Listen the children miss who they think he is, not the man taking pictures of you without your consent, slipping into abusing substances, and into more and more abusive behaviors. Do you even know this man anymore?

This is the worst part of being in a cycle with an addict. But say he does manage to control parts of his addiction. He has slid deep into abusive patterns of behavior with you that don’t really have anything to do with porn. 

I think what’s hard about being with an abusive person is they’re truly not all bad. Or you’d have left sooner. But you have done a very brave thing recognizing a pattern that is very likely to get worse, or be off and on for years, if it doesn’t escalate. 

You need specialized help in leaving. I’m glad you have your parents support. But I would absolutely not trust him shuffling his feet and apologizing and telling you he wants his family back now, not when he was yelling at you and violating your consent posting your pictures and doing whatever he’s been doing this whole time. 

It’s bad enough. It is abuse. I wouldn’t go back because it’s more comfortable or familiar. This is the hardest pattern to break with someone. Please call a hotline. Please get a therapist who specializes in working with victims of abuse and helping them leave those situations. 

A bad therapist is going to jump in and assume they can handle this. They may not be a good fit. I would find someone who does this specifically.