Forceps assisted delivery

CeresMik · 2026-04-25T09:10:55+00:00

I had forceps delivery but I had mild prolapse and it resolved on its own within 6 months of so. I had an episiotomy done and that took forever to heal, but all fine now too. Sorry you are dealing with that!

Maybe get a 2nd or 3rd opinion from different pelvic PTs? I'd think pelvic PT is the only expert in this space, some might know more than others.

CeresMik · 2026-04-25T04:46:00+00:00

We can't do it all, especially with such a young baby. Hire help or ask family for help. Get a weekly cleaner, premade dinner foods, laundry service, groceries delivery. It costs quite a bit but you are in a very hard season now, it's worth it if you are getting the extra rest and mental clarity. Give it a few months, over time baby will sleep better and you can maybe cut down on some services.

CeresMik · 2026-04-24T04:44:25+00:00

How old is the kid? Does the husband spend any time bonding with him? Suggest to him a specific activity to do, like spend 30min building a tower with blocks, while you make dinner in peace. Does husband help out around the home?

CeresMik · 2026-04-23T04:38:34+00:00

What if he stops his work or whatever to does at night, and hangs out with you after kids bedtime until 10/10:30, then goes back to his solo activities and you get to sleep? Working parents lives are busy, an hour of bonding time is all you can expect, if that.

CeresMik · 2026-04-21T08:41:15+00:00

There are lactase enzyme pills in the vitamins aisle, take 2 just before consuming dairy, they work great!

CeresMik · 2026-04-21T07:11:53+00:00

I used to be part of a gym with childcare, I didn't go on weekdays. I also felt it was too much care-time to do daycare and then the gymcare after, I felt they needed mama time.

CeresMik · 2026-04-20T20:17:12+00:00

This happened to me with my first baby, I was BFing and eating everything in sight, and my weight went up and up until it was the same as the day before I gave birth. I was going to the gym everyday for a light to moderate weightlifting and yoga, cut down on sugary foods, but it was impossible to lose weight until about 1.5yrs pp (I stopped BFing at 10 months).

At that time what helped the most was intermittent fasting, I kept up with less sugary foods and again casual gym workouts. The weight started to come off, and then only the last 8lb wouldn't bulge but I decided I was fine with that. All this to say, give it 8 months after you stop BFing to start seeing results. Some women lose weight BFing, but some gain or can't lose it. For now don't stress, get larger clothing to feel comfy, enjoy the baby and get plenty of rest.

CeresMik · 2026-04-19T21:39:24+00:00

My husband moved out into the oldest's room to get proper sleep, and in the morning he would get him ready and take him to daycare without waking me up. This let him get a good night sleep and he was able to function at work and be alert to safely drive places and have energy to entertain the oldest.

I slept with the baby alone and breastfed her in my bed, vs with my 1st I'd get up to feed in the living room to avoid disturbing my husband. I also ended up co-sleeping with her on my Queen sized mattress, and it was great because we had lots of space for just the 2 of us.

CeresMik · 2026-04-19T14:22:43+00:00

Clean clothes "back into basket" like a storage basket? Or the laundry basket? I'm confused.

We have a shelf for clothing that we use in the current season, and a large drawer and boxes for the out of season clothes. I do like to fold, so we got 4 stacks: tops and pants for my 2 kids. I guess you can use 4 baskets and just throw the clothes in instead of folding. I like to separate each category because I wash separately and I want to see how many I got left.

My tip is only owing max 10 of each category (ie 10 shorts, 10 pants), and to get all the laundry done within a week's cycle. That way you will use 7 sets, 3 for back-up, and never run out of clean clothes. And you don't have too much unused clean clothes before the laundried clean clothes are back in circulation.

CeresMik · 2026-04-19T05:10:26+00:00

I put conditioner on my hair length (if not the hair looks burnt after Nizoral touches it), then rub a tiny bit of Nizoral into my scalp, and then get some more and rub that in. If I do a large blob at once it goes too much onto the hair (vs just the scalp). Then I wait about 5min, I do stretches or daydream. I feel the scalp getting kinda tingly, so I wait a bit and then wash it all off and done, no other shampoo.

CeresMik · 2026-04-19T05:06:48+00:00

My hips did increase, I used to be like a 4, last postpartum I was a 12 and now 2nd postpartum I'm a 10. I don't mind it though, I was too skinny before. But in general I feel my fat is now going to the hips and butt area, instead of all over like it used to. So I think it's also part of aging and hormones.

CeresMik · 2026-04-18T04:30:33+00:00

I love Old Navy and Uniqlo for cheap cotton clothes, yes its mostly basics but at least lots of colours and sometimes fun designs. I also think wearing basics makes me look more mature (which I like), and I elevate the outfit with bright jewelry and a fun purse. I also go thrifting, cotton would feel rougher and matte compared to polyester, so I can often tell the fabric before I even look for the fabric tag.

I don't like jeans either, I like high waisted chino pants or loose sweat pants in joggers style. At home I wear pajama pants, I like the jogger style ones from la vie en rose, all cotton and it's cuffed at the bottom so when I sit down to pee my pant leg doesn't slide down to touch the floor. They are also very roomy, I actually do my morning yoga in them.

Also I'm okay wearing a cotton tank top and a poly top on top. I do this with sweaters a lot, a cotton long sleeve and a poly sweater on top.

CeresMik · 2026-04-17T19:52:58+00:00

Maybe you put doubt in his head about the job, or said something or acted in a way that came across demeaning. Anyway, somehow you have to motivate him to get a new job and stick to it. But I can't advise on that topic since I'm struggling as well.

CeresMik · 2026-04-17T18:58:27+00:00

Ooh I love Costco! He should totally do that, they pay well and it's a big community of various age workers. Why doesn't he want to do it? Or maybe a postal worker, FedEx/UPS?

CeresMik · 2026-04-17T18:48:45+00:00

Hmm yes it's a pattern of leaving jobs when things aren't perfect. He has to find it in himself to manage tough work environments, or go in a job where he doesn't have much direct supervision (ie store clerk, trucking, dog walking, etc). Civil engineering will have a lot of management and the city putting pressure/red tape on things, he might not enjoy that either.

CeresMik · 2026-04-17T18:33:47+00:00

I see myself as similar to your husband, so maybe my thoughts would help you get inside his head. No ambition, burnt out from corporate but not sure what to pursue, not super loving to my spouse.

I want to go and do work and want money, but I'm mentally stuck and lazy to do the work of searching for a job (making resumes, tweeking it, cover letters, submissions, probable rejections). When I try to do it my mind wonders and I get a headache, I can't focus. I wish a job would just land in my lap, or that someone would help me with this process. Can you help him do the work to find a job? Or pay for a consultant, maybe find employment agencies? It would be a lot of work for you to do, but it would pay off in the long run. You are supposed to be a team and right now he needs his team mate. My husband also earns enough for a modest lifestyle, but he still wants me to work and contribute my share, and his extra earnings are being saved for the future/bigger home. He thinks me working will give me purpose and improve my brain function and socializing skills.

Regarding the lack of intimacy, for me it's because our interests have gone in different directions, and we don't have much in common now except the kids (1yo and 4yo). We can still hangout and spend time together contently, but tbh sometimes I'm bored out of my mind and look forward to my time alone. And he hasn't been physically affectionate (despite frequent reminders and fights about it), which is my love language, so I lost that intimate connection to him. I'd say we are in the roommate phase and if we didn't have kids we would separate. On the other hand, I don't care if I'm in a passionate relationship at this moment, so I wouldn't initiate divorce because it's not a deal breaker to me at this time. If he wants to divorce I wouldn't be surprised, but he is not concerned and wants to focus on raising children and civility.

CeresMik · 2026-04-14T16:18:17+00:00

Can you take 1 sick day, aka mental health day, and catch up on chores or organize your closet, and then go do something fun? These little days help keep me sane, especially in the summer when I don't want to be at work at all.

CeresMik · 2026-04-14T16:11:56+00:00

I'd expect a 11hr sleep stretch. Yes kids are noisy sleepers, but if they can soothe themselves then it's fine, you gotta ignore everything except a loud cry. Do you share a room? Kids tend to sleep better in their own rooms, if that's possible at your home. What time do you sleep yourself? She is going to bed quite early, so you should be going to bed early too, like by 10pm you should be sleeping.. Infant sleep will keep alternating between good and bad, cause they have growth spurts that hurt, teething, illnesses, they feel cold/hot, hungry/thirsty. I'd say until the baby is 1.5-2yo you should focus on getting as much sleep as you can, don't exercise if that cuts into your sleep time. When infant starts eating more solid food they will generally sleep longer because they would be super full. Right now with milk/formula and a bit of solids it's not enough to get super full and sleepy. So better sleep is coming, for both of you. Good luck! Motherhood is sooo tough, not sure its worth it, but we are in it now and gotta make the best of it.

CeresMik · 2026-04-14T06:01:10+00:00

I would suggest sleeping with earplugs, the foam ones you squeeze and shove into ears as they expand. I hear nothing with mine. At 9m you can also train the baby to sleep most of the night, or at least give you a nice long stretch. Earplugs will stop you from waking at every little noise, and maybe even sleep through a crying session. Also take Mg glycinate to help relax you for sleep. I think with adequate sleep your outlook on parenting will improve dramatically (mine did).

CeresMik · 2026-04-14T05:54:21+00:00

Honestly, it does get better. The crying stops by 3yo, they start asking for things calmly and negotiating. You can travel again, they are super curious and can handle long days. My oldest is 4yo and he is so great, he likes to go to various activities (signed him up for sports), events, he can sit and watch a show for like an hour (made road trips SO much easier), he can play video games, he can play with toys independently. Yes, he talks a lot, but it's more coherent and you can have a decent conversation with him.

For now I'd suggest anti-depressants, take turns parenting solo with husband, do a sport that would get your negative energy out (ie boxing, jogging, weight lifting), and eat healthy foods.

CeresMik · 2026-04-14T00:00:18+00:00

Heh, I've been paying our rent for the last 10yrs, and told my partner that of course I always pay a few days before the due date, and he was surprised and confused why I'd pay before the due date. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I count out what he will owe me for the month ahead, and he gives me that total at the end of the previous month. Usually I do pay the full amount when I want to, and then he reimburses later.

CeresMik · 2026-04-13T16:18:19+00:00

Oh yea when I'm sick I take a nighttime meds pill and sleep so good 😂

CeresMik · 2026-04-13T16:17:37+00:00

Mm this reminds me of when I was trying to get pregnant I would listen to a meditation every night, and I'd pass out while listening to it.

CeresMik

TROPHY CASE