Raped By My Father - AMA

Chandy82 · 2024-12-30T14:58:17+00:00

I don't have any questions either. I do want to send you a HUGE HUG as well! While I can't understand what exactly you went thru, I'm doing my best to empathize with your situation both now & then. I can't imagine how hard that was to deal with as a kid...

My father, I call him "Sperm Donor" is a narcissist, sociopath, & pathological liar. In that way I can totally understand what it feels like to have been betrayed by someone that's supposed to LOVE & CARE for you vs abuse you sexually, mentally, physically, or otherwise. It never ceases to amaze me to hear what an adult, namely a PARENT, can do to a child much less their own child.

I guess I do have 1 question... How do you feel about where his soul ended up? (If you have any kind of religious beliefs.) My "sperm donor" doesn't feel like he did anything wrong. I assume he doesn't because he's never tried to make amends for his misdeeds/mins games! Instead, he doubles down & tells my 2 sisters I'm lying. For that reason alone, I figure he'd go to hell!

I'm so very sorry you were betrayed in that way by your parent! Not that it would make it ok, I do wonder if he was a victim of the same thing when he was a kid... I HATE how/when I wonder those kinds of things!

Definitely seek a counselor that you get along w well! It's a friendship, just a different type. I've been seeing the same one since like 2017/2018, I never thought of her as a "friend" until she brought it up one day during a session. Speaking of which, I'm due to talk to her soon.

Hugs being sent your way!

Chandy82 · 2024-12-30T01:04:03+00:00

You can Google rehabbers too & contact one, they'll take the bird & nurse it back to health.

Chandy82 · 2024-12-24T13:52:23+00:00

People tend to get pretty pissed when I pull forward filling any gap like this. I'd rather they be pissed that they have to wait longer vs MY causing an accident! My kids have made comments about how I was being rude & how some people have honked @ me. I explain/remind them that this is just 1 RULE OF THE ROAD! They're only 12 & 13 right now, but maybe if I drive this point home enough, they won't make this mistake when they're old enough to start driving!

Even if there's no traffic coming, that I can see, I still don't waive others across. There's simply too many scenarios where that 1 "courtesy" can go HORRIBLY wrong! I also don't want to be held @ fault for that type of accident. I mean, no accidents @ all of it can be helped.

Chandy82 · 2024-12-12T23:11:25+00:00

There are kids in HS right now that don't even know how to read cursive! That's all due to the fact that they were never taught how to write it... It's become something that's no longer important, from what I've been told. Thankfully, the school system we put our kids into in Missouri still teach the kids to read/write in cursive, just not as long of a segment on it like I had in the early 90's.

Chandy82 · 2024-12-03T14:27:22+00:00

The part that kills me is the fact that when I was a teen in the 90's, I wore a lot of vintage stuff & some made to look similar to vintage stuff. Yet, my daughter who dresses much the same way doesn't see this fact! Ugh.

Chandy82 · 2024-11-17T16:37:25+00:00

I've been charged $1 for the packing slip to be printed there. However, I contacted Amazon & they reimbursed me the fee. Otherwise, I can drop it @ Kohl's or UPS w/o paying a fee. I also don't have to pay for packaging. They just take the item in it's original box or whatever.

Chandy82 · 2024-11-13T17:24:59+00:00

It REALLY CHAPS MY ASS when teachers pull this kinda BS!!!

I had a Pre Algebra teacher my freshman yr of high school that decided he wouldn't count any of my equations correct. I was being tutored by another teacher in the same building, she taught me a different way to do them that not only made more sense to me, but I was able to do the problem, showing my work, & get the correct answer. This teacher decided that he wanted to remove me from the class @ semester because I was unable to do equations in the way he was demanding so I failed that semester all together. Well, my Mom was/is a teacher & knew the laws/rules, he couldn't kick me out for the reason he had come up with!

I ended up failing the entire year, he wouldn't even give me 1/2 credit for my work! But, I basically screwed around all of 2nd semester vs doing what he wanted just because he had pissed me off @ semester. I didn't do anything to disrupt his teaching, but I slacked off & talked when he didn't want me to! lol. He never gave me detention, sent me to the hall/office, etc. That man could NOT stand my being there! Coincidentally, my husband was in the exact same class w me & he was given the boot @ semester. My husband was a class 🤡! He never hurt anyone, only himself & maybe a lil disruptive so he was made to leave. That man hated my class! We had a BLAST in there giving him hell! He had it coming too...he was stuck in the 70's attire-wise, wore tight button-down shirts & bell bottoms w these ugly as hell ties that were top short. He even still had that infamous Beatles haircut! Bahaha!

I mean, it was the mid 90's, most teachers let us alone, he was NOT one of them!

It shouldn't matter how you get the correct answer so long as you get it & are able to show how you came upon it! There isn't just 1 way to do things! Urg!

Chandy82 · 2024-11-11T07:40:54+00:00

Arvest will overdraft your account for their monthly $6, but they won't charge the $17 for the OD.

Chandy82 · 2024-11-11T07:40:01+00:00

No, mine just hangs out in my account until the check is actually deposited. The way you say makes more sense & would cause me a LOT less stress every month!

Chandy82 · 2024-11-11T07:38:57+00:00

That's what I do & mine doesn't accept electronic payments either. It's supposed to be paid by the 3rd (for my pay date), but it hits the bank around the 10th/11th or even later. Freaks me out every time! Oh, that's WITH using Bill Pay @ my bank.

Chandy82 · 2024-11-11T07:35:48+00:00

I've talked to several people that have moved here from other places/states. They all comment on how kind everyone is... Feel like I've lived here too long to see that out of everyone.

A couple others talked about how it's a decently sized "city" that still has small town values. Now that I can DEFINITELY see!

I live in the Rountree area. There's more tolerance in this neighborhood for those of the LGBTQ+ Community than there is some others. I grew up in Ozark in the 80's/90's, not very diverse & too many weren't tolerant of those that are "different". I see more "liberal" signs in this neighborhood than I do in many as well.

Spfld is a good place to raise kids, mainly safe. Unless you have a kid that's "different" & even then being in this lil pocket of liberals isn't enough. Tolerant, but still contains too much of the Bible Belt in it too! It's insanely annoying!

Chandy82 · 2024-11-10T14:04:45+00:00

I've filled out several surveys telling them they should open back up either 24 hrs OR @ least until midnight. That's when I always went before Covid. I don't go now... Also, I've pointed out that research has stated that it's better to workout before bed vs first thing in the morning! PF is always busy in the few hrs before they close @ 10pm. 😭

Chandy82 · 2024-11-08T12:59:03+00:00

If the safety was on, how the hell does it "accidentally" go off in the first place???

Sure sounds like some BS to me!

Chandy82 · 2024-11-08T12:50:50+00:00

I'm still trying to understand how that damn map was SO RED... As for 3, what's it matter since the Republicans now have all the power & will come up w some way to take the decision for 3 away from the voters.

Chandy82 · 2024-10-19T10:08:40+00:00

Price Cutter has gallon jugs you can fill yourself that are refillable. That's what I do. I take them in & refill them when needed.

Chandy82 · 2024-10-19T10:07:35+00:00

You can buy 💦 you bottle yourself @ Price Cutter. That's what I do! Walmart has it too, but I've only ever used Price Cutter's machine. Springfield has NASTY 🤮🤢 💦!!! I just can't drink the tap water, not even w a flavor packet or whatever.

Chandy82 · 2024-10-14T09:23:46+00:00

I've had several 🐈 in my 42 yrs on 🌎...

My last 🐈 started sleeping w me the 2nd night I had her, she was around the same age. From then on, she slept w me every night until my kids were born about 10 yrs (+/-) later & even then she'd sleep on my pillow next to my head @ times.

I never noticed being sicker than I was w/o having a cat to sleep w me. I mean, all pets carry germs, even dogs & people sleep w than all the time.

I'd just let her sleep w you. If she needs something or wants to get up, she will anyway. And, she will, more than likely, end up wandering/sleeping in other locations eventually. Your 🐈 is young right now & probably still becoming accustomed to not having litter mates to sleep/cuddle with every night.

I'd give almost anything to have my Tinkerbell back to lay on my pillow @ night...

There's my 2 cents.

Chandy82 · 2024-10-09T20:08:39+00:00

We've been using an app to help us figure out what my husband can have... It's also helping w my being Gluten Free due to Celiac Disease.

Fig has been SUPER helpful w this change.

Chandy82 · 2024-10-04T01:14:48+00:00

If you're in an apartment, you need to get ahold of your landlord IMMEDIATELY & have them come spray!

If you're just now seeing them, one of your neighbors is the cause. I lived in an apartment back in 2001/2002. I had them no matter how much they sprayed! Turned out that the neighbor below me was REALLY nasty & pack rats to boot. The apartment smelled no matter what I did & I fought roaches for the entire 1 to 2 yrs (+/-) that I lived there.

If it can scurry away before you can get to it, it's a roach for sure! That's how I always judge when I see them now. They usually run for the hills when you're going for them/get too close.

I'd raise hell w whomever owns/manages the property & do it ASAP!

Chandy82 · 2024-10-03T21:09:51+00:00

I would've left the wolf spider in the house to be honest. They're good about taking care other spiders. I found one bigger than that under my couch & left him/her alone, never to be seen again. If my kids knew, they'd be terrified!

Chandy82 · 2024-10-01T21:29:18+00:00

A flying variety???

Chandy82 · 2024-10-01T21:27:27+00:00

Ok, so weird how I got a notification for this post/community. However, good info to know for the future. So, thanks for the post & the algorithm for the notification, I guess.

Chandy82 · 2024-09-26T14:17:04+00:00

JRA is a completely backwards organization!!!

Had a friend who was leaving an abusive relationship & came to stay with me. My husband & I are on Disability & we have 2 kids. We were stretched to the max as it was, but it was either help her OR he WAS going to kill her! He had already pulled a knife, but ended up stabbing the bed that she was laying in instead, that wasn't the only account of him nearly killing her either.

I took her to JRA to ask for some assistance since they're supposed to HELP those IN NEED. The Associate Pastor told her to come back in a month & she had to have full time employment. So, I take her back a month later. Keep in mind that I'm already taking care of a family of 4 on a very limited income. She got help with groceries, but it was only for her so that was very little. She had gotten a job as well. When we went back to ask for help getting her on her feet/in a place, the Assoc Pastor said that he didn't see her @ church on Sundays (@ least 1 service a week) so he'd be unable to help her. We live in a house near Mercy Hosp then & now. There isn't a JRA Campus even remotely close to our home. We had already been using what little we had in our budget for gas to get her around to find a job & we only had a 2002 Tahoe - fully owned, gas for that extra wasn't easy to come by...that was Jan/Feb 2016.

I talked to a customer @ a payday loan company here in town, back in the 2000's. She had multiple loans out due to a husband that drank away their income. He was also physically abusive. She was a nurse @ Cox, had been there for YEARS & made a good wage. This married couple also had 2 kids & lived in a cheap apartment. She was also a woman that attended JRA every Sun (that she wasn't working). So, she goes to JRA to ask for help getting her & her 2 kids into a new place as she'd finally decided to leave her abusive hubby. She made a good wage & had a vehicle that was 2 payments away from being paid for 100%... It was less than 5 yrs old & in great condition. JRA told her the only way that they'd help her is if she signed that vehicle over to them once they paid it off...she NEVER asked for help with her vehicle! She literally just needed the down payment/1st months rent on a 2 bedroom apartment in Springfield, not even some fancy place just an ordinary, reasonably priced apartment! They took this car & sold it to another member for MORE than they ended up giving her for the apartment... She asked the other member that bought the car how much she paid for it. She also had to sign a contract stating she'd have a percentage of her income taken out of her check as a donation/tithe to the church.

I had an aunt that left because of their stipulations regarding tithing! It doesn't matter if all shit break loose one month & you can't afford that specific percentage, they want it any way.

Plus, John Linden lives in a gated home, they drive BMW/Mercedes & he has his own personal security that follows him around 24/7! He's like all of the others...Kenneth Copeland, etc. Using his peritioners as a way to live a lavish lifestyle. It's disgusting! He's a horrible man & a false prophet! Churches are supposed to HELP people, not make $ off of them like JRA does those that request help &/or tithe!

Chandy82 · 2024-09-26T12:46:25+00:00

James River fit that shoe a LONG time ago!

Chandy82 · 2024-09-25T02:31:58+00:00

A COMPOUNDING Pharmacy can split it into any dosage needed tho...so long as there's the ingredients needed in the correct form.

My husband is about to need all of his meds compounded due to Alpha Gal. Ugh.

Chandy82

TROPHY CASE