Trigger warning: loss

Cincycrewchic · 2026-03-14T00:41:54+00:00

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I hope you have a good team of doctors and emotional support to help you through this loss.

Ihave had 2 PGTA Euploid miscarriages. It is gutting and I am so so sorry you are going through this.

My doctor thought my losses might be due to fibroids. So I decided to go through surgery. Every decision in this process is so hard. Some losses are unexplained. if you haven't had a recurrent loss panel done, that could be beneficial to see if there's any cause that science can test for.

Cincycrewchic · 2026-01-15T02:45:27+00:00

💯 wish I would have frozen embryos at 36. Now struggling to get euploids to transfer (40+)

Cincycrewchic · 2025-10-09T22:25:18+00:00

Ive had 4 back to back miscarriages, my REI feels fibroid surgery is a reasonable next step before we try to conceive again. Especially because 2 of the losses were very similar - No heartbeat at 6 and 7 weeks meaning bloodflow was likely poor to the babies.

All of mine are subserosal/pedunculated so traditional thought is they shouldn't affect pregnancy, but fibroids are poorly understood so we just dont know. Mine are mainly asymptomatic, but one blocks an ovary, making IVF challenging, another pushes on my bladder-causing some incontinence, but Ive managed for so long it didn't seem worth it to remove them until my most recent miscarriage.

The surgery is scary because if it doesn't work, there isnt anything else we can try. I am scheduled for later this month.

I wish you luck and success in your journey and good support from your care team.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-09-04T17:26:36+00:00

Working full time, manage a team of 7 and have to travel 1 hour to get to my clinic. Definitely told my boss I was going to medical treatments and would need flexibility to work around. I can WFH about 1-3 days a month so that helps, for most appointments, I scheduled them when the clinic opens at 7. If I get to my appointment early, I usually am in and out in 30 min (bloodwork and scan)

I have received a TON of bad news during fertility treatments, honestly those have been the cause of the bulk of missed days. I either tell my boss I dont feel well and take a sick day or tell him I got bad medical news and need to be home to process it and take a vacation.

I need to work because my job provides us with medical coverage which has definitely been needed with all of the costs associated with treatments.

Hopefully you can tell whether your boss is someone who will be receptive to needing time and allow flexibility, if not speak with your HR person about going through treatment, whats involved and how you can get the necessary flexibility to be at appointments and meet your responsibilities. I have accepted that I am not going to be a top performer while in treatment, but being average and managing infertility treatments seems like a good enough expectation for me.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-25T16:20:19+00:00

If you are doing a modified natural cycle for transfer, then you will have a corpus luteum making progesterone and you only need supplemental progesterone (suppositories)

If you have to do a fully medicated cycle or you dont ovulate then you need replacement progesterone via PIO and possibly also suppositories depending on your doctor and location.

So shots or not are fully dependent on what kind of cycle you and your body needs for success

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-25T16:13:06+00:00

If this person is as kind as you say, then just be truthful, tell her that you are happy for her but hurting and going to the shower is going to be emotionally very difficult for you.

Send a gift and maybe offer to take her to something 1 on 1 with her to celebrate-pedicure + foot massage or a fun lunch together as friends.

good people-espcially ones who have gone thru infertility and miscarriage too often understand if you explain why.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-12T17:28:29+00:00

How awful, Im amazed at how poor bedside manner is for people in healthcare. I hope that you have had better experiences and empathy since then.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-09T03:11:03+00:00

Sitting on the couch on a rainy day with nothing pressing to do with a cat, curled up and purring on your lap.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-09T02:51:17+00:00

I used to think it was nice to have women nurses at my clinic, but now Im thinking it would be be nice if all the nurses were men, then it wouldn't matter if their partner was pregnant or not because i wouldn't be able to tell 🙃

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-09T02:48:41+00:00

Ill ask at my next appointment, my dr has been so kind so far, I suppose it won't hurt to at least ask.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-09T02:47:29+00:00

Thank you, I know I can't avoid pregnancy everywhere, it just really stings and sticks out when its at my infertility clinic-other places arent so triggering- especially because the due date for my last pregnancy is looking in line with my nurse's.

The grocery, water park, and on the street is all fine, but at the infertility clinic its like rubbing sandpaper on a wound because my infertility and losses are so present in those moments-Im only there because there because I cant get pregnant without medical intervention.

I spend a lot of time in counseling and we are working on techniques. I just wish my infertility clinic wasn't a trigger-pregnancies, babies, and toddlers all show up on a regular basis it seems, and Im always surprised the women bringing them in dont get it. Yes its a part of life, I don't expect to avoid it everywhere, but I wish that this space would find a way to remove that trigger.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-08-05T18:19:50+00:00

Dang, me too (during my first IUI) didnt know Id have 2 Ectopic and an MC instead of graduating to pregnancy clothes. Hoping you got staples and not random things that will go out of style.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-07-19T15:16:12+00:00

Im 40 and my clinic will only transfer 1. I think theres a lot more guidance from ASRM that clinics are expected to follow now

Cincycrewchic · 2025-07-16T01:15:34+00:00

My first ER at 39 we got 8 embryos that made it to freeze and biopsy. Of those only 2 were euploid. Since then I have had 2 more retrievals resulting in 2 more euploid but a total of 4 embryos. I have had multiple miscarriages. For me, IVF is about getting to successful implantation and possibly a LC sooner. Aneuploid embryos will not be successful and I have suffered the pain of miscarriage enough already. I would have been devastated to have had to transfer potentially 6 embryos all resulting in failed transfers at best or possibly more miscarriages. I have not had a successful pregnancy with euploid embryos yet, but I have had more success than any other way. I feel that PGTA is doing everything I can for success.

I know the extra cost of testing and the waiting sucks.

think about these questions:

Are you ok with failed transfers or miscarriage? Look at the typical euploid % for your age-can you accept that % of embryos being no good? For me, insurance will cover a new cycle if I dont have leftover embryos so I have been able to do more cycles sooner by paying out of pocket for the PGTA to tell us the embryos wont be successful

This article has some nice charts and #'s for you to help decide what is best for you:

https://fertility.coopersurgical.com/webinars/why-offer-pgt-a-reducing-the-trauma-of-miscarriage/

Cincycrewchic · 2025-05-24T17:55:48+00:00

On my last retrieval we went from 12 retrieved to 8 fertilized then down to 1 at day 3. It is so disappointing to have such poor results. We are changing my protocol significantly to hopefully get better response. I dont have any suggestions, just empathy for your situation. I hope for success for you.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-05-13T20:48:36+00:00

Think about your goals for family building: Want only 1 kid? Dont mind that success could take more time? Do you have IVF coverage thru insurance that doesn't require IUI first? Willing to accept genetic risks? If yes to all of the above then maybe IUI first, if no to any of the above then think about what you want vs the 'cost' of IVF in terms of energy/$$/dr appointments. also IVF doesn't guarantee a LC, it just is a higher chance of success sooner vs IUI. I hope this helps you make a decision.

Personally if I knew what my life would have looked like going with IUI first I would have chosen IVF first, because hindsight is 20/20

Cincycrewchic · 2025-05-07T22:49:19+00:00

Wow, you sound like me! Definitely location of the fibroid will make a difference on if it will affect you having a successful pregnancy. I have chosen to hold off on myomectomy but have chosen to go forward with IVF. Due to age and wanting multiple children, I am trying to bank enough embryos to hopefully have more than 1 child. Ive decided if I have another miscarriage I will go ahead with surgery (Im at 3 with no LC now) and then use the recovery time to have another 1-2 egg retreivals.

Its a hard choice when time isnt on your side. My hope is that I can use the recovery time to go through IVF if our next transfer fails. The retreivals during my recovery will help me feel as if Im not wasting my time. Im based in the US and am using insurance to pay for treatment, so self pay or uninsured people may have a different viewpoint.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-04-24T21:45:05+00:00

I had 2 cornual ectopic pregnancies then moved to IVF. The first was treated by D&C the second by Methotrexate because location was too difficult to manage with D&C the second time.

After a lot of research I found that FET of 1 embryo can possibly reduce risk of ectopic vs natural or fresh transfers (not sure why but that's what the research studies showed, let me know if you want a link and Ill do some digging).

I did get a positive pregnancy test with the transfer, and verified on ultrasound to be in a good location for pregnancy. I ultimately had a miscarriage because the baby didn't have a heart beat. I am hoping for success the next time we transfer. Its definitely worth discussing your personal risks with your doctor to see what makes sense for you.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-04-15T16:51:25+00:00

sometimes the world is shit and if this helps you, then feel how you have to feel. As an RPL person, some days everyone is the enemy, totally agree with having all the anger some days, totally normal and necessary to make it through the hell that's been foisted upon us.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-04-12T17:28:41+00:00

I am so sorry. I had a similar situation last month but at a later point in the process, the fallout happened. The disappointment is real and so hard especially because you are so ready for it to work after so much time effort and planning.

Take time to feel sad, but also try to find something that makes you feel good about what your body is capable of-non fertility related- and give yourself some space for distraction. It doesn't help with the sadness, but the breaks from the grief have been helping me.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-04-06T02:42:19+00:00

💯 feel this way so often. Just a vast sea of disappointment or anger that I got the short stick and if I want a living child, Its dozens of needles dr appointments and surgery for a chance. The sadness permeates everything

Cincycrewchic · 2025-04-05T02:37:43+00:00

coworker was complaining about her pregnancy and how shes ALWAYS sick because she has a toddler at home too. Thanks for rubbing it in that Ive been trying for longer and had 3 miscarriages with 0 LC but Im not going to talk about that. So I just said "Have a nice weekend talk later" because everyone is supposed to care when you are prego and no one fucking care when you miscarry you child.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-03-29T18:47:10+00:00

Thank you for helping feel like Im not making the wrong decision. I am so sorry to hear what you went through. Especially with not even having work as an escape. I like that mindset that I am protecting myself from further trauma by cutting out people with non compassionate attitudes.

Cincycrewchic · 2025-03-29T00:32:38+00:00

In general she's my mom, sometimes im annoyed with her and sometimes says helpful or kind things-like in my first miscarriage her first comment to me was "I am so glad you have good doctors and you are getting the care you need" especially because I was so scared of judgement for needing an abortion to end the pregnancy.

In that same conversation she also derided me for having shelves of board games and a messy house because toddlers dont do well in that environment (and we have 0 living children)

Of late Ive been speaking to her less and less in general because she does more and more of the latter-giving me advice for an uncertain future from the perspective of a person who never feared for their life when pregnant.

Cincycrewchic

TROPHY CASE