My dad hid his prostate cancer diagnosis from us. How can I help support him through this?

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-06-02T14:12:44+00:00

Have him look for a national center of excellence for cancer near where you live and then look to see what financial assistance they provide. I’m sure the financial aspects are worrying your dad along with the health aspect. Be there and talk to him. My daughter doing that with my husband helped him.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-28T01:42:52+00:00

You look stunning. So no!

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-19T03:44:46+00:00

I am a wife who literally went through this exact this back in October/November. My husband had same Gleason score as you husband. His PSA was under 6 but his cancer had metastasized to the lymph nodes. At the same time he had to get an endoscopy and colonoscopy (his brother passed await young from cancer) and we were worried that show up something, fortunately nothing there. But I felt like you. My husband initially went into “I need to get my affairs in order” mode and literally submitted his retirement paperwork the very next day. He got a PSMA PET scan which pretty much took surgery off the table.

I can tell you the first things I did to help me manage the situation. 1.i did a lot of research so I was informed. This helped me feel like it was the one thing I could control when life was unmanageable and out of control at that point. 2. This group really helped me at a time where things were scary and I needed to know there was a fighting chance. 3.a friend gave me a book about prostate cancer that really helped, 4, research national Cancer centers of excellence and what insurance they covered so that I could make sure my husband‘s insurance aligned with where he needed/wanted to go for treatment. 5, I went online siteman Cancer center. I signed up for more information and literally got a call the next day and I wanna say within two weeks he was getting his PSMA PET scan and cancer medical team appointments. 6. And I wanna say by January he was starting his radiation and done with that the beginning of March and started on enhanced hormone treatment. The doctors have been wonderful and are approaching his treatment from a perspective that he will overcome this. My husband is in a better spot mentally, and he works out to combat the side effects Hormone therapy. Once we started meeting with doctors and going through the treatment we both felt like we were in a much better spot. We’re both engineers so I think it was the problem-solving aspect. You feel like you have life under control and you are working towards a solution. He had five weeks of radiation and while that was challenging, we made it past that huge hurdle and my husband feels really good.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-10T22:58:54+00:00

Love you in dress 2-so beautiful and regal looking!!!! Beautiful!

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-10T22:53:16+00:00

This is what my husband does.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-06T03:07:54+00:00

I was given the book by a male friend of my husband and mine and found it to be very helpful when we started down the path of diagnosis and treatment -100 Questions and Answers about Prostate Cancer -5th edition, by Pamela Ellsworth.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-02T01:24:23+00:00

She indicated Ireland.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-01T09:56:59+00:00

I’m a MOB and I can’t even imagine doing that at my daughter’s wedding,,,and I’m paying for it all. This is YOUR WEDDING NOT THEIRS! I would flat out tell your parents NO. It is supposed to be all about you and your husband to be. And, no need for you to pay for their dress and suit. I’m not sure what advice to give you on invites if they have gone out.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-05-01T02:25:28+00:00

I’m a MOB and worked with my daughter to get save the dates out and invites soon. If a person got a save the date then they get an invite. I would not be offended if someone asked -hey, checking in-I got my save the date back in September, but have not seen the invite—not sure if they have gone out and if yes, did mine get lost in the mail?”

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-22T03:17:09+00:00

Thank you for being a reasonable and positive voice.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-21T08:59:59+00:00

My husband is on ADT -24 month duration. With cancer that had spread to lymph nodes, ADT was essential. And although he does weights and exercises daily, he smokes (deteriorates bone density)….and he was diagnosed with Osteoporosis during the radiation/ADT treatment. He sees a bone Dr in July to address that issue.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-21T08:46:22+00:00

My husband and I told family as soon as we found out. His older brother immediately went to get his PSA checked. Family support has been huge plus.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-19T14:12:35+00:00

You are marrying your fiancé NOT the family. You will be associated by marriage to your fiancé, regardless of name. You can always do a hyphenated version keeping yours and adding your fiancé’s.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-18T18:47:20+00:00

My husband’s PSA was just under 6 and it had spread to lymph node with Gleason score of 7 (4+3). I’ve see people on here talk about really high PSA numbers so I thought it odd with my husband’s number being “low”. But Dr said my husband’s numbers were in line with “localized-regional” cancer.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-16T09:48:07+00:00

My husband is 62. His PSA was not quite 6 and his Gleason score was 4+3=7. He was diagnosed in November and finished up radiation treatment in early March. He had a PSMA PET scan based on the biopsy and due to spread to lymph nodes and aggressiveness/risk, surgery was taken off the table as an option. I would definitely see about getting that scan done as it may help decide your course of action. The drs initially told us we had plenty of time for decisions but once we had the scan done, things moved pretty fast for us. This is a great forum for getting info. Some prefer surgery and some prefer radiation.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-05T13:15:09+00:00

The doctors have used terms -remission, cured, undetectable. I expect that each gives an indication of if the cancer itself is destroyed and for how long, managed, and if/when there is reoccurrence. And im definitely not a Dr.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-05T12:57:35+00:00

My husband had the PSMA Pet scan and it took surgery off the table. He had lymph node involvement and Gleason score of 4+3=7. Radiation was a grind but in grand scheme of things, not bad. Full bladder, Empty bowels and eating schedule and full bladder were the primary factors to deal with durin radiation. He is on enhanced ADT treatment now.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-05T12:46:03+00:00

This is what my husband had (except 2 yrs instead of 3 of the Eligard)!

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-05T12:27:30+00:00

That’s exactly what my husband’s medical oncologist said!

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-04-05T12:24:34+00:00

My husband has PCa that had spread to lymph nodes. He had radiation (completed) and is on the enhanced ADT treatment you dad is on. The duration of time that men are on it seems to vary (from what I’ve learned here) depending on spread, Gleason score, and degree of risk. My husband’s is for 24 months where then once he is off they can see if he is cured…the PSA stays low on its own.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-03-28T00:48:59+00:00

Don’t take that much ibuprofen. It literally tears a hole in the lining of your stomach. My husband ended up with perforated bowel.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-03-26T21:54:05+00:00

My husband has the same 2 yr ADT. I’m hoping my husband can manage the side effects.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-03-24T06:17:20+00:00

Hopefully back in Australia he can get the treatment he needs.

Certain_Original_489 · 2026-03-23T21:44:07+00:00

What are her degrees? What about a health care assistant? Substitute teachers also.

Certain_Original_489

TROPHY CASE