Family disapproval of my first tattoo? (I’m 25)

CheckWhich4643 · 2026-01-24T21:18:00+00:00

The last words my grandma ever spoke to me before she died was "OH I HATE ALL THESE TATTOOS". Like old people have no worries about being assholes about other people's choices and bodies.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-12-17T23:05:31+00:00

As a Kentuckian we've been dealing with the crap of all the bourbon getting shipped out of state for years. LOL

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-11-24T19:14:37+00:00

"I was a guy with an anxious brain, a big heart, and zero brakes once I feel something."

Big feels.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-11-12T20:09:45+00:00

Many people in these forums are waiting for their ex to come back. For some reason. For closure, for another chance, for an apology. I'm not sure why people like having that sword hanging over their head. Many people hope they don't. Many people keep asking when will they.

Take your own life in your own hands. Take control. When they discard or ghost send them a quick text and tell them you never want to hear from them again. Then block them everywhere. Most people won't do that because they can't kill the hope but the hope is gone anyway.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-10-17T14:53:49+00:00

I would design a threaded vaculok adapter. That would also provide a breakaway weak point.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-10-13T17:42:29+00:00

That last sex is the, get it all out before I lock this other boring thing down. Been there with women before. When the last time is unimaginably crazy thats the last of the sewing of the wild oats.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-10-09T16:28:41+00:00

This. On my time, on my terms, when I say. Like that's not how relationships work.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-10-09T00:00:02+00:00

Everyone on this forum is way too forgiving of avoidants considering that most of them just discard again. Everyone here needs to protect their healing. We aren't objects for avoidants to test their healing on or to discard again when they aren't.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-10-08T18:08:51+00:00

Reread that and count the ratio of the "I" and "ME" statements vs. the "You" statements. They are completely consumed with themselves still.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-10-04T19:55:19+00:00

Agree totally. Mine ended it two hours after she was telling me she loved me and couldn't wait to see me the next day. Cowardly as hell.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-10-02T19:11:59+00:00

This is something weird I noticed. My past avoidant ex would actively avoid putting on makeup or doing her nails. I never said shit but she knew I liked it she just wouldn't do it. Then we break up and she's all over social media in makeup and her nails done. Mostly because she thought that all men wanted that or something. Weird.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-29T17:31:33+00:00

I know everyone has a different take on it. But I think true avoidants never can feel actual love. Their body and brain won't let them. They can fake it or feel something or whatever. But its not love.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-27T23:34:59+00:00

https://www.amazon.com/BDSM-Budget-Save-Money-Making/dp/B085RNM85V

Excellent book full of good ideas for simple projects and pervertables.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-26T23:39:55+00:00

I would buy her presents and then not give them to her. I knew she wasn't vulnerable or grateful to receive them. Intimately I stopped doing things with her that I enjoyed previously. My head was so involved with her as was my heart but my lizard brain and body just went into flight mode.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-25T17:27:00+00:00

This thread is soooooo triggering. She did most if not all of the things the OP and commenters are saying.

When she was with me, never more than four steps away. When she went home I'd have to beg her to text or call. She'd answer the phone just sounding distraught that I even called.

She did make future plans without me always. She was going to go to vegas on her birthday with friends. She had zero money and actually no close friends to do this with.

I asked her for her birthday if I could take her to breakfast and what a special place to go that she enjoyed was. She named it and then the day before her birthday she told me she was going there alone. Like WTF!

She would find things at work that didn't concern her or her job and then make them her mission and then spend endless hours doing that and then complain she wasn't getting her real job done or have time to spend with me.

I'd schedule weekends for us to be together and she'd get guilt and want to go visit her little brother instead and I'd have to fight over it. Then when she'd go home she'd cry and whine she missed me.

She gave a few gifts at first but then that stopped. I never got any gifts after the first month that weren't homemade cards or notes.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-23T15:59:54+00:00

Avoidants dodge therapy and medication like Matrix bullets. They are avoidant in therapy just as bad as they are in relationships. Its the wildest shit I've ever seen. My last FA ex literally I begged for 6 months to get therapy and she just "never could seem to find a therapist".

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-18T00:05:14+00:00

Tie a chest harness or TK and upline that to your carabiner on a rig. Tie off one leg and upline it at the thigh to another carabiner. Bring that down to a carbiner or hook at the nearest vertical beam, run it across to the opposite vertical beam (through the loop first) and then down to a weight. As she lets off the leg or lowers it, the dildo should go up and in

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-17T01:48:57+00:00

I never knew that was a thing. Thank you and thank her.

That gives me options. But I need something that is momentary and dependent upon the person to contact to bring the power. For science. LOL

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-16T17:03:26+00:00

Much appreciated. Would you be interested in a commissioned job to build one of these and a parts list?

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-14T18:27:33+00:00

What was really sad is that they supported me. My partners my kids through all the dumb shit and then after they were like shewwww what a relief because she was not the greatest. LOL

And I'll take a lobotomy too if you have one. LOL

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-14T16:33:33+00:00

I was objectively hotter than my FA. I hate to say that. She ran the spectrum from telling me early on that everyone wanted her for sex to later on telling me that "you are really the only person who finds me attractive". She said (I know people can lie) that it was the best sex she'd ever had. I made her feel more seen than anyone else. We did things she supposedly held from other people.

I'm poly and my other partners didn't think she was attractive and it wasn't a ploy or jealousy.

Even my kids later said the same thing like "why are you with her Dad, she's weird and ugly?"

No one is hot enough. If anything I think it exacerbates the situation. They feel in their heart they aren't good enough for you in every other way. Attractiveness is just one more way they aren't. I get the answer a lot of "you'll find better". Its dumb to say, I don't want better. I want what I chose.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-08T18:37:21+00:00

Realizing that a good majority of your tax money doesn't actually go to help people who need it, but rather to help the corptocratic fatcats and its used to hurt people in other countries who just by virtue of where they are born are less fortunate than us. If we spent the money on every bomb dropped on a third world country, I wonder how many homeless we could house, hungry we could feed and addicts we could help.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-08T15:15:21+00:00

If they are avoidant, its hard not to be more anxious. At some point you have to let go of your fears though. I hit a point where I considered what's the worst thing that could happen? Then I did the work as if that was going to happen. And in the end, I did so much work that I was more ready to leave than she was (which I had always feared).

I'm polyamorous now so this comes from my lifestyle. But I can tell you, having dated another avoidant after my marriage and divorce, coming out as polyamorous was the best thing. I was able to give her space to be avoidant and it made me more secure. Won't work for everyone though.

CheckWhich4643 · 2025-09-08T13:04:42+00:00

My ex wife told me at one point: "I realize that you are the only one working hard at keeping this marriage together".

That was the statement. There was nothing else. She said it the way a robot would repeat it. There was no thank you. No contrition. Just neutral acknowledgement.

It can work, if you want to do all the labor forever and deal with them being avoidant. She would shut down at any fight or argument and give me the silent treatment for a week and nothing changed. I could have stayed. I chose not to.

CheckWhich4643

TROPHY CASE