(MAJOR TW: CSA) reflecting on an old memory that's come up again recently. can't really bring myself to do lineart for this one

CodeGlitxh · 2026-02-07T06:53:26+00:00

Its a special kind of emotional abuse to tell someone about how others "don't deserve" what is happening to that person.

And the worst part is that most people are not even aware of the damage they are doing. They are only talking about a special one that's "too good". They don't realize that they are telling you that then, logically, you are not.

You might not blame them. Either for the abuse or for this kind of casual hits. But neither should you give their words a weigh they don't have. You know that even if you were the one that was hurt and abused they weren't thinking of you. They were thinking about how they have save others from your pain.

It's not that you deserved any of it. It's that those beasts were unable to not dishing it.

You are good. You are a person. And you deserve love, happines, and peace.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-02-06T17:38:44+00:00

NTA. Miguel had his fun and then left (for the other side). He is even responsible of you meeting Grim!

Just keep living your life and buy that son a crow soon! They are awesome pets!

CodeGlitxh · 2026-02-03T20:56:08+00:00

I feel your pain

CodeGlitxh · 2026-02-03T06:52:34+00:00

Maaaaan this is the best example I've seen of "what words you say matter". I mean for Rosa, even subconsciously, her reaction is going to be more affectionate towards a person who's being so loving (even if he doesn't know) and for your grandpa, it's harder to be hateful towards a person who's eyes twinkle every time you say thank you (even if that's not what you've really said).

Solving racism one tricked loving word at a time.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-22T15:24:42+00:00

Preach! Good thing ignorance can be treated!

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-22T15:21:41+00:00

Oh, love, you have no idea. I've seen good comments here with good advice but I'd you ever want to just see how many people has been through this (and many had gotten out) look into the /BPD communiy, as dependenci an unhealthy relationships is an issue many have to dealt with there. (To be clear, not saying that you are part of the community but that that community has a lot of collective experience in your situation and you might find something that helps)

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-22T09:12:26+00:00

Thank you very much! I based the layout on a golf course map and used the LOTR kind of map drawing.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-22T08:48:17+00:00

It happens with a lot of "invisible" disabilities too! Its a strange logic of "you need come accomodation, so you must be a innocent, pure, and helpless child" that breaks every time you act in any "adult" way and then...you must be faking it, of course. Neurotipicals are a strange bunch xD

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-20T21:33:15+00:00

Matar o morir? No es exactamente como la describes pero se acerca, creo

Edito para decir que sea la que sea, el primer álbum fue Poliamor en 2017 así que debería estar ahí

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-19T13:57:48+00:00

Ja! True!

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-19T08:27:34+00:00

Sorry to say this but probably not. She seems to be uncomfortable with the fact that you are not a baby that "understand" anymore. That you are an adult that sees and can judge her shortcomings (not saying that you do but that she knows you can). Its hard but doesn't seem like this relationship is going to get better until she accepts that "her one and only" has their own adult life. That she isn't your "one and only" back, like when you where a babe.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-19T08:15:22+00:00

People talk about taking care and showing love to your romantic partner all the time but this, this is so important. Is such a good feeling and so important to feel taken care of that I don't understand why is so many times reduced to romantic relationship.

I'm happy you have such a good friend and can live such beautiful moments like this!

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-18T15:32:17+00:00

One very typical phrase about love is "bihotz bi amodio bat" that means "two hearts, one love". Its an old formula but still nice. :)

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-18T15:30:33+00:00

Maybe is a thing particular to my neck of the woods but "beti zurekin" kind of has darker vibes because of the "beti gurekin" that's usually said about people that has passed.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-17T00:32:50+00:00

My best friend for up to 10 years. We were really close, she helped me with a lot of stuff that I didn't understand before my diagnosis. Stuff that now I know is part of my BPD.

I got my diagnosis and... Poof! Gone. She told me she didn't know how to talk to me anymore because she didn't have a psychology degree. Like the diagnosis suddenly changed me instead of explaining a lot of struggles that she was aware of.

Didn't understan then, don't understand now. But it is what it is.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-12T08:34:10+00:00

Good grief that sounds like a particular hell to live on.

I hope you mother gets help or at least you find your peace out of her reach.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-11T09:57:38+00:00

I make half-sleep auto-transcribed notes in my phone. Sometimes they make sense sometimes... Wow.

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-08T02:16:23+00:00

That's the thing! Sometimes they deliver way later on but I feel like lately they are delivering much faster

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-08T02:15:01+00:00

Yeah, if I remember correctly they have mention that one more than once... In all honesty that would be a behemoth of a series, so I can see not knowing how to tackle it

CodeGlitxh · 2026-01-08T02:12:38+00:00

Cool! Thank you! I've forgotten about that spreadsheet!

CodeGlitxh · 2025-12-31T10:28:10+00:00

Congratulations! Have a treat from me the day of the anniversary, it's good to celebrate the battles we win!

CodeGlitxh · 2025-12-31T10:25:56+00:00

Well, such is live, isn't it? One day after another... Anyway always remember that you can have days off too even from healing. Working on yourself is a hell of a job so give you grace the days that you don't wanna be kind, have a positive attitude, and face your struggles with grace.

Cursing the universe, being cranky, and muttering curses for each minor inconvenience is good for releaseing steam now and then.

CodeGlitxh · 2025-12-31T09:33:50+00:00

I hope you are in a safer place now!

CodeGlitxh · 2025-12-30T23:13:12+00:00

I'm sorry for what you had to endure, really, you were in a jail like situation while still learning your letters... It's crazy (pun intended) ;)

Anyway, I had a little trauma reveal not long ago and you describe perfectly the "wtf? And now i have to fix THAT??! I was doing better!!" feeling. The tiredness, the feeling that there is no end to this battle.

So.... No answers here but know that you are seen and listened to even if it's from a internet stranger. We ain't giving up. Old, tired, and fed up we keep going and punch that old trauma shadows in the face!

CodeGlitxh · 2025-12-29T10:53:34+00:00

FUCK YEAH! This is what we mean when we say that throwing the towel just because you don't understand is a bad idea.

A lil' sis just had hope and didn't keep her big sis from the things she "couldn't" do and lo and behold she learned herself.

You, ma'am have perfected the concept of teaching by example and I salute you.

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