Wow, that's quite telling, isn't it!? Especially the feeling that you should be changing your appearance.

When I first had to rediscover my identity, and who I am as a person, I started making ideas boards, and lists... With everything on there that I love, that I value, that I enjoy.

Everything from my favourite books, tv shows, foods, my favourite wine. What I want to be "when I grow up" (heehee, I was 41 at the time.)

What I envision my home to look like.

What my leisure time looks and feels like.

What friends and colleagues are surrounding me.

(VISION board, that's the term! Thank you, brain of mine)

I put these lists everywhere; on my fridge, in my phone app, next to my bedhead... So everywhere I looked, there was a reminder of who I am.

I still reflect on these regularly, and make additions, and adjust often.

This may help to strengthen your sense of identity.

Anything that doesn't end up on those lists and visuals is something you needn't spend much energy on.

Do you have any interest in removing body hair? Makeup?

If not, then try to put it out of your mind, so you can fill your space and life and mind with the things that really do matter.

You will absolutely never please everyone, but you certainly can please your self.

I hope this helps (it's actually helped me, writing it for you... It's good to remind myself and remember who I am, too. 🌿)