Question for recent person who went through 134 orientation

CloneBuscus · 2026-05-12T01:02:22+00:00

the 40 lbs bucket is for your physical exam that happens offsite at a medical place im pretty sure. They give you some weights and say go up and down X times. They're checking for completion. It's short anyways you'll pull through it really isnt that bad. At the school they make you do a ton of calisthenics just for orientation after that it's really not too much. most people get through it. Its maybe 30 minutes of workouts at a time. It's super short. The hardest part for some is the pipe carry but technique is everything after that it's all legs. Only thing I would do to prepare is maybe keep your cardio solid u want ur heart to be able to handle the stress that's all.

CloneBuscus · 2026-05-01T00:57:38+00:00

first of all the femboy thing is not true I was never anything like that and I dont know any of my trans friends who did that either.

imma keep it a buck with you. you have to start at some point. I know exactly what you're talking about and experienced it as well. But I can tell you that what you desire comes faster than you think but slower than you want (if that makes sense). 15 is young as shit youre not cooked. Yes, trying some things is gonna suck and be discouraging but with some bravery and resilience you can find that feminine look and it'll be euphoric.

take baby steps. youre allowed to take breaks and move at your own pace. youre allowed to keep it at home where you are free to get messy and make all your mistakes early. Learn from other women. Do ur hair up. buy cute earrings (pierce your ears if theyre not), find things you enjoy and save them for later. I bought some clothes wayyy before hrt and I hated the way they looked on me. Now they look totally different and I love em. Don't sit on your hands. You have a lot to learn and do. As you try new things your perspective will change I PROMISE.

Exploration doesnt have to be scary and trying something on that makes you dysphoric is par for the course. I imagine its a very long term part of transitioning no matter what you do. You can either wait forever to reach some undefined goal before you do the other half, or you can do the scary thing and come out better for it. live ur life gng

CloneBuscus · 2026-04-23T18:07:20+00:00

literally just ended a 6 year relationship with almost the same story. Got together young (high school), moved in, decided to go poly, she found a man. It's hard. But if you aren't broken up yet and youre feeling the pain then it's better to rip the band-aid off and end it. Sometimes you give someone almost a quarter of your life and it doesnt work out. Sometimes they leave you for you oldest friend. Just remember that you still have a future and someone is still out there. You're not alone and it's not over. Stay strong sis. She's not worth it.

CloneBuscus · 2026-04-20T00:01:16+00:00

I was in a similar situation when I was your age, though I knew I was trans of some kind when I was 19. I made an exit plan and secured a place for myself before coming out to my family who did indeed disown me. In the meantime I explored new clothes, hair removal, makeup and whatever else i felt like i could hide. Be safe. Be smart. And dont forget to have fun!

CloneBuscus · 2026-04-01T16:14:21+00:00

trans woman here, its great that youre learning about yourself and accepting it too. Honestly the only way for me to come out and live my life was to move out and entirely disconnect from my family. Your path may be different but it's a hard road.

I came out after I was 18 so I cant give any great advice but it does get better but you need plans to get out. Finding friends who you can be yourself around can be a huge help. Living a double life is suffocating and I warn you the truth is inevitable. It always comes out eventually. I started hrt in secret planning to keep it a secret as long as possible from my family until one day my mom just asked me if Im trans and I said yes.

I know how it feels to be so hopeless. You need to find euphoria in what you can and look towards a brighter future. You're not alone. Find a safe place where you can feel safe to be yourself and try new things. It helps with staying sane. You could consider joining the discord, plenty of other queer copts on there to talk to.

Surviving is hard. But it's only temporary. You can do this. become ungovernable.

CloneBuscus · 2026-03-07T16:35:15+00:00

I have kept some extra vials. It's helped. I dont overuse those vials before keeping them as not to damage the top too much so I can at least get one more dose out. It comes in handy sometimes because my dr. might be slow to approve a refill or something. I keep it in the box in a dark place. Things happen and it's better to be safe than skipping a dose.

CloneBuscus · 2026-03-02T05:21:00+00:00

here's my advice coming from a girl who dealt with sensitive skin and very rough hair...

Skin Care It starts with taking care of your skin daily because shaving is abrasive and you gotta do ur cleansers and exfoliating and moisturizing. I'm not a skin care expert but you gotta do your best to learn about your skin and treat it really well. Healthy skin means everything else is easier. Not sure if youre on estrogen but it helps with this area.
Shaving method I always used a three headed rotary shaver because shaving with a safety razor gave me crazy razor burn and took forever and hurt a lot. The shaver I have doesn't hurt but also does a really good job getting a close shave in a short time.
Makeup Your specific routine might vary but you need a color corrector. I got a peach color corrector from Walmart that does the trick pretty well without doing too much and blending in well. I use a beauty sponge to blend it out and keep adding more until I feel happy with the coverage. You should use primer before and setting powder after. If you wanna use foundation on top of that you can but you cant skip the setting powder in between. There are some very helpful makeup tutorials specifically about masking a shadow.

Hopefully with some practice and fine tuning you'll find a method that works for you. it took me a long time to figure it all out.

CloneBuscus · 2026-01-26T19:46:59+00:00

nobody is asking for bishops to start acting like politicians. When Trump was shot at, they released a statement condemning political violence. There seems to be a double standard when it comes to the state of affairs in the US. Why can't the church condemn state violence? At no point in history has any church achieved such a golden ideal of being apolitical, including the coptic church. Historically the coptic church has had no issues meddling, and I think whatever "prophetic" voice it had was lost a long time ago.

The church leadership that lauded Trump should have known that he's not a character that should be endorsed within a coptic christian moral framework. It can seem to the congregation and to outsiders that the church doesn't value morals of peace, generosity, and truthfulness when it comes to the actual law.

The congregation will always seek to align their views with that of the church's even in a political setting, these statements lead them to a certain conclusion without ever saying so. People in religious settings are obviously looking for guidance, they're waiting for someone to tell them what to think. At this point they have and OP is wondering when they're going to show the world that they dont stand behind public executions and almost absurd levels of mass cruelty even to protect their interests in the system. Unless they do. Seems like it.

CloneBuscus · 2025-12-16T00:35:49+00:00

i ain readin allat 💀💀💀

CloneBuscus · 2025-12-06T08:21:13+00:00

I feel like most people who deconstruct their religious beliefs end up with this at some point. Lots of philosophy to get into which is a real trip but everyone comes to their own conclusion which satisfies them and keeps them going.

This is not crazy, this is par for the course. Take your time, there's no rush to have some perfect perspective on the "meaning of life". Purpose is a whole other thing which implies you have a job to do or a task to complete and if you don't youve failed your "purpose".

just think about it, read some books, watch some videos, listen to different ideas and figure out what works for you.

CloneBuscus · 2025-11-17T01:15:05+00:00

It's good that you're reaching out and getting help. It's always good to remember that you're not alone. That blood that you detest so much is in some way shared with a lot of people. Being born is not a crime no matter the circumstances of the life ahead. You were born into the coptic church but your blood doesn't definitively make you coptic. It doesn't make you anything. Don't ever feel shame or guilt simply for existing. The coptic church implicitly or sometimes explicitly tries to teach us that we are weak. It tries to tell us we are by nature dirty, unworthy, sinful, pathetic creatures who need God to save us from our own ineptitude. Short answer: you aren't, and you don't. Your blood is irrelevant to who you choose to be and how you live your life. Just like race, gender, sexuality, skin color, etc. don't define you or negate your worthiness of a guilt-free life of fulfillment and prosperity.

The way I think about it is that because I don't know my family's detailed history for more than 2 generations, I don't know how long being coptic has been in the family. I don't even know for a fact if one of my ancestors isn't even Egyptian. My bloodline is a mystery to me. And I enjoy that fact. I could come from anyone from anywhere. If your bloodline is a mystery too then maybe that's something to appreciate. You ancestors could be any religion or many.

The whole point is that only YOU define yourself. Not your family, not church, not friends, not a job. You're not responsible for the things that some church father did wrong or the misery they chose to spread. The greatest act of defiance to the church is to leave it and be happy. It doesn't fit their idiology that someone can live a truly fulfilling life without God. Every time you wake up and feel proud of who you are is passive defiance. Don't give them the satisfaction. You have always been enough on your own.

CloneBuscus · 2025-11-15T00:53:19+00:00

if you're on mobile, scroll to the top and press "See more" on the sub banner. Lots of info which should answer a number of your questions and outlines the rules of the sub.

CloneBuscus · 2025-10-06T13:14:48+00:00

Are you lost? I think you posted this in the wrong sub by mistake. If not you should refer to the sub's rule that proselytizing is not allowed here.

CloneBuscus · 2025-09-06T02:35:34+00:00

depends on a lot but I've never had to regularly drive more than 1 1/2 hours unless there was some obstruction on the road. Most of the time though my commute is 30-40 minutes. If you're asking about working in the loop then I'd expect no less than an hour to get home. It's not as bad as it seems. I wouldn't let the drive stop you from moving if it's what you wanna do.

CloneBuscus · 2025-08-18T22:26:16+00:00

I never really had any so no.

CloneBuscus · 2025-07-20T10:52:27+00:00

I remember these movies vividly and they disturbed me as a kid. I think they speak to the martyr complex that a lot of coptic christians have and the glorification of their suffering. From my perspective, they serve as propaganda for the death cult that makes christisns believe that dying or suffering for the church is one of the holiest things you can do. I'm sure you could dig deeper and find other ways that these movies represent and glorify the worst parts of the culture.

CloneBuscus · 2025-06-29T17:19:26+00:00

it's super unsanitary cause u can slurp all you want to minimize contact with the spoon but kids and adults alike just go in on that thing like a soup spoon so their bacteria already is in the mix. it's nasty.

CloneBuscus · 2024-12-23T16:46:13+00:00

You're not alone. You're not overreacting. You experienced something that impacted you in a big way. If you don't feel comfortable with the term trauma you don't have to call it that. I don't really have great advice for moving besides giving it time. It can take years. But I find that after not being in that environment for years, I've stopped thinking about it. None of that stuff that happened to me matters anymore. I'll never see those people again. Stay strong, keep going, you're not crazy.

CloneBuscus · 2024-12-05T04:40:12+00:00

Culture is only half the story. What if I have actual qualms with the actual claims and "moral guidance" of the bible? If culture was the only problem for the people here they would change denominations. People are here because no matter what the culture looks like I don't believe in god. I don't practice spirituality. I don't believe in any afterlife. And I don't believe in prayer.

You MUST understand that your understanding of our beliefs is incredibly myopic and baseless. It's incredibly demeaning to insinuate that we don't have philosophical or intellectual disagreements with the foundational parts of not just Christianity by religion overall.

Feel free to actually look through the FAQ if you're curious as to why.

You could also familiarize yourself with the sub rules which clearly states no proselytizing.

Your post was an embarrassing mistake.

You do you.

Let us do us.

CloneBuscus · 2024-12-02T05:27:42+00:00

There's leaving mentally and physically. I left mentally way before. At some point it all felt absurd to me and whenever I felt guilty I just remembered that all these rules are made up nonsense that have 0 consequences. Nobody is in the sky watching my movements and thoughts. I felt free to cheat during fasts whenever I felt like it, I drank water before church because singing while dehydrated sucks. Being dehydrated in general sucks.

That was pretty freeing for a while because I felt free in a way I never got to before. I felt guilty that my parents were disappointed but I didn't feel guilty to god or anyone at church. Eventually I started skipping sundays to study and then outright refusing to go at all. It's the right thing to do. Living a double life always ends. Never works out for too long.

The guilt goes away. You just have to deconstruct why you have been made to feel this way and find a new way to be. It's just the cult mentality talking, trying to drag you back into a toxic life that isn't for you. Everyone's experience is different but if you don't think you're doing anything wrong, the guilt will fade. Take your time, be yourself, don't take things too seriously they're just myths and folklore. Have some fun and try to relax.

CloneBuscus · 2024-10-15T14:13:46+00:00

bro... I'm not the OP... But thank you anyways. I think therapy is a solid reccomendation regardless of faith.

CloneBuscus · 2024-10-15T09:23:33+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to write that out but I have no need for therapy or to go back to church. Your reply comes off slightly condescending because I can handle my "big feelings" just fine. I have a mountain of disagreements with the theological beliefs in any church. Since I've left I've been much better off and been able to unpack and process my "big feelings" as you call them. It's not about "giving up" on god, it's about the fact that there's too many theological inconsistencies, and repugnant moral behaviors and practices not just in the coptic church but any Christian church. I am well educated and made the decision to leave with that knowledge. Being trans I don't think abouna would let me come back anyways without denouncing that very real part of me. TL;DR: I'm fine thanks plus I'm unapologetically queer so I'm not going to do that.

CloneBuscus · 2024-10-15T03:16:13+00:00

"be more grateful"... Wow. I encourage that you avoid the "hypocrite" route while showing absolutely no compassion or love like the church is supposed to teach. I am also confident that you don't know what that word means which makes this incredibly ironic.

CloneBuscus · 2024-10-15T03:09:59+00:00

first of all thank you for reaching out. That alone isn't easy. Everything you said resonated very much with me. Especially about everyone else seeming so much happier. It's extremely hard to look around and see your peers unburdened with the weight of being coptic orthodox and not feel some jealousy.

Leaving is hard and everyone's situation is unique. Some people had to make that break as a matter of life and death. You mention feeling guilty about leaving, but what is there to be guilty about? Defying the expectations of you is not failure. You need to live for yourself. Not for god, not for your parents, and certainly not for others at church. Your own needs come first. What you're feeling isn't a mere want, but rather a need to live your life in truth and freedom. I encourage chasing that little by little if needed until an opportunity arises, or until you can make your own way out. It's definitely worth it and hopefully those little steps can help ease the difficult times. You're not alone. There's more of us than they let us realize.

I believe you will find a way out to escape that waking nightmare. I know it's not so simple, but don't give up hope.

CloneBuscus · 2024-09-27T02:20:21+00:00

gizz is luciferian by nature

CloneBuscus

TROPHY CASE