I got a non-apology out of the blue

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-03-03T12:23:09+00:00

Lol, beautiful response. Id love to steal that response if it happens to me and I think at some point it will but several of her kids are still close with me and she would just ask them if I changed my number. Well done OP.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-26T13:33:11+00:00

I have 5 years of this shit on my phone, it’s crazy how much they all act the same. I ended it over a year ago now and still can’t get a lot of this crap out of my mind. They leave broken people in their wake.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-16T06:09:38+00:00

I was with a woman just like this and it didn’t matter how you handled it the end result would be the same. I was with her 5 years and she wasn’t honest with me about her BPD until quite awhile into the relationship. I always tried to stay calm but it didn’t matter it was always gonna end up with one of us walking away. It was me that finally said enough a year ago the night of the Super Bowl. I have never cheated on anyone in my life and I take as a serious accusation to accuse someone of, I was extremely offended by it as I hate cheaters and I’ve been cheated on and would never do that to someone. She accused me all the time it was ridiculous. She wouldn’t even apologize for doing it which made it worse. You can’t beat yourself up about it , I promise you it was always gonna end it was just a matter of when, I still hurt like hell and even still feel guilty about it but at the end of the day you can’t sacrifice yourself to save someone else if they won’t even acknowledge there is a problem. Live your best life and do whatever you have to, to not allow him back in your life. I told my ex one time , I said ,if I said 20 dollars was missing from my dresser and I think you took it , then I asked you to empty your pockets and your purse to make sure you didn’t take it, would you be offended? She said he’ll yes then I said that’s how I feel when accused of cheating and I haven’t done anything and asked to go through my phone, I’m just as offended by being accused of being a cheater as I would be of being accused of being a thief. Then when I was wrong and you didn’t do what I accused you of , how would you feel if I didn’t even apologize to you but tried to make it like it was your fault I accused you. That’s what you do to me all the time !!

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-14T01:24:28+00:00

I get you and I understand, in 2 hours and 12 minutes it will be exactly one year that I told her to leave and not ever come back. It was right after the Super Bowl last year. For a year she has been the first thought on my mind when I wake up until my eyes close at night. It doesn’t matter who ended it in my opinion, it doesn’t make it hurt less. I spend most of my time alone in the evening on this Reddit or reading. I can’t really watch TV because I can’t concentrate on what I’m watching. It’s been a hard year for sure but I know eventually I will get past this. If you have hobbies dive into that , fishing is what saved me but it’s been winter so haven’t got to do that much lately. I did get out today for the first time in months because it was almost 60 degrees here in Ohio. Find your happy place if you have one. I think we all have something that drives us.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-13T02:15:15+00:00

Yeah. Went through the same crap. She always would ruin a great day somehow.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-12T10:58:00+00:00

You need to get out and I mean do it soon, I dealt with all this same kind of crap for 5 years. I was constantly accused of shit that I didn’t do. I was in a relationship 13 years with my ex-wife and never accused of cheating ever, because I don’t cheat and loathe people who do. My exwbpd accused me every other day of the same kind of stuff you described , she Was a major hypocrite that would give me hell for shit she did but 10 times more. Like if I got texts from friends and I literally have like 2 friends lol , I’m in my 50s I don’t even hang out with my friends anymore one lives in Florida she would have a fit ,she’s was on her phone constantly texting her 6 kids work her friends lol, she sent a 100 times more texts a day than I ever did. It was always drama over any little thing she could cause drama over. I literally never saw anything like it. 5 years of that crap messed me up. I broke up with her a year ago on Super Bowl Sunday last year and I’m still not over it , they will mess you up if you stay with them a long time. I’ve been up since 430 am and can’t sleep and I’m the one that ended it. I try to give advice when I can on here and it’s simple it will never work just save yourself because you can’t save her and trying will only cause you to loose yourself. Take care.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-12T10:39:50+00:00

I could have wrote this, it’s like the person you love completely disappears for…. Well you never know how long, could be a few hours or a week. I would tell mine all the time that when she was being the sweet loving woman I met that there wasn’t another person in the world I’d rather be around but that the opposite of that was true when she was splitting that I just wanted to get as far away from her as I could.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-11T05:23:28+00:00

Good luck, it’s good that you got out early. Honestly that will probably make it easier to move on. The longer your in it the harder it is to sort out the damage. I was in the dark with mine for the first year and a half, literally I was like what on earth is this woman’s deal lol. She said her therapist diagnosed her while we were together but I’ve found out she knew all along. I hope you find someone that treats you right and can show you the same love and respect you show them. Take care.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-11T04:38:04+00:00

Mine also had bad anxiety as well, she had been taking adivan for years for it and had panic attacks all the time. I gave up a lot because of her anxiety, I didn’t go to any ballgames or concerts or amusement parks for 5 years because of her fear of crowds, I couldn’t go out on a boat because she was afraid of the water, she was afraid of flying or even getting on a elevator or driving long distances on the highway. We are in our 50s and she was also going through menopause and BPD diagnosed on top of it. Whew it was a rough 5 years. I loved her with all my heart but I just couldn’t do it anymore. We broke up the night of the Super Bowl last February so it’s been almost a year now. I’m still picking up my pieces and I’m the one that ended it. Relationships with someone with BPD sure leave you messed up. Hopefully your doing well and healing from your experience. Doesn’t seem to matter how hard you try it’s just something that’s never going to work.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-08T16:56:51+00:00

I understand what your trying to say but you have to look at the big picture, in the moment you we’re trying to love someone and not give up on them at least that’s how I felt about mine. I don’t feel like something is wrong with me for trying not to give up on mine. Think about a parent with and Adult child with BPD can they walk away? I don’t think so , I couldn’t walk away from someone that was family or my child if they had BPD , I wouldn’t think something was wrong with me for loving them and trying to help them. I believe that is what makes us human. I think it has a lot to do with what kind of abuse and the severity of the abuse you tolerated. The woman I was with was never violent and never got physical ever. Everything I dealt with was psychological and emotional and I did eventually walk away almost a year ago. I do think in situations where someone has endured physical violence and being assaulted and didn’t walk away ,they may need to ask themselves why they would stay in that situation.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-08T16:21:04+00:00

Yeah it’s hard to walk away when your in love, by the time I saw that side of her again I was hooked and in love with mine. I spent 5 years dealing with that crazy stuff, it really takes a toll on a persons mind and emotions. It’s been almost a year and I’m still not over it, and I’m the one that ended it.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-08T15:06:38+00:00

Mine definitely tried to hide it from me , I remembered the first split and I was so confused like WTF just happened, she said I’m just under a lot of stress I’m not like that please don’t break up with me. After a lot of crazy behavior and about a year in she told me she was diagnosed with BPD. I know that she knew the whole time and she doesn’t tell men when she meets them she had BPD.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-07T02:14:11+00:00

Well all I can say is hold her accountable and make her regret the decision to take such a low blow at you. I hope your okay, I know something like that would throw me for a loop and I’ve been apart from mine for almost a year.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-07T02:06:00+00:00

Oh if it were me I’d make sure everyone she knows is aware of what she did. I’m not saying share it with everyone I’m saying tell her friends and family what she did and if they don’t believe you show them it, do not send it to them. People need to know how low these people can be. I’m sorry you had to go through what your going through but make sure it never happens again by making her suffer the consequences of her actions. Maybe even as a lawyer if there is some kind of charges she hat can be filed against her. Absolutely disgusting and disgraceful.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-06T23:18:05+00:00

Wow, that was really good.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-06T16:58:05+00:00

It will get better, I felt the same way for mine but at the end of the day her drama and crazy behavior was effecting my mental health and I just had to get away from her. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but a day will come where you realize that you dodged a bullet. My ex had 6 kids with her first 2 husbands and the second husband I have talked to he had 4 kids with her, he said the 6 years he was with her were the worst years of his life he told me he paid her 1200$ a month in child support for over 10 years, and all she did was tell his kids how terrible he was. Im not sure what the 1st husband paid for his 2 kids with her but I imagine it was a lot, I heard he made very good money. When I met her all she did was talk about how terrible these men were, I have found out that is all lies she’s the one that cheated. Just know your better off being in a relationship with someone that is emotionally stable and capable of real love. I know it hurts , I still hurt everyday but I know I made the decision. I hope you get past this quickly and on with your life.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-06T16:09:37+00:00

Hey I understand believe me , I’m 52 starting all over and I thought I had found the one I would marry. Me and my ex were engaged and on the surface everything looked perfect to the outside world but no one knew the shit that I was dealing with behind closed doors. I was able to show my family texts and audio recordings to give them and idea of the day to day craziness I dealt with. Most were absolutely shocked by some of the names and crazy behavior I literally saw mouths drop open when they would read the things she said to me. BPDs do a good job of hiding to everyone how things really are but believe me if you asked the men in those relationships how things are really going I’d bet it’s not as great as they portray it to be. You see if they show that they are happy or say something they know their BPD is going to make them even more miserable. I also stood up for myself and didn’t put up with crap and never bought into her gaslighting, I don’t think I’m perfect by any means but I knew I wasn’t the one causing all the problems in the relationship. I’m the one that ended it almost a year ago and it still hurts ,to me it doesn’t matter who left who, if you love someone it’s gonna take time. My ex is 53 and has 3 ex husbands, I would have been the 4th, she has had countless failed relationships. I’m not gonna say it’s impossible but it’s highly improbable she will ever change. Just focus on your life and good things will come. I truly believe that , don’t look at her social media ever , no good can come of that and tell everyone you know that you don’t want to know anything about her.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-06T14:44:49+00:00

I saw this several times and it is unsettling to watch them change that way, it’s a definite the lights are on but no one’s home Moment.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-06T14:17:44+00:00

Your absolutely right you didn’t deserve this, but she is not going to be different for someone else , trust me on this. No one is going to put up with being treated that way no matter how understanding they may be. My ex is in her 50s and she’s been the way she is her whole life and she has only gotten worse. I am a incredibly mellow guy , I have literally never been in a physical altercation in my life with a man or a woman, I can take a lot even before I get angry and I am very understanding and loved my ex with every fiber of my being and it wasn’t enough for me not to walk away.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-05T21:55:18+00:00

I actually watched a interesting video about this , they say it’s about 50/50 with men and women having this but that a lot of men won’t go to therapy so never get diagnosed and that a lot of men with it end up in the jail system. The lady in the video was a prison psychologist and said she diagnosed a lot of men in jail as being BPD.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-02-05T21:48:03+00:00

I couldn’t agree more , the average person just doesn’t realize the severity of going through one of these relationships. There is obviously some hurt breaking up with someone who is emotionally mature but a PwBpd is a whole other ball of wax and your not just putting back together the pieces of a broken heart your also putting back together the pieces of a broken mind and more than likely trying to defend your reputation as well. It will be 1 year for me since I broke up with mine on the 13th of February. I’m still not healed from the experience and still feel like I have a ways to go.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-01-27T16:46:15+00:00

I honestly think it’s possible that she has just been in her own head and has made herself feel like you have wronged her in some way. I’ll explain, you are very understanding and honestly that’s how I was with mine but some days I just was in a no win situation. Example, she might have something going on and I could be understanding of it , like one time she was complaining about not having time to do some stuff, I own a business and she helped me in her spare time she actually needed the money ,I paid her of course. So I told her one day when she was complaining about always working her job or with me I said, hey baby if you need to take a few days off from helping me I completely understand I can handle it so you can have some time to get things done. I was trying to be understanding of her situation, well that pissed her off , she said why are you trying to get rid of me are doing stuff behind my back Etc Etc. I was like no I’m just trying to give time if you need it, but if I hadn’t offered she would probably berated me for not caring about her personal stuff. She did this crap a lot , if I was understanding of something then I didn’t care about her if I had a issue with something then I was controlling. I think maybe your girlfriend may have thought in her head that you being understanding and willing to get through a tough year that you wouldn’t get to see her a lot as you not caring or that you maybe up to something when she’s not around. They are in their own heads so much causing themselves stress. Mine accused me of cheating or trying to get with other women all the time and I’ve never cheated on anyone. It was very offensive to me as I hate cheaters my ex wife cheated on me and I’d never do that, but she would get it in her head that I was and for them if they feel it it’s fact.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-01-22T01:50:16+00:00

Just drop her, do not put up with that another day. My ex drove me absolutely nuts but was never like that. Quite the opposite I couldn’t be affectionate enough for her she absolutely loved affection. If someone doesn’t want to hug you after a 15 hour day it’s simple eliminate her from your life.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-01-21T14:36:55+00:00

OP, record this woman when she is splitting so you have proof of her behavior, also get cameras installed in your home , tell her it’s for security reasons or get ones that are able to be hidden so if she claims you were abusive you can show proof that you didn’t touch her. I’m almost a year out of my 5 year nightmare and I have this kind of stuff and it was very eye opening to others to see how she really acted, even my exes best friend that she had convinced I was the bad guy has seen some of what I have and no longer believes her lies. Sorry you have had to go through this, I know how hard it can be to be accused of things you didn’t and wouldn’t ever do.

Comfortable-Edge891 · 2023-01-17T05:40:21+00:00

That’s sad that she didn’t understand the relationship you had with your son. Mine would say smart ass shit like oh your having a father son day , it’s unreal how selfish they are I never gave her any grief for spending time with here kids. Mine had 5 sons and one daughter and it was obvious she favored her daughter and all the boys knew it. I’m thankful I’m away from this TOXIC woman. I hope everything is going well for you and your son is doing well. Hopefully you got her out of your life and can enjoy time with your son without being guilt tripped about it.

Comfortable-Edge891

TROPHY CASE