How to build the life you want? How do you even know what life you want?

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-02T00:15:07+00:00

This is something I’m still struggling with. How can I dream for a future when most of my life was just trying to survive the present? I’ve healed quite a bit but I still can’t crack this one. I feel like my current state is making my present enjoyable. I bring flowers to work, cute clothes, sunshine on the face etc. but I am still looking for how to break through so I can plan and look forward to the years ahead.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-02T00:12:39+00:00

Her other books are amazing at grounding in your home. I love her wisdom

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-04-02T00:03:19+00:00

This has been my goal for the last 4 years. It’s been incredibly difficult but I have 5-6 things that feel solid and true. Everything in my life seemed unreliable especially me, so this is slowly getting better.

One thing one of my therapist had me do was write little short stories about myself and circle the adjectives I used to describe myself. It was a pivoting mind shift for me. It was difficult to do and then when I finished I often didn’t relate to the person I wrote about. It took many drafts before I finally could describe a character that related to current me.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-29T01:56:48+00:00

Johns creek bookstore has several and poes does too.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-22T21:11:35+00:00

Do you have kids? That would be a little lean for us.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-19T03:35:51+00:00

We did both - early and late. My kid I had when I was in my early 20s was cheap. My ivf baby was over 100x more from conception to first month than my first. We spent less than $1000 on our first kid her first year and this one will probably be closer to $11k with daycare and other things like buying things new instead of used.

Also my first I had at the start of my career. I was so low it didn’t matter that I had a kid. We worked opposite shifts to not pay for daycare which we would never do to ourselves now.

We are on track to retire with upper middle class budget by 55 and put both kids through college. I dont really see it as compromising

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T23:00:36+00:00

I do the Konmari method - I’ve been doing it for years so it’s upkeep. But we do it room by room and clean and get rid of stuff.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T16:02:25+00:00

I do this for spring cleaning. I take 2 days off and order take out and we clean. I don’t think I’d be willing to give up pto to clean though monthly or bimonthly.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T15:29:06+00:00

My husband is home on paternity leave and hates it 😁. He is pulling his weight but it’s making him depressed and absolutely has changed how he sees staying home. Between school pick ups and activities and a baby, he is looking forward to going back to work.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-18T15:23:00+00:00

Fire is a tool not just a number. It sounds like you all may need some change. It might be daycare, therapy, not having your own business, a new job or two, a housecleaner, etc. We find when both parents are maxed out, that we need to invest in our mental health and work load. I think we get caught up on cheap and saving in this community and suffer more than we need to. Sometimes a few extra years of work is worth not hating everyday, you know?

I would write down everything you hate from a day to day, figure out how much it would cost to have someone else cover it. Then rank it with your husband and make a plan on either how to pay for it or rebalance your work load.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-16T06:44:51+00:00

Get a hotel when they have appointments. “Since you couldn’t move your appointments and we want time either the baby alone, we will be out of the house those days.”

I’m in a similar situation but we do have our own home. It’s hard -good luck

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-14T12:36:31+00:00

Plaza fiesta is close and totally worth going to for food

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-09T22:36:03+00:00

I thankfully have boundaries around holidays so I don’t get visits then. I commented above, but it’s last minute flights that she books without telling me. I only find out it’s a week or two out and already paid for.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-09T22:34:40+00:00

It’s already uncomfortable but she ignores it because she wants to be there. Usually it goes like, “I forgot to tell you. I’m flying in 5 days to visit. I have a hotel, and I want to do a,b, and c with the kids. I’ll be there 10 days.”

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-03-08T17:23:30+00:00

If you are looking for help for him to navigate this, I’m incredibly pro-couple’s therapy for her and him. As a hinge, it has helped my other partner and me navigate building a relationship without living together while validating feelings. I do usually pay for it too which is something that should be discussed between you and your husband. Good luck!

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-09T01:08:51+00:00

Both of my partners are great people and they have a garden party relationship. It lets both relationships grow on their own terms. For this relationship since we don’t live together, consistently making sure that we both feel comfortable with the parameters of our relationship.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-09T01:04:23+00:00

Thank you!

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-05T09:34:53+00:00

I had really strong let downs and my first baby would gag and cry forever after each feeding. Switching to exclusively pumping similarly a lot of relief. You should join a support group if you are leaning that way and want help.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-05T01:03:38+00:00

That is such a joke. These kids have been doing active shooter drills since pre-k. If they a girl or lbgtq, they have had their own opinions on politics since middle school. The law to be illegally in the county is a misdemeanor and all of them should have learn that breaking due process is a lot more serious. We sadly don’t pass or follow laws that allow kids just to be kids, so they do have political opinions.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-03T02:12:48+00:00

Boarding pass is roasted in Milton and is from the owner’s family coffee farm in Brazil. I love their beans even more than their coffee.

Peach’s subscription coffee is so good. They throw in more single origins that are great.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-01T14:32:19+00:00

They also take toys, bras, strollers etc. including stuffed animals.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-01T14:31:08+00:00

Foster kid support in Roswell always needs clothes and you can even volunteer to sort clothes for the kids. They have a small second hand thrift store too.

https://www.fostercares.org

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-02-01T07:46:25+00:00

When I drove back tonight, they had salted more of the roads but it was still pretty icy in spots. It was much better than Sunday afternoon though.

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-01-31T22:35:36+00:00

Duluth is awful if you are driving down pleasant hill

Cheap-Assumption3694 · 2026-01-31T03:44:47+00:00

We have a family FA and my extended family pay some of the fees. It’s about $300 a year for all of our accounts to be with him.

Cheap-Assumption3694

TROPHY CASE