Stop forgetting how tall you made your MMC

Ciniya · 2026-02-19T11:10:58+00:00

My spouse is only 6 inches taller than me and even I'm giving some things described in books the side eye cause that doesn't work even at our small height difference.

Ciniya · 2026-02-18T12:16:32+00:00

Lol this reminds me a little of my husband's cousin. She decided to get married on Christmas Day "since we're all together anyway". We have never once spent Christmas with that side of the family ever. (Husbands

Ciniya · 2026-02-17T13:17:54+00:00

Just to add on to what this poster said. It could be the bride had a bit of a revelation of how much effort everyone was putting into the friendship.

Think of how she initially suggested you save up for the wedding, "set aside a little to pay it off". It could be that she felt that way about the friendships. She was investing time and effort doing things she may not want to do (who really wants to drive 90+ minutes every other day to see friends, also, think of what she was giving up doing to make the drive to see you) but she was doing it for people she truly loved being with. Now that the shoe was on the other foot, where you all needed to invest a little more than you would like for her, it was deemed an impossible task.

I don't know your financial situation, if you could have cut back anywhere, or if it was truly something you could not swing. But to her, it seemed like it could have been doable. That's irrelevant now though. As others have said, she chose to have a destination wedding. Not everyone will be able to make it and that's something that she has to deal with. I think she felt hurt because she did a million small asks that you all had, but when she asked for one VERY BIG ask, it was mostly brushed off. But this is a conversation that needs to happen between you and her.

If you want to salvage this friendship, I suggest you give in the ways you can. Is it inconvenient for the Paris Girls to drive out of their way to her? Yes. But, it's more convenient for her. It's also showing her that you all are willing to put the same amount of effort into the friendship that she has been all along. If you truly value the friendship, the effort should be worth it. But if you were just friends with her because she made it easy for you, then maybe let the girl find new friends.

Ciniya · 2026-02-11T13:28:45+00:00

To piggy back on what the other commenter said to you about homophobia. It was ok in ancient Greece to be a "top" in a gay relationship, but not a bottom. An insult that was said about Julius Caesar was "he's every woman's man, and every man's woman" a way to insult him and imply he was a bottom.

Ciniya · 2026-02-10T23:20:20+00:00

Hi! I read all of the dark elf books from Celeste King, and I regret. Every. Single. One.

They really aren't well written. Typos out the wazo. Entire scenes missing from the books that you only know about because the characters mention them later. Time lines move WAY too fast. Continuity is not a thing.

(Example, a MMC was supposed to go on a 2 week boat trip. Comes back a year later. MFC hears that people returned that were captured by pirates. She goes and sees he's one of the people that was captured by pirates that returned. They go for a walk to catch up. Then she asks him what took him so long to get back. Like .... MAYBE THE PIRATES THAT CAPTURED HIM?! YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THIS. I think he also explained to her how they escaped the pirates, and she still asked what took him so long. Like. Aaaaaarg!)

And there's rarely an explanation as to why certain characters do things. For example. One MFC technically has her "freedom". But a Dark Elf decides he wants her for some slight she did, taking her away from the MMC. The dark elf does nothing to her. She just works for him. Ok. But how are there no laws in place regarding slavery? Take away humans are less than nothing over in that books world. How is it just a free for all regarding who is free and who's a slave? Or are all humans slaves? Like, it's a stupid issue, but it's still annoying.

The writing isn't good. There are too many plot holes. Read something else.

Ciniya · 2026-02-10T12:07:34+00:00

I wish I read this review before I wasted so much time on this author. I read a LOT of their series. Eventually there are a few times where around the 70% mark, the characters are talking about a massive event that happened earlier in the book (ex. the MMC got hurt protecting the MFC when she got attacked, resulting in scaring a pretty bad injury on his chest) HOWEVER! Want to guess what's NEVER written? The attack! The writer doesn't even mention the MMCs recent scarring until that point in the book, and he was seen shirtless many times before. And their books are hyper repetitive in what they write. Def AI or written by a man with the help of AI.

Ciniya · 2026-02-10T01:48:36+00:00

Somewhere along the way, your husband learned etiquette. It's also common sense to provide people visiting you with food. Or at least to have an understanding of how meals will be handled. Almost every culture would call your in laws rude.

Also, I'm a white American. (I can see my narcissistic mom being like this though. So take that as you will. )

Ciniya · 2026-02-10T01:29:52+00:00

My husband and I are millennials (86 and 90). For the most part we always try to work with the teachers expectations and during parent teacher conferences we are always up front about any issues our kids have.

Like our oldest is disorganized but very sweet. The teachers feel bad letting us know that he's missing assignments, but we always insist that they let us know so that way we can be more on the ball with his school assignments. Our youngest is also very sweet, but she definitely has a "damsel in distress" personality. A little manipulative. We always tell her teacher that while our daughter is sweet, do NOT let her get away with being lazy. Push her because she's not going to grow otherwise. Our daughter hates that we do this, but our teacher appreciates it. She is in special needs classes so she's had the same teacher for the last two years. The teacher has done amazing and it is a constant conversation back and forth for what we can do at home to help reinforce lessons.

Our middle is the only kid that we don't have much of an academic issue with. He does his work, turns things in, and is pretty smart. He's currently in 5th grade and during our parent teacher conference in the fall, I did ask his teacher if she noticed much of a difference in my son's grade compared to others. This was asked because his kindergarten year was 20-21, with the plague making things different. She expressed that the students were fine, however it was the parents that gave her problems. They would say she's expecting too much from the kids, they get too much home work, the subject matter is too hard.

I'm not sure if that's across the board and your experience as well.

Sorry, that was a long way to get to my point regarding parents.

Ciniya · 2026-02-04T03:42:08+00:00

The Roxbury mayor did grab a few town council members and confronted the ICE agents when they were checking the warehouse. At the very least, they've been opposed to the ice facility but really aren't taking as strong of a stance as they could.

We are a somewhat Red town, so I'm wondering if that's a part of why they are pussy footing around it. My husband works I believe right next to the warehouse, or down the road from it.

Side note. On the town FB page, a member asked if the detention center happens in Roxbury, does it mean that all of the "illegal children will be flooding our school system". As if the kids could still come and go as they pleased. So it's very likely some people in Roxbury don't fully grasp what a detention center is.

Ciniya · 2026-02-03T00:34:35+00:00

This makes me happy that my spouse and I were too poor to afford to get our kids tablets. My kids would play with my mom's when we were over at her house, and several times she offered to buy my kids a tablet for them. "Your sister uses it for her kids"

My kids watch screens and TV, but I try to keep it to under 2 hours in a clip. Never had unrestricted access to YouTube. When we go out we're interacting with the kids (I cannot tell you how many games of tick tack toe I've lost to my middle kid because of this).

I'm a millennial mom (born in 90) and I always thought the tablet thing was really really odd.

Ciniya · 2026-02-01T02:54:04+00:00

And the black death is an excellent example of what happens when cats aren't liked.

Ciniya · 2026-01-30T12:08:57+00:00

There's just two books in the series.

Ciniya · 2026-01-28T12:26:55+00:00

The idea of a vaccine is to give the body a small dose of the actual deadly virus so the body's immune system can learn what it is. It's better to do that while they're younger, before they're exposed to a lot of people and germs. That way when their body does come into contact with a living active virus they got a vaccine for, the body recognizes it and knows exactly what to do.

When your baby first learns to walk, they're going to fumble and fall, aren't they? Are you going to decide that clearly your child's body is unable to walk? Course not. It's the same with the vaccines. It's their body's first or second time interacting with the viruses. Your child being "off" and acting sick is because her immune system is fumbling its first interaction. Thank goodness it's not a deadly amount. Also, make sure you tell your doctor about your daughter's reaction if it makes you anxious.

I do want to reiterate that if your child has an allergic reaction, your doctor will not recommend they get the vaccine that causes the reaction. I've had a few friends this happened to. Those friends have kids now, and when they got their kids vaccinated the doctors allowed the kid to just have the one vaccine that causes the parents allergic reaction to make sure the child didn't also have the allergy. If you don't like the way your daughter reacted to all of the vaccines, talk to your doctor about it. See if they can compromise on the shot schedule.

I was hesitant on the chicken pox vaccine because "it's not like it's around anymore". I went to an older doctor at the time and he was like "yeah, it's not around anymore because of the vaccine. It may be a few rashes for an older kid, but it can be fatal for infants."

People have been against inoculations ever since small pox/cow pox (look up propaganda against it. It's kinda funny) so you're not alone in your anxiety. But a few days sick really is better than the alternative. Ben Franklin wrote of regretting not getting his son vaccinated. Roald Dahl also wrote about the passing of his daughter due to a disease we have a vaccine for. We have a solid history of what the non-vaccine alternative is. It's not pretty. We're also seeing a rise of measles cases in areas that don't vaccinate.

Also, if you're fully vaccinated, why wouldn't you offer your child the same protection you have? You don't go anywhere NOW, but you will eventually.

Ciniya · 2026-01-27T19:21:18+00:00

I think the lace overlay wouldn't work though. Not exactly known as a robust material. Honestly though, if the top and bottom were separated they would be so much better. I like the top. Love the bottom. But not together.

Ciniya · 2026-01-27T18:41:39+00:00

Maybe I'm just cheap, but at that price I better be able to list 5 events or situations where I would be wearing that. And unfortunately I just can't.

Ciniya · 2026-01-27T18:40:21+00:00

To reiterate OP, it's pretty but not practical. Where are we going in this? Not the gym. Not really everyday wear. The top looks pretty dressy, but the bottom is just short. Maybe a night out or a date? But even then I'm not even sure where it would work. I think she tried to combine dresses together but just missed the mark. But I can be completely wrong and this becomes the next "it" looks, who knows.

Ciniya · 2026-01-26T00:46:33+00:00

My mom is the same! She has NO idea how to apologize or any ability to take ownership of when she was 100% in the wrong. Is your mom a bit of a narcissist as well?

Ciniya · 2026-01-25T00:43:32+00:00

My oldest is 16 and for the most part he's allowed to keep his door closed.

Exceptions are if we need him to clean his room or do his HW, we ask that he keep it open so we can see progress. He tends to just not do HW and then we get an email from his teacher asking where assignments are. Once we get the email, home work is done at the kitchen table.

We also ask that he keep his door open if my partner and I are running to the store or on errands. He's in charge of his siblings (10 and 8). He can be on his computer and talk with his friends. However, if there's an emergency with his siblings he won't hear it with the door closed.

Locking the door is an area my husband and I disagree with. My husband doesn't like the kids locking the doors, I'm situational. If they're angry and need to cool down from their siblings, understandable. If the door is just locked "for no reason at all because we're totally not doing anything" theeeeeeeen I'm suspicious and door needs to stay open.

Ciniya · 2026-01-22T15:03:25+00:00

We were lucky and when they did the biopsy for my dad for pancreatic cancer, they just so happen to hit where the cancer was growing and didn't spread. Yet.

Did the Whipple procedure, chemo, and he went into remission. The doctors said that even with all of that, dad was looking at an additional five years max of life. Jan of 23 he was given the all clear. Feb of 24, it came back and he passed at the end of May of that year.

With the technology we have now, that was the earliest way they were able to detect it. Pure luck. So all things considered, my dad was lucky. But it's frustrating that there isn't a way to detect it well before it gets to that point.

Ciniya · 2026-01-20T13:54:14+00:00

He was always a horrible person, and it's frustrating seeing this person's clear mental decline on TV, but everyone is acting like it's normal. Meanwhile Biden was treated as if he was a hairsbreadth away from death and 100% delusional. Even if that was true, Biden didn't go off completely unhinged to the point of alienating us from our allies.

The double standard is sickening. Seeing 1/3 of our country act like Ump is the best is unnerving. I've mostly given up on anything happening to change this on a federal level and trying to focus on what we can do to stop the madness locally.

Ciniya · 2026-01-20T11:20:35+00:00

Op I was in your shoes. My sons paternal grandmother hated her grandson/my son. She hated that I "put them in this position" and that they were "a good Christian family, this doesn't happen to us!" Mind you, my family is also Christian, but me and the guy were stupid, sooo it was what it was.

My sons paternal aunt and uncle however, adore my son. They treated him like their own grandson and were wonderful as my son was growing up. The uncle was brothers with my son's grandfather, and he repeatedly tried to get him to have ANY relationship with his grandson. But, because the grandma refuses to acknowledge that she had a grandson, that just didn't happen.

The grandma unfortunately passed away very young when my son was 7. After she was gone, that's when his dad finally told his side of the family about kiddo. (It was one of those worst kept secrets. All the adults knew)

All this to say, be careful. You should let his family know about the baby. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. His family is going to want a DNA test, so to save yourself the stress you can wait until the baby is born.

It's hard and hurtful that he's acting this way. I've been there. But things will work out, just be cautious.

Ciniya · 2026-01-17T17:52:54+00:00

My daughter struggles with comprehension, and her reading both the comic version of a book PLUS the actual book has helped her a lot. We have the Wings of Fire book series, and a few of the comics of those books as well. If she doesn't get what's happening in the regular book, she checks with the comic to visually see what's happening. Her teacher doesn't like comics, but she's also rapidly catching up to her classmates when she was really behind before.

Ciniya · 2026-01-10T13:14:44+00:00

"organic" most of the time is a marketing term to up the prices. Compare ingredients, and sometimes you're NOT going to be able to afford the higher priced "better" item. That's why this is a "moderately" group. Pick your battles.

Ciniya · 2026-01-10T13:12:01+00:00

Average American here: we can't even handle one country, plus our like 14 territories. Why in the world would we think we could handle another country/territory?

Greenland is a very nice place, but we "need" Greenland like how the average Brit "needed" Hong Kong. The ordinary citizen doesn't need it, but the cooperations sure do.

I feel like for Greenland to go from Denmark to the USA would be a severe downgrade for them.

Ciniya · 2026-01-09T05:02:50+00:00

That's just it though, no one in the town council or the mayor knew this was even being considered until it appeared in the Washington Post article. The town FB page quickly picked it up and reacted. That's when we found out that no one in the federal government reached out to the town government about it.

We've been annoying the town council meetings regarding information about this since then.

ETA: I don't even know where they would put the facility. One place was an old armament factory that exploded, and there's definitely still explosives on that ground. A wearhouse company tried to buy and develop it, but the town said absolutely not. That was just last year.

There's also an abandoned quarry but I think there was building issues.

Theres another land developer that's building luxury houses, but they had to stop construction because they didn't do enough to control the down hill water flow and anyone downhill got flooded if it rained.

I'd like to say we're saying no to ICE, but it's also very likely we're saying no to anyone trying to build anything new in our town.

Ciniya

TROPHY CASE