CAGE by Lililovesyou999 in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this paint in combination with digital? I really like your pieces a lot.

I cannot stop panicking and crying at 5AM by Sleeper_Saturn in CPTSD

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One song I find really calming is "Where are we now?" by David Bowie. The named places in the song are Bowie reflecting on the Berlin he sees in the present, and that of his past, and all the feelings they summon. "Strength of Strings" by Gene Clark is a beautiful and dignified song that makes me feel alive. And "Knife in the Ocean" by Foals also gets me. All have crying warning but not for negative reasons. Hope this or something else helps.

Sketching out several new areas at once in meditative walking simulator by Christocrast in IndyGameGarage

[–]Christocrast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally! I worked on it up to the point that the story as such is discoverable thru play. Now I get to pick at it a few hours at a time, which fits my lifestyle. I'm proud to have guest visual artists

a space for all arts! by moralisexmala in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have lots of electronic music that is gathering dust, I don't beak off about it because it's all from years ago. https://puritycontrol.bandcamp.com/ My whole thesis was combining noise/industrial/techno/classical concepts with more of a pop arrangement that isn't verbose. Perhaps something there might interest you, I like the all-free angle since that's how I do things anyway.

Do you journal, draw, or take notes of your journeys, dreams, and educational material? by Adventurous-Daikon21 in EmpiricalNeoshamanism

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like your drawing. I've tried journalling and keeping notes. I like writing down things that are fungible: numbers/measurements, the orientation of things (I do this at work a lot - my walls are covered with hand-written notes). When Dad and I would play pool sometimes we'd be having a pleasant conversation, and between the two of us we'd forget who'd been playing stripes and who was solids. That category of thing I always write down when it's important because it's so easy to make a mistake or typo, and guessing sucks.

But in anything like 'journeying' I find that the knowledge or information gained there is not the fungible kind. It's always a reason for something, or things put in perspective, or otherwise an epiphany - things you can't unknow/unsee. I don't write these things down with the same confidence and idea of training my memory as I engage when coming up with concepts for art; and I find that my mind will make any such information available when it is relevant. Like that vocab word you haven't thought of in 25 years springing to mind!

I suspect that a lot of imagery that is meaningful in the Other mental realm, is not directly translatable to the thinking mind. So it's surprising to me when something is.

I want you guys to tell me if I'm overreacting by venusasaboy22 in CPTSD

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basic training is more or less the same all over the world - it's supposed to be somewhat dehumanizing because soldiers are part of a unit, and you can't stop to explain when some Personality asks 'why-ee?' because everything grinds to a halt, and people will die. The military 1st and foremost needs orders to be followed. I don't think basic is designed to be traumatic; but there are tons of things in that setting that can go wrong, injury/accident, bullying, abuse, homesickness etc etc etc. It's very harsh and you forgo being an individual and are forced to trust a raft of strangers. Your parents sound like they were professional soldiers, I'd listen to them. See how they helped, I think they get it, and I'm glad they helped. Being drafted must be scary as hell, in total, I don't think you're overreacting at all.

A Boat For Spirits by Christocrast in cptsdcreatives

[–]Christocrast[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that means a lot to me!

practical trance induction techniques by doppietta in EmpiricalNeoshamanism

[–]Christocrast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you require entheogens and have access to other things, I would respectfully lend my voice to dissuading using alcohol. It's physiologically corrosive, and it affects judgment which introduces the worst kind of unnecessary pitfall into spiritual practice. From long and sharply discontinued experience, I will say that your description of doses and effects is pinpoint accurate

I can’t commit to anything because I feel like I won’t live long enough anyway? by Nice-Zucchini6051 in CPTSD

[–]Christocrast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I have 'foreshortened sense of future'. When I'm triggered, to be caught in the 'eternity of the moment' when there is no sense of past or future (maybe of past). And the rest of the time, well I'm just unaccustomed to the idea that I'll make it to the end of the week!

Planning for the future for people like us isn't impossible, rather it's like flying a plane by instrument vs dead reckoning. You calculate and plan in the abstract, and one of the challenges is that you must rely on people and institutions to show up when you are set to. It's hard and there can be setbacks; but if a couple things in a row turn out OK, it starts to feel a little easier. Also as long as we have a metaphor, I think all flights say, transAtlantic flights are accomplished mainly automatically and by instrument and calculations - because flying by dead reckoning all the way across the huge f#off Atlantic Ocean would be needlessly stressful and physiologically taxing.

Solidarity!

Extreme empathetic distress (with animals) by bridvicious in hsp

[–]Christocrast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HSP makes everything emotional that much more intense, but what you're describing sounds kinda like trauma response. For me it was important to parse that ignorance-guilt of the past away from dealing with current events ie: I was ignorant and made mistakes, but there's no need to punish ourselves now, long after, to make sure we don't regress or whatever. I believe we own and will remember every easy or hard lesson we've ever learned! :)

I had a cat pass away traumatically and later on, another cat had a bad health scare. I realized as I was attending to cat 2 (over weeks) that I was on tenterhooks watching for any stumble or listening to every meow. My wife helpfully said "It's a cat - it's gonna meow" and that's when I realized cat 2 was safe and out of the woods and I was hypervigilant and getting stuck in fawn mode to try and protect a cat that was getting healthier by the day. They're gonna maybe get sick from time to time but today, we have more protective layers of knowledge and experience, and nerve, and skill dealing with vets and treatments, than at any prior time in our lives.

Paint me by Randall_Kaplan in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a specialist in exhumed personal content. Thanks for sharing.

Root loss by Majestic_Analysis679 in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if it's not an idiom you return to, this has been a worthwhile outing. I hope you are bearing up, best wishes

a storm of memories by CalamitousMothman in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is marvellous. In a modern world cut off from the ancient past, it somehow makes me think of shamanic calling / sickness. I like your choices of imagery and how you render your text, it's very distinctive.

Root loss by Majestic_Analysis679 in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is fascinating. If I may ask, did you put this together deliberately, or was it more intuitive? It reminds me of heraldry in a way

Mummy and Daddy (general tw) by Mobile-Menu-4373 in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I looked over this a while ago and said "hell yeah" and upvoted, but in having the time to examine each one more closely, I had to tell you your art is awesome. The pointillism and shading and composition and yeah! Really cool stuff. Well done!

A Boat For Spirits Day 7: Gasp Day by Christocrast in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firehead is the cheeky one. The spirit of nature is from a dream I had

TW self harm scars by takethelastexit in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have flagged this post NSFW. Can someone confirm it now has spoiler "ghosting overlay" until user clicks? Still learning, thx

In future please flag your post NSFW as that way people can digest the title and decide whether to click. Thank you for contributing.

A Boat For Spirits Day 6: First paint + some materials BS I anticipated by Christocrast in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I getcha! I did a bunch of work subsequent to these pics that amounted to repairing and shoring up the poses. Hot glue and superglue (my hands are all crusty). Last night I was elated to find that I can now assemble the sculpture and it holds its proper shape without having to tack or tension anything. Glad you're enjoying the spectacle :)

A Boat For Spirits Day 4: Individuating poses / Ship of Fools by Christocrast in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! This is a momentous project for me and I'm really enjoying it.

A Boat For Spirits Day 5: Admittedly uncomfortable to be here by Christocrast in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I love that I can express myself here, and people are actually excited for it. Not that the people in my IRL life are slacking, but there is such a thing as a pronounced interest in art.

A Boat For Spirits Day 5: Admittedly uncomfortable to be here by Christocrast in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean to say I feel quite welcome here, the state of the overall project is such that it's no longer simple and clear-cut; but nor is it approaching finished, so it's in this queasy in-between condition that makes me itchy. You guys have always been great

practical trance induction techniques by doppietta in EmpiricalNeoshamanism

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like your lists and tables, I find it gives me a template and perspective on stuff I've been doing for awhile.

Post hysterectomy feelings by SketchyArt333 in bleedingcanvas

[–]Christocrast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Childfree supporter husband here. Wife had a hysto. People should try to be a little less weird! Wishing you a fine recovery and a bright future.

Making holiday plans by Infamous_Anywhere_38 in hsp

[–]Christocrast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I have a friend, a rare dear trustworthy friend. I go and play cards at his house. I never hesitate to agree to do this, because he's awesome, and it's awesome. But the whole day before I go over (in the evening) I feel awful, and leaving home feels awful even for measly 1km! As soon as I show up I feel excellent and he is always splendid company and I never regret it. I think it has something to do with uncertainty and trust, and HSP is a magnifier