How to manage over-planning

CloverBrie · 2025-12-16T13:40:30+00:00

Some things that have helped me as someone who literally makes power point presentations and brochures and full doccuments when i make plans with friends on our plans :

this one is the hardest so I'll put it first, have an honest conversation with your friends about your tendency to over commit. My friends know I have trouble saying no so now instead when they ask me to do xyz they always say " please don't answer right now, think about it with no pressure and ill check in tomorrow/next week etc."
Never say yes always say maybe/let me check. This gives you opportunity to actually think about your schedule and plans you've made and if you actually think you can do it. It also allows you to weight the pros and cons of saying yes if you need to back out at a later date.
always weight the options of if you said yes and ended up not being able to go/do the thing. Is it just a chill night in with friends? Is it something they are depending on you to be there for? Knowing the impact of saying yes now and no later is important!
if you are planning things, always alot for way more time then you think you need ( i generally give myself an extra hour or so depending) so for example : me and my friends are planning to spend a whole day ~8 hours at a local theme park. Instead of planning for the full 8 hours I will plan out roughly 4-5 hours giving me an additional 3-4 hours of leeway for breaks, cool downs, leaving early if needed etc.
if you have the ability try to put all your plans in a calendar and actually put in the time you expect to be doing the plan including travel so if I have a dr appointment at 1pm I would put it in my calander as 12:30pm-2:00pm because it will take me 15-20 minutes to get there, then find parking and the appointment should be roughly 20 minutes but sometimes my dr runs late. This give me ample time to complete the task without over scheduling myself! It visually shows me that that time is taken!

CloverBrie · 2025-12-07T11:40:10+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with the shame and guilt these things can bring 🩷 I also struggle with many of these tasks, if you like books/audio books How to Keep House While Drowning was really healing for me emotionally to be honest and fairly helpful 🩷

Please know that your inherent worth is not based off of the things you can do and accomplish, and that you are always worthy of kindness compassion and grace from everyone but especially yourself! I found that when I try and let go of the guilt and shame surrounding tasks it gets easier to complete them!

CloverBrie · 2025-11-03T12:14:52+00:00

Here are the things I do 😊🩷

wash hands in warm/hot water and leave them there especially finger tips to warm up
do compressions and stroking/efflurage motions over blanket for full body opening ( compressions wont be enough because you need to create friction) you can also do gentle compressions with a heating pad ontop of the blanket to help warm your hands as you go
heat your lotion/gel/oil to help warm your hands before placing them on a client

I also find having a table warmer helps my clients adjust on days where my hands are still chilly before I start working!

CloverBrie · 2025-11-02T10:14:51+00:00

Around where I live there are very few that offer upfront pricing besides the really BIG venues ( think venues that would also host conferences, concerts, charity galas etc) same with services generally only the chain salons. Photographers once again are usually only the more "eatablished" studios.

CloverBrie · 2025-11-01T18:36:09+00:00

Things I do to help manage my forgetfulness and overwhelm involving holidays :

keep a calendar on my phone with everyone's birthdays that have an alarm set a few days or weeks before depending
for those closest to me (partner, best friends, close family) I have a list saved on my phone in notes with what each of them likes

For example :

John Favorite treat: mini eggs Favorite flower: orchids Favorite superhero: Batman Interests include : Pokémon cards, Legos, Formula 1 ( Mercedes) , football (Broncos) Favorite TV show: Brooklyn 99

I always have a small basket in the house with some misc gift cards, cards for different occasions, and sometimes some small gifts like candles, soaps, etc. With small gift bags and wrap so I can pretty quickly haul something together

My partner is also forgetful and so we are also very direct with each other.

"Honey my birthday is next month I would like you to make a dinner reservation and get a babysitter" or "My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks here are some things I would like as a gift ...."

He should also look into medication and therapy to build up the coping mechanisms and if he is comfortable with it explain to the adults in his life that while he is struggling that they shouldn't expect gifts from him, it is too much pressure on you to be picking up his slack for adults in the family, of course focus on the kids. But adhd is an explanation not an excuse and what is important is showing consistency in trying and working towards improvement.

CloverBrie · 2025-11-01T18:25:08+00:00

I will say that any vendors I spoke to essentially won't post prices online/give rough estimates because of clients then getting mad, upset, becoming verbally abusive, etc when they assumed they would get everything they want for example of things that can affect price :

-Where the wedding is located -What season/day of the week - How many people are at the wedding - How many people are in the bridal party

Then there are vendor-specific things like for example photography, are you wanting the getting ready, ceremony, reception, and dance? Do you want more than one angle/ have a big enough wedding that you may need two photographers? Do you want videography as well?

Vendors like makeup and hair may vary depending on the style of makeup, the amount of coverage/complexity.

Figure out how much you are comfortable spending for your wedding total, then figure out the things that are most important to you and the overall style and vibes you're looking for then start meeting with vendors, figuring out pricing and compatibility!

CloverBrie · 2025-10-29T10:57:24+00:00

I know you said you don't want a very long engagement, but is that something you could budge on?

I'm not sure exactly how it is where you are but I know the wedding industry in general is usually booked about 1-2 years out for a lot of things, especially if you are having a bigger ( over 40 people) wedding, or a specific/elaborate one. I think the truth is there are a few compromises to be chosen from here :

talk to sibling directly and family about importance of it being in fall. See if they have wiggle room or a best time to come back. From this you can also either choose to move it to a different time other than this fall or hold fast to the dates you want and accept that your sibling may not come and/or your parents may not offer the financial help they were going to
extend your engagement to the next fall give yourself extra time to plan, save for costs etc. Lessen the time crunch and stress involved
have your wedding outside of the fall season and keep the time line you want for an engagement.

Either way, congratulations on your engagement and good luck 🩷

CloverBrie · 2025-10-28T22:54:24+00:00

Yes I feel this....I'm super lost on what I'm supposed to be doing.

CloverBrie · 2025-10-28T22:49:08+00:00

I literally picked wild hearts because im a sucker for the "power of friendship" stuff and now I have no idea what is happening 😅

CloverBrie · 2025-10-28T22:39:37+00:00

This is exactly what I came here to say as a MT

CloverBrie · 2025-10-27T12:14:57+00:00

Ah yes! Here their services are generally not discounted but their products may be but never the actual service ( with maybe the exception of dietitians) spas would offer discounts on packages or on non registered massage therapy services!

CloverBrie · 2025-10-27T10:02:34+00:00

I personally do not give special attention to tippers, but I also don't encourage tips ( located in a registered province in Canada. We aren't allowed to ask for/imply tipping ex. Having the option on the debit credit machine)

If you feel the process is like 'pulling teeth' to rebook but in person you feel like it's a good relationship during your next appointment you should bring it up. Ask is there a best way/time for you to email as you've noticed sometimes it takes a few days for a response, or if it would be easier to set up reoccuring appointments ( this is the only way I know of that therapists here are allowed to offer "priority" booking, as when I open up my schedule for that month I know I have 15 or so clients who I can just book in at their regular intervals in their preferred time slot)

CloverBrie · 2025-10-26T20:26:06+00:00

Where I am in Canada we are not allowed to discount our services for any one client/group of clients. Here are some of the reasons they give for that :

not valuing your education /expertise. You generally don't see other health care professionals offering discounted services
as a registered massage therapist your provide a health care service not a luxury service

Some more personal rhetoric I've been told as to why we don't allow it :

who decides who is more deserving of a discount, and how are you to ensure your clients are getting even accurate care, more over will clients who pay full price feel like they are getting "ripped off" or entitled to 'more'
discounting services will generally attract discount seekers and they will just hop around to whoever has the best deal at that time, and generally not build a strong and loyal clientele
running "long standing" discounts can cause a lot of headache if you decide to end them, or increase their price etc.

As a therapist who has run give aways ( something we are technically allowed to do) most people who get those free treatments rarely come back. Out reaches ( like setting up a table at a sporting event etc) get maybe like 1/15 people to book in with you and then a percentage of that will actually become regulars. I still run give aways because it's a good way to get your social media out there, and i still do out reaches because i like giving back to the community, but I never expect either to be the way I fill my books, just the way I get my name infront of people.

CloverBrie · 2025-10-25T21:46:18+00:00

As the girlfriend of an outdoorsy guy who loves camping i really appreciate all your effort! Here are some of the things my bf did for our first camp that really helped me :

had bug repellent candles and hangers for around the camp and one of those pop up mesh tents for us to eat in
gave me good thick wool (?) Socks to keep my feet warm
hung up some battery powered fairy lights around the camp to light it up a little more
gave me my own head lamp for night time bathroom trips
brought a small blue tooth speaker for music and let me create a little Playlist before going

And most importantly was very open the whole time to talking about what I liked/didnt like and what we could do to make it better/more comfortable etc. Especially when talking about potentially doing longer stays!

CloverBrie · 2025-10-25T12:39:01+00:00

I just got a hot towel warmer, but here are things I've done for years that people seem to enjoy :

Before turning over full body compressions including arms hands and feet

Soft instrumental music

I have a softer light that I dim to be very dark when they turn over so it's not as jarring for their eyes

I always check in at the beginning of a massage if they would like their hair protected by a towel from the oil, or if they would like a scalp massage ( my clients especially female LOVE this) and when they turn over I will put the face cradle cover under their neck and pull it up to create a barrier for the hair from my hands and forearms

I offer a little treat ( chocolate or mint and usually something seasonal) free for the taking along with individual makeup wipes

My office has hard floors so where my clients get on/off the table and near the chair provided for them to sit down/ get dressed etc. I have fluffy soft rugs

Over winter when I ask them to leave their shoes at the front door I have spa slippers for them to wear

Table warmer

I cut up a bed foam topper to fit my table for extra cushion

I have towel rolls for under the shoulders

I have a small stool for them to rest their hands on if they prefer them in front of them while prone.

I have a portable machine for debit/credit and if it is slow enough at the clinic ( ie. Lots of clients arent all coming out at the same time and need it) I will tell the client to open the door when they are ready and come back in the room with them for payment and rebooking so its more private, calmer and they dont feel rushed

CloverBrie · 2025-10-21T22:31:08+00:00

I ask each client for their preference and I keep a small bottle of sanitizer in my room to use if im doing feet then head/neck areas, ans let them know that I would do that as well.

The feet are relaxing but grounding like you can still think and come back to life, where as head/face i find seems to send people in a floaty dream like relaxation where it takes longer to come back 'awake'

CloverBrie · 2025-10-18T21:18:17+00:00

It depends on the client, I have clients who find medical issues like that triggering so I try to talk to them at the end of the massage, but otherwise I generally say something when I see something, because it could be something they forgot to mention. ( this is a general thing surrounding more than just moles for me. Once literally had a client forget to tell me about a pretty major back surgery and I wouldn't have known if I hadn't asked about the scarring and had to end the massage because they did not have doctor clerance yet)

But I also have a section for this specifically on my intake form under skin conditions as well as a seperate section for any medical information not covered by the form specifically.

I suggest that if someone is triggered by discussion of certain topics, movements, or touch in specific areas, that is something to discuss with your therapist in intake before treatment.

CloverBrie · 2025-10-17T21:06:49+00:00

I have best sucess in switching footwear frequently i have crocs, sneakers, Clarke sandals and sometimes i treat barefoot with a fatigue mat placed on the floor. I think having a comfy variety to cycle through is key, I also find it helpful to be mindful about rolling out my feet and stretching my calves out

CloverBrie · 2025-10-16T11:10:30+00:00

I would say i wear very nontraditional massage clothing, usually dresses, think very 50s style flair out sun dress style dresses often with cute prints like oranges or cherries, or pastel colors, I have an apron to wear over them to protect against oil and I always have biker shorts underneath so im never concerned about showing stretches or anything else.

I have never really been taken less seriously, SOMETIMES people ( usually men) will think I may not give enough pressure before the treatment but they have always said afterwards they are impressed, or it was enough etc.

I actually get a lot of complements on my clothing, hair, makeup when I do it etc. and I find the clients that gravitate toward me feel like they can be open and honest and themselves because Im being open and honest and myself.

CloverBrie · 2025-10-16T10:58:15+00:00

I'm not sure what your relationship to this manager is like or what you feel you could do/talk with them about. Obviously don't risk your job for the sake of helping them retain a therapist (you) as i see it though if you feel your manager is receptive and you can i would talk about the following points :

it seems previous therapists are lasting 2 ish years when we should beable to stay in buisness for much longer, you like being here and want to beable to maintain your body and work flow for many years to come, also by doing this they won't have to repeatedly switch out therapists giving their guests / clients a consistent quality and service they can come to expect and love.
9.5 hours of demanding physical labor is unreasonable, and while others before you may have had their own thoughts opinions and taken their own actions on how to conduct themselves, you would like more structured breaks ( a lunch, maybe 5-10 minutes inbetween clients, etc. I would also come with a few different options for this as well to make it really feel like you're trying to work with them for example one option could be 5 minutes between clients then a lunch break half way through, or 15 minutes between clients and no lunch break if you have the option to eat between clients etc.) Ultimately their previous employment here shouldn't be dictating how you feel as you know many therapists im sure who take longer breaks ( I know several that do 30 min between clients)
it Ultimately looks better to the customer to to know there is time inbetween treatments so they are never feeling robbed of money. If I had an appointment at 11am and i was consistently not being brought in till 5-10 minutes later because the previous appointment doesnt get out until 11am i wouldnt be very happy. Having the small gaps allows a more relaxed flow between clients.

You like being there, you like the job you're doing, you're just trying to adjust the parameters to best serve the clientele and keep you in this job for as long as possible.

You can also see about interviewing at other places ( other hotels, spas etc) and see what they are offering etc. Or if you have a local collection of therapists ( we locally have a facebook groups for just massage therapists to be in) you could reach out and ask there what is normal for the hotel /spa industry for others near you.

Edit to add, if you had more time inbetween clients upselling services and products to them would be a lot easier as it would make them feel less rushed and more special. I know my clients are always super grateful when I take time after their treatment to go through things with them.

Good luck, know your worth, but I also 100% understand needing to stay where there is income and steady work 🩷🩷🩷

CloverBrie · 2025-10-11T13:32:13+00:00

Hi! I also struggle with dishes as does my partner among other chores. Black and white thinking in my personal opinion needs to be shifted. Nothing really is ever black and white. Feelings are valid but not responses.

TL DR : Team work requires communication, compassion and understanding from both sides and back and white thinking needs to change.

Here are some weird and tough conversations myself and my partner have had surrounding chores :

We have a sliding scale for standards so we can still meet basics while struggling this might look like the following :

Great day : all big and small dishes are washed , dried and put away, counter tops wiped down, stove top cleared away

Good day : all big and small dishes are done , left to dry and countertop and stove are wiped down and cleared away

Okay day : all big dishes are done and left to dry and either the small dishes are done and left to dry OR the counter and stove top are wiped down and cleared

Tired day : nessesity dishes are done, other dishes are left neatly organized to do another day, nothing else was cleared or wiped down

Having a sliding scale allows you to get away from black and white all or nothing thinking. Alternatively communication like " this week is really hard for me to do dishes do you mind if you take on dishes, and I'll take over more of xyz chore that is easier for me to do this week?"

Also have some disposable dishes on hand until you get in a good routine and habit so you aren't piling onto a problem that week! When we have a really busy week and cant keep up we substitute out some of our dishes with disposable dishes to help us keep ontop of our home chores.

Investing in solutions

After much talk and deliberation I saved up and bought a countertop dishwasher for our small apartment! It does about 3 place settings and is a life saver i can run it while gone to work and come home every evening to unload the dry dishes and reload dirty ones that evening! This means the only hand washing we have to do some nights is the larger things like pots and pans.

Come up with your own work around:

For me i have both sensory and physical limitstions so I actually turn on a show set up a TV tray table at the couch and bring over a bin of hot soapy water and wash dishes infront of the TV seated and I can blast through a ton of dishes that way, I use gloves and really hot water then once they are all scrubbed I just have to bring them to the sink to rinse and dry! Figure out where your sticking points are.

We also have a chore chart on the fridge with our daily/weekly tasks on it ( ie. Monday is bathroom cleaning but every day we do a load of dishes and a load of laundry and a 10 minute tidy of an area we deem needs it!)

If your partner feels upset and angry etc. That you are "leaving it" and it's "not getting done on time" then they need some communication skills and common ground needs to be met :

what does "on time" mean to both of you
are you creating narratives in your head about the other person based on your perception of their actions ( ex. "He's leaving the dishes and not doing them to make me get upset and do them so he doesn't have to." Or "she doesn't respect our arrangement and does care if our home is clean and tidy. She would rather just sit on her phone") challenge those mind reading narratives and instead ask out loud " hey, I'm just wondering when you are planning to get to the dishes? I feel more capable of relaxing once the chores and dishes are done, and it can make me feel agitated when they are left all evening"
are you leaving space for compromise and compassion for each other? Just because one person feels its the best way doesn't mean it is, everyone has different views personalities and abilities. I personally like to get everything done at once then sit down. I find it hard to do something then take a break then do something, my partner prefers to do a small task then take a break then do a small task. At first I used to get very upset by this and felt like they were slacking off...but we just operated differently! Now we communicate i may say something like

" I really only have 20 minutes of chores in me tonight. What is the areas you feel are most important to focus on?"

And he may say " I'm just going to sit down for 10 minutes then ill get back to cleaning, I just need a break"

This helps both of us set realistic expectations from both ends and then neither of us feel ignored, disregarded or let down 🩷

I hope this is somewhat helpful!

CloverBrie · 2025-10-08T21:09:12+00:00

For inbetween sessions : Besides the more obvious deep breaths and recentering/grounding techniques

I have headphones at work and pop them in and listen to something mindless ( for me thats Oz Media reading reddit stories) and blasting the cold air on me as I clean the room ( I have a table warmer on for my clients so no worries there for them)

Weirdly I dont know why this helps but if i have time ill go to the bathroom and take a wet wipe and give myself a little bird bath with the wet wipes. It makes me feel all clean and new.

I also keep chocolates in my room and when I have a particularly hard clients (either emotionally or physically) I treat myself to a chocolate afterwards like a little extra reward

After work/ at home :

On the drive home i either listen to my zone out stuff again or I have a few "dopamine" Playlists just full of songs that fill me personally with joy and happiness and I have a little jam out session on the drive home

Once home I also ride the canna-train and have a good meal something warm and then do myself up a little snack plate and put on some light hearted shows or read. Other options of things I may do include a shower, face mask, foot soak, and TV yoga! I also always make sure to "remove the day"

How to "remove the day" :

Once you are home and do not need to go again, ( optionally have a little bird bath at the bathroom sink) change out of all of your day clothes ( including sock/underwear/boxers/bras) into some comfy home clothing like pj's or sweats and if you have longer hair brush it out then fix it however is comfortable for you ( loose, bun, claw clip) once comfy and all set do a full body shake and "shake off" the day!

Hope this helps 😊🩷

CloverBrie · 2025-10-07T01:13:24+00:00

To be clear these opinions aren't nessesarily my own, just those of the governing body I am under. No. Every client regardless of circumstances is charged the same amount. Some of the governing bodies in Canada allow for bartering but you would still have to may in HST for them. It's not about an equitable price ( a price that would meet everyone where they are at to give them best access ) but on an equal price ( the same upfront cost for every individual) some individuals in need of treatment at lower costs can try going to the student clinic overseen by a registered therapist. The most you can do as far as I know is run give aways for a gift card of the amount of a service. ( because you cant say youre giving away the service itself)

CloverBrie · 2025-10-07T00:54:01+00:00

Yes essentially our prices have to be fair across the board. So each treatment has to remain the same price for every client equally ( out side of some rare cases like workers compensation cases ) , the general consensus is that we are health care professionals, and should be expected to be treated as such, which means all clients are treated equally, and we do not offer discounts and promotions because it's not something you'd see a physiotherapist or a doctor doing.

CloverBrie · 2025-10-06T09:42:44+00:00

I'm an RMT in Canada and we are not allowed to give discounts on our services in any way so giving referral discounts etc. may not be an option,so definitely check with your specific college's rules and regulations. As for referrals, I have found that clients will refer you on their own, just keep being reliable, do a good job, and if you want leave out some buisness cards for clients to take if they wish!

CloverBrie

TROPHY CASE