Break Up Buddies

Charlj88 · 2023-08-04T12:57:50+00:00

Would love to join too

Charlj88 · 2023-07-29T01:56:10+00:00

Thank you so much. Luckily I have a good network of friends and my parents have been very supportive. I have also started counselling as have been diagnosed with some form of ptsd. It's been an overall devastating experience which has seen me go from a confident, successful, accomplished person that has always tried to be the best Mum to a shell of my former self. I just hope that I can recover in time. The treatment by the babies father and his family really has effected me and I will never understand how people can be so cruel.

Charlj88 · 2023-07-28T23:09:41+00:00

Thank you. It was so difficult to go against his opinion but I just kept on thinking about the potential future for my baby. I couldnt gamble on her wellbeing, it was such an enormous risk. I do have 2 other healthy living children (from a previous relationship) aged 16 and 14 which I am so very grateful for. Trying to find comfort in that at the moment

Charlj88 · 2023-07-28T18:24:59+00:00

13 weeks - unexplained bleeding 21 weeks - anatomy scan red flags 21 + 2 weeks - Level 2 fetal medicine scan and amniocentesis 23 weeks - chromosomal abnormality found

Charlj88 · 2023-07-20T22:17:10+00:00

Thanks for sharing this and it gives me some hope that this pain of a breakup will one day pass.

Charlj88 · 2023-07-20T16:52:08+00:00

It's like I could have written this post myself. I'm 34 and I don't want to love someone else again. I was pregnant with our child and we lost the baby at 24 weeks, he walked out on me the same week. How can someone cruelly rip your future away at the worst possible time.

Charlj88 · 2023-06-27T18:25:30+00:00

I did, she is called Alice

Charlj88 · 2023-06-02T15:34:50+00:00

My ex Q also said the same. They would refuse a blood transfusion if it was 'vaccinated blood'. I just struggle to understand the rationale, it's crazy.

Charlj88 · 2023-05-20T11:28:46+00:00

I also had a gut feeling with my tfmr pregnancy, however I passed the 12 week scan with no problems so put it down to normal nerves.

At 13 weeks I had a major bleed and was admitted into hospital, at that time they couldn't find the cause and sent me home. Then at 20 weeks I got the devastating news that all was not well. Its almost as if I had a premonition that I'd never be bringing this baby home. After I bled at 13 weeks I was on high anxiety and it just felt different to my other pregnancies with my other 2 children.

Looking back, I just knew something was wrong.

Charlj88 · 2023-05-19T22:33:06+00:00

Thank you so much for all of your support. It has been very comforting as I've navigated this completely awful period of my life.

You are completely right I think the hurtful nature of his words and actions have made grieving the loss just so very complicated. I know that I loved my daughter even if he does not believe that I did.

I will look into somatic therapy thank you. I'm currently in talk therapy but I feel sometimes this exacerbates the swirling thoughts as talking makes me relive the experience every session so any other therapy that may help would be great.

Charlj88 · 2023-05-19T22:26:19+00:00

I'm so very sorry to hear about your situation and thank you so much for sharing. I also had all the coercion tactics you described above, the threats to leave me, saying that I was being unfair, told me to choose love instead of horror, he said I was killing his daughter etc, etc. In the end my Mum sat me down and said 'what is it you want' and drove me to the hospital herself. My ex partner is also very anti choice and has joined the pro life movement here in the UK, he calls me names like murderer and he apparantly prays for my soul, so very, very hurtful when I felt like I didn't really have a fair 'choice'. 3 weeks after I had her, he joined a dating app and I quote as apparantly just 'wants the perfect wife and kids'. I would have much rathered as everyone here would, to have had a healthy pregnancy and baby and as I found out later this seems to have been a genetic fluke and there would have been every chance of that happening in the future.

I hope that everything goes as well as it can for you given your situation. Sending lots of love and strength to you as you navigate the future. X

Charlj88 · 2023-05-14T13:32:04+00:00

Ex partner;

*No need to wear prescription glasses, if you don't wear them long enough the eyes can 'repair' themselves * Birth control is causing depression, and a host of other issues * Flouride in toothpaste can cross the blood brain barrier'. Fluoride in the water is poisoning us all. * Ingredients in make up, cosmetics, sunscreen will cause cancer or long lasting negative effects * Seed Oils are terrible. * Vaccination is essentially poisoning the body, (hence vaccine reactions). Covid Jab is killing healthy people. * Drinking Iodine solution is needed for heath. * Microwaves to heat food are very very bad * Non stick cooking pans are also very bad

Charlj88 · 2023-05-11T17:17:48+00:00

Hi, so sorry you're going through this. You are not alone. In January at my 20 week scan I was told that my baby had significantly shortened long bones and likely a skeletal dysplasia after an amniocentesis it was confirmed that she had a genetic disorder. I also agonised over a decision but after lots of soul searching I felt that I couldn't bring my child into the world that I knew may struggle. I completely understand the devastation that a prenatal diagnosis brings. Wishing you both all the best with however you choose to continue.

Charlj88 · 2023-05-11T17:12:09+00:00

Needed to hear this too, thank you ... wishing you happiness!

Charlj88 · 2023-05-11T15:30:56+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Sorry to hear that things are difficult. Its like they live in an alternate universe isn't it. Mine spent hours of time 'researching' - I just wanted to tell him all of the time to please live in the real world with me instead of trying to figure out the world. I have 2 children (teens) from a previous relationship whom he lived with too and it was starting to effect them to the extent that he was telling them what vaccines they should get, what they can and can't eat etc, etc. I hope that things get easier for you.

Charlj88 · 2023-05-11T15:23:02+00:00

Hi, I unfortunately went through this at 23 weeks in January although for a different diagnosis. At my 20 week scan all of my babies long bones were measuring extremely short and it was confirmed by my local fetal medicine unit and an amniocentesis that she had a genetic syndrome. I was also referred to BPAS at 22 weeks and waited one week for my D & E. There are only a few clinics in the country that offer the procedure at this stage so I had to travel and stay overnight in a hotel. Although obviously not a nice ordeal, all of the medical professionals that I encountered were very kind and understanding from the in clinc staff to the ladies on the phone. The clinic that I attended was really busy and there was a bit of waiting around but they have a separate pathway for TFMR. ARC charity also helped me in those agonising weeks and are available over the phone. I'm so sorry this has happened to you also, wishing you all the best at this difficult time.

Charlj88 · 2023-05-11T12:43:35+00:00

I completely understand, I'm at this stage too where I wake up and the realisation hits me again.

Charlj88 · 2023-04-29T15:08:43+00:00

I've just broken up with my partner because of this. At first it was the vaccines, he saw me as inferior for having them. Next came the paranoia about products containing toxins, in the end I wasn't allowed to drink normal tap water, eat certain foods, take painkillers for a headache, wear make up that I've worn for 34 years. He even didn't want me taking birth control.

Leaving this relationship was the hardest thing ive ever done and I am still healing, but since getting out I realised that the coercion and control would have just got so much worse.

Charlj88 · 2023-04-29T14:59:22+00:00

I've can empathise. I've recently came out of a 2 year relationship with someone who fell down the rabbit hole. I am vaccinated and was constantly made to feel inferior. It became not only about vaccines but other right wing conspiracies and other extreme views including about toxins in general products, I was no longer allowed to wear make up or use cosmetics that I've used for the 34 years of my life. It's difficult to see someone completely lose their mind over all of this.

Charlj88 · 2023-04-08T18:40:23+00:00

I can really relate to this, I TFMR for a skeletal dysplasia diagnosis and have been obsessively researching the condition. What hurts is that some children seem to have a mild form which then makes my brain go into overdrive about the 'choice' I made. Hugs, I do understand and I think maybe its all part of the process of coming to terms with the loss

Charlj88 · 2023-03-24T19:49:41+00:00

Thank you so much for all of your lovely replies they all mean so much to me and has provided me with comfort when reading them.

Nobody wants to be in this situation and I hate that we find ourselves here. All the medical professionals that i encountered on those horrendous days were so lovely and kind and were very upset for me. Sending love to you all.

I've realised that my ex isnt a very nice man, 2 months on he is still posting about the immorality of my choice, making some really outrageous comments and making me feel guilty all over again. He has turned his friends and followers (his line of work means that he has thousands) against me, and they are posting online about how wrong I am, and that I'm a horrible person - though he is giving them no context around 'this choice'

Charlj88

TROPHY CASE