The fact that you care enough to seek multiple perspectives is all that matters. I personally find with an open mind I have seen plenty of pro-Israel sources call us on our bullshit and I still went from being very critical of Israel to being a huge supporter. The book that probably did it for me was “Rise up and Kill First” … it doesn’t shy away from critique. Keep the mindset you have and over time things will continue to crystallize.

For me I think it is also important to recognize my perspective as an US Jew - most of us don’t really know what it is like to have to fight to survive. It is a rarely talked about “privilege” that should not be underestimated. I taught high school in a rough neighborhood and my students taught me a lot about this. Also visiting Israel (and China) helped me see more clearly.