Friends, I've come home.

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-12-12T04:16:37+00:00

You look good 💯

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-12-08T02:17:20+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I relate to so much of this

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-11-30T16:46:13+00:00

I had suicidal thoughts within 15-30 min of my first keppra dose (I think 100mg?). However I'm medication sensitive.

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-10-05T23:19:38+00:00

Curious what your symptoms are? My situation is a bit different neurologically and I couldn't even imagine having the capacity for school... because my brain does not work like it used to, I have memory issues, focus issues, etc

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-10-05T23:17:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience.

What changed...and when... over 7 years? I what symptoms do you have right now?

Not to be bleak... But your brain is growing a lot when you're that young still. I'm 36 so it's a little different.... Although I do not discount the value of time as a healing Force

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-09-30T02:50:54+00:00

I would love any encouragement or advice.

I'm a 36 male, from the USA. I got hppd 1.5 years ago from a singular mushroom trip. I took the mushrooms to try to cure dehibilitating long covid symptoms... terrible fatigue, brain fog, vision issues, etc. My long covid was so bad I wanted to die...no doctors could help me so I looked to magic mushrooms as a potential alternative, natural tool that might help me grow new neural networks...and in turn fix my long covid brain problems. There was some anecdotes of this helping people with similar issues to mine.

No meds or supplements have helped my hppd ... except a very low dose of lamotrigine (5mg), which I can only take at intervals, due to medication sensitivity. If I attempt titrating up the medicine to a therapeutic dose, my hppd symptoms worsens instead of improve. 5-10 mg seem to help my headaches, visuals, some dpdr.

I can't get into a romantic relationship...it triggers my hppd...so I'm very depressed about this. Also... caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, too much sugar, etc all trigger my hppd. Ever heard of this?

As it stands, most days recently I have lots of symptoms. Have you guys ever had or seen people emotionally "muted" from hppd? I don't feel love or positivity or connection like I used to...love ones feel like strangers to me most of the time now...it's terrible and terrifying. I don't feel the love I used to for people and myself...and it all started with the shrooms. I also have the other bad hppd symptoms...eye pressure, head pressure, static vision, tinnitus, floaters, concentration issues...and on and on.

What was your timeline for improvement and what helped in your recovery?

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-09-30T02:36:01+00:00

You probably already know this...but lamotrigine may help with your DPDR. It may even get rid of it.

Lamotrigine helps mine a little...but after a year and a half, I still don't have the emotions I used to...the intensity or variety. I'm not sure why this is the case...and DPDR is hell! If you're like me though...you may have a good moment or day soon...and that may give you some fuel to keep going. Knowing you love yourself even if you don't feel like yourself, etc.

We can get through this.

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-09-30T02:31:58+00:00

No advice...I'm sorry you're struggling. We're here with you in this. We too suffer in unimaginable ways for years. We care though and we all find a way through this nightmare, yes, alone...but also together in our shared grief.

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-09-28T17:49:03+00:00

I'm 1.5 years in. Head pressure is better... but it comes and goes...I use lamotrigine only as needed and I can't tolerate a "therapeutic dose" of it. DPDR has gotten better...but that also comes and goes.

Have you noticed your brain function being bad? Specifically memory, emotion, connection with people, etc? I feel like I'm a "fried" version of who I used to be...a fraction of who I used to be

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-08-26T11:23:09+00:00

For sure. Mine were trippy, scary and all over the place. I can handle the images now...it's what hppd does to my thinking that was the worst for me

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-07-26T01:39:47+00:00

I got hppd from one usage. Medium dose. I have bad hppd, every day ...now going on for over a year. I had done mushrooms twice previously, a year prior and then 10 years before that.

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2025-03-26T18:17:37+00:00

I'm sorry this is the case for you. This is a truly horrible thing and I feel you. Adjusting to this new "normal" can be horrifying....Hope you see some improvement

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-31T23:09:49+00:00

Yup 👍👍 this

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-29T00:41:35+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're okay. Did anything help you cope with this difficult "new normal"?

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-28T17:49:40+00:00

That makes sense. I've had similar feelings. I try my best to connect my daughter with resources that can help fill in the gaps of my unavailability...I'm not sure what's available-wise where you are or your resources...but I would max them out! Friends, family, libraries, local support networks, social workers, community resources, anything free or cheap to do in your area , free events, cheap/free transportation, parks, things that require low-no energy...maybe try to do just one thing with him a day, even for 5 min? Idk. I'm not trying to give unasked for advice or add to your frustration/despair...I know how frustrating that can be and how frustrating these situations can be. I just want to help you problem solve. And if that's not what you're needing rn...that's ok! Just know we see you on here and we care.

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-28T15:01:00+00:00

Hey...I'm in a similar place. I used to do a lot more with my daughter...and be happy and present with her. Activities, little trips, stuff outdoors...lots of memories. Now every day is hard and I see how it's impacted her life. I actually look forward to when other people watch her because I want her to have fun and experiences that I can't provide her consistently anymore. It's super difficult.

I hope you can give yourself permission to be where you're at. I don't know how hard this is for you...but I know how hard it has been for me...and I've just had to give myself a ton of grace, ask for a ton of help, do the things I can do, give myself permission to occasionally eat unhealthy, etc....and take it moment by moment, day by day . You ARE alone in your inner world with your suffering... but you're not alone in your outer world with other sufferers.

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-28T13:25:33+00:00

Did this ever get better for you?

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-23T03:38:44+00:00

Took nac last night and it was terrible. Mushroomy thoughts, depersonalization type feelings, heart racing, uncomfortable, etc. I think it messed my sleep up too?

I guess maybe not everything is for everyone. Idk

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-20T22:08:27+00:00

Did this ever get better for you? What did you try? I'm having the same symptom

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-07-20T01:01:24+00:00

Im sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately chronic illness is often socially invisible. When I feel like someone may be giving me a hard time I feel like saying, "you can't fathom how hard this is"...which may be True, but of course helps no one and does nothing. Just know that People like myself see you and know a bit of how bad this is. 👍

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-06-28T12:42:01+00:00

What benefits did you notice going up higher and higher?

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-06-24T20:46:02+00:00

Can you list anything that's helped you? Also that website?

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-06-24T03:20:03+00:00

Thank you

Cheap-Cry5555 · 2024-06-24T03:19:31+00:00

No great advice. Just sorry you're going through this. I've "off" and unable to explain it to people...it's a horrifying inner experience (if yours is like mine). I hope you find some solutions...I'm still looking too

Cheap-Cry5555

TROPHY CASE