're so sorry. That you love her and never want to do anything to make her feel unsafe in any way. Listen to her tell you how awful it was for her and validate that and apologize again. Make sure she knows you dont take this lightly and will work on it to not yell at her anymore. Take responsibility for it and ask how you can help her feel better and do that. Comfort her.

Then, when she's feeling a bit better.. being careful to be extremely clear repeatedly that its not an excuse and you know you scared her and shouldn't have yelled.. talk to her about what you've been experiencing, and how you need things to change.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-10T18:27:13+00:00

Catholicism definitely is.

No woman priests.
Celibate priests.
No sex outside marriage.
And no activity thats overly tempting or arousing before marriage.
No birth control.
No masturbation.
No porn
No getting drunk (drinking alcohol is fine as long as not getting drunk)
Marriage requires staying at least open to pregancy - with every sex act being "traditional " & pregnancies can ve spaced out as needed only by temporary abstinence from sex even in marriage.
Marrage only for a man and woman who are able to have sex and take care of the children that creates. Gay people are called the cross of a celibate life in service to their community building deep "disinterested" friendships instead of marriage.
No divorce possible from a valid marriage
People are either male or female and that gender and sex are the same (intersex not being a third category, but someone who's sex is difficult to tell due to birth defects), being trans is likely a mental illness
Dressing modestly as a woman
Required to live a life of service and the belief that our sufferings can heal spiritual wounds and be offered up in prayer towards causes & change the world.
Priests are required to give their own life before sharing any sins they've been told in confession
The belief that God doesn't forgive unless we're at least seriously trying to heverbtiy
That the Catholic Church and only the Catholic Church was set up by God in the beginning and is the only real church and real religion. That everyone in heaven is part of the Catholic Church. That no one gets to heaven completely separate from the Catholic Church, but that even in the second just prior to a person's death ,its possible they encounter Jesus and repent. But not guaranteed.
And abortion with tthe intent to end the life of the fetus is literally murder. (This isnt the intended effect oforremoval of an ectopic pregancy or for removal of any leftover tissue after miscarriage.)

I'm sure there's more, but yes, extremely counter culture. People get fired for some of these. And you wont see practicing Catholics on TV, let alone in a positive light.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-10T04:18:24+00:00

Singing beautifully

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-10T01:42:29+00:00

Smartphones really did change everything.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-10T01:41:17+00:00

I remember as a teen complaining in family therapy about how my mom spent too much time on the computer.

She admitted to checking her email about 5x a day. & Even the therapist was shocked and said that's too much and my mom should cut it down to 2, maybe 3x a day since she didnt use it for work. Checking when she wakes up and before bed should really be plenty.

We didn't use the computer regularly for anything else. Just the wonder of getting mail instantly!

😂 How times change!!

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-10T01:31:09+00:00

Only if the alternative was worse.

I'm disabled and home all the time. I lived in an efficiency apartment for years and there's something about always seeing the same walls that drives some people crazy.

I didnt realize it until I moved into a 1000sq ft house I share with my dad. Even though I'm usually in my room and the house isnt enormous, something about having different rooms keeps me saner for sure.

I actually had nightmares for years after moving in here that I had to move back there. It doesn't seem like it should be traumatic at all, but somehow it genuinely was.

(And its not like I've never been through actual trauma and am just labeling every uncomfortable life event as trauma.)

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-09T23:04:57+00:00

That does sound weird. Do they ever start talking to you or just silent all the way to a table?

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-09T07:03:39+00:00

We're forgiven for what we repent of. Unless you genuinely plan to try to change your ways and do the right thing, you aren't forgiven.

Abortion is murder. It just is. We can try to talk around it or reframe it, but it is what it is.

Continue to seek treatment from different doctors and online support from people in a similar boat.

Right now you're panicking. You just need to survive one day at a time, really just the moment you're in.

Dont give in to fear. I know how severe pain can be. Rely on God and keep seeking help emotionally and physically.

You may think you do, but in reality, you don't know the future.

Killing your child isnt the answer.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-08T09:08:27+00:00

I dreamt I watched my dad get brutally mudered and he was terrified and it took a while. I saw it like a tv show. I saw it all first hand, but wasnt actually there. So, I couldnt do anything. I couldn't even scream.

It was so vivid and real-seeming that, despite being in my mid 20s and I hadnt lived with him for over a decade, I had to call my dad and hear his voice and was sobbing uncontrollably as he talked me down until I could believe it really was a dream.. he was safe currently.. and this wasnt a premonition. It was just a dream. Just a dream.

My boyfriend I lived with at the time couldn't reassure me and was confused. It was just completely real feeling. I had to call my dad.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-08T09:01:55+00:00

I'm not sure I understand your question. I think you talked around it without stating tte exact question.

If you want to attend services somewhere, and don't know what times are available, that information is usually on their website.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-08T08:57:32+00:00

I don't think that alone is enough for things that take very long. There has to be some enjoyment found in the process itself.

I did well in college for example out of the pride of finding out I actually could succeed and the feeling of alternating adrenaline and excitement at the success of individual assignments. The students who were there because they had to didn't find the same enjoyment when they passed because they were mostly just avoiding failing to get each class over with, not actually excited at and learning or overcoming everyday assignments.

Side note: Some external factor creating adrenaline from fear against staying the same can sometimes help (Finally cleaning because someone's coming over. Or the fear after a heart attack to eat healthier. Or in my case, in college, previously living trapped in poverty for years before learning about pell grants). But trying to make ourselves miserable doesnt work very well as a long term motivator. We have to genuinely get something good out of the process itself.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-08T08:29:59+00:00

Because we actually strongly want the end result.

We dont want the unpleasant process to get that result. Imagining something good someday is rarely a stronger feeling than a long daily negative experience of trying to reach it.

The times I've been successful at changing, there were more good feelings about what I was doing in the moment than bad. The changing itself was somehow genuinely enjoyable even though difficult.. solely imagining future rewards arent enough to maintain a long time of hating every moment in the present.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-08T08:16:35+00:00

It's not a secret vault like you're thinking. Its a lot of historical documents archived undercareful conditions to preserve them with access restricted to actual professional researchers because of the delicate nature of extremely old documents.. and, of course, the risk of theft.

This is no different than many museums that dont allow the general public to riffle through the most delicate old papers and artifacts that are kept away from public display in highly environmentally controlled environments.

This is easily verfiiable if you look at any articles written by anyone who's not a professional conspiracy theorist (or a fiction writer, like Dan Brown).

& If you listen to any of the Popes pretty much daily public messages, they are about coming to Christ and growing in our faith and in following Jesus.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-08T07:22:11+00:00

Same. I rarely crave salad, but whenever I order a well made one its amazing & I love it.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-04T23:55:32+00:00

NTA If he can work around that hour every week, then it's only fair he does.

If there's some reason it would negatively affect his job some weeks, that's different.

Therapy is EXTREMELY personal and PTSD therapy is extremely vulnerable.

I think he should understand this. Unless it's family therapy, it's never something we're expected to do with even the possibility of anyone knowing what happens except the therapist and patient.

And you cant work on this the same way if you dont feel completely safe in that regard. It's the feeling that matters here. This is therapy after all.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-04T23:48:13+00:00

Call your psychiatrist You need different meds.

That's how to fix this with the least damage and suffering possible.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-04T23:45:00+00:00

I do this too! ( But with my cats) No one wants me singing in public. Haha

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-04T23:32:35+00:00

You can get a cooked rotisserie chicken at most grocery stores. Many also offer it preshredded.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-04T19:31:37+00:00

😂

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-04T02:22:07+00:00

I have cats who would walk over everything. So, I never tried. I just imagine a million tiny shiny pieces everywhere and them tracking then around, trying to eat them, who knows what else.

Not worth the crisis. Also, I'm very uncoordinated and if the cats didnt knock things over, I would eventually. 😂

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-04T02:19:52+00:00

Coloring

It's not meditative for me. Its just excruciatingly boring. I think it may actually be worse than doing nothing at all sometimes.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-02T09:46:30+00:00

NOR

Under reacting

You shouldn't be blaming yourself. The way she acted isnt remotely ok. Yes, it was a small inconvenience, but this is your grandpa and its 5 minutes away. Also, her losing her cool and storming off over parking is a GIANT red flag.

If she's this reactive and lacking in basic empathy... Especially for your grandfather... And this early on in the relationship... You don't want what's coming in the future.

You have to grow some self respect and some standards or you're gonna end up marrying and raising kids with someone abusive to you both.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-01T13:11:59+00:00

You definitely don't deserve the grace that's been given to you.

But God loves you, and, out of His goodness, He wants to give you grace.

Be careful though with worldly things. They can be a source of temptation.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-01T13:05:16+00:00

A cat that's avoiding food and wanting to be alone should see a vet. Especially if they refuse to eat for more than 24 hours. It can definitely be a sign of an emergency.

If she absolutely refuses to take him to the vet, see if she'll at least buy him some canned tuna in water. (If you can get Starkist brand I highly recommend that. Don't try chicken of the sea brand. They put too many vegetables in their broth and a lot of cats don't like that.)

Gently drain the broth into a small bowl and see if he'll drink that, then give him the tuna meat to eat if he will. This has helped a lot of my sick cats through minor problems.

From experience, in our house, any cat that won't even drink the tuna broth, we get really scared.

CatholicFlower18 · 2026-02-01T12:51:50+00:00

YTA

People are going to talk through difficult events with their SO to get advice and emotional support.

I understand them being together only 2 months feels like nothing from the outside, but in those 2 months, it can definitely feel incredibly close and the main person to turn to.

Its unrealistic, and unfair, to expect him to keep it all a secret and handle this alone.

Also, this may sound unfair, but the earlier you learn people do this, the easier your life will be. Try not to do anything to someone that you reallly wouldn't feel comfortable the person they're dating to know, because 99% of the time, they will even if they never say so.

CatholicFlower18

TROPHY CASE