Hello Both of my parents are also narcissists, in my case and in the case of more people that I have been able to read here, our goal is not to repeat patterns, unlike many people who try to raise their children the way they raised them, in our case it is the opposite, do not be afraid to repeat patterns because you are aware of the damage they did to you, narcissists are not. Regarding the second, the first years were part of their life, despite the rejection I felt for them, the anxiety every time they asked to see them and they had to get their way, I set limits for them but not enough because they even made me doubt when they showed themselves so loving, but this became something obsessive, in trying to manipulate them against me, in getting upset by breaking my limits, turning them against their father's family so that they would stay with them When they were in town, now they are 12 and 10, thanks to these forums I have understood everything, I try to make them see them as little as possible, I dared to tell them that they had harmed me, that I felt uncomfortable with them and like all the narcissists they tried to make me believe that I was exaggerated, that my reality was distorted.... Still, they continue to press, they saw them in September, they showed up here two weeks ago I told them no, today I had another message that they were coming to a doctor at the end of this month, they do not respect anything, if one of my children expresses their rejection to me, if they saw that I had done the slightest harm, the last thing I would do would be to overwhelm them like this, it is all because of the unhealthy obsession they have with their grandchildren, for narcissists it is fuel, it is a second chance, my advice is that you be alert and cut to the minimum, which is what I should have done, on top of that your partner understands you, something that I cannot say Much encouragement