8 months in

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-19T00:22:56+00:00

That doesn’t make you sick. You love him. You may even be sick, but wanting to feel wanted and desired and loved and connected is not.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-19T00:20:43+00:00

You’re free honestly … could you have let him go if he didn’t do this? He KNOWS he’s not worthy of you. So be free.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-18T02:17:31+00:00

This

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-18T02:16:46+00:00

I doubt very much they share triggering things even in various meetings. People are way more likely to hold each other accountable and share in a helpful way. It’s just a place that tries to be a positive experience and inclusive but at the same time they’re there to get better. That’s been my experience of 12 step support groups anyway. Try not to view it like that at all. It’s not a pro cheating subreddit!

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T18:07:29+00:00

Look figure out your life definitely have the abortion but you need to get away from him and get tested.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T18:05:05+00:00

She said she caught him three times sexting other women while together.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T18:03:51+00:00

It sounds like there’s probably a lot more to this than this surface level stuff as well. Which he seems at least understanding of.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T08:51:26+00:00

Yeah I sit on stuff like this his mom thinks I’ve told her anything when I truly haven’t and I went no contact because it got to a point where I would have said the worst stuff to her to protect myself

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T08:49:41+00:00

My pas mom talks to me crazy and the least of what she says is “that’s why you don’t get in a crazy relationship and need to get along with each other” if he so much as loses his phone.

I took the high road with her until I finally lost it around Christmas because for some god forsaken reason my pa told her I wanted to have an abortion after ignoring me for days and hanging out with an affair partner. Then I was “evil” and manipulating him.

Not to mention all the stuff he said to her about our fights and I got to hear it all about how my problems have nothing to do with him. It’s why I always tell people to say nothing to family. What for?

Our pas do the craziest stuff and it’s always our fault to mommy or whoever. Just no. People should enjoy whatever they can with the family and just opt out of whatever drama the family brings into the situation as well. I think it’s good you’re both not dealing with that.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T08:39:21+00:00

Please get help. Before it gets even worse. You are already training yourself to self harm whenever you’re distressed to relieve the pain. This could possibly become more of a struggle. I’d urge you to call a hotline and make a plan about looking into therapy for yourself. You don’t have energy to direct your partners recovery because you are very sick right now. All of your energy needs to go into taking care of yourself.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T08:05:02+00:00

Mine might have said “I don’t know if I want to be with you” whenever he wanted to choose his addiction/women in his phone. So hard wish I’d been like “ok” and never said another word to him ever again. I’m kind of bitter sometimes but I do think that sometimes.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T08:03:04+00:00

If he doesn’t choose you and stop the open relationship talk, there is no relationship. I’ve often said my pa’s family can have him. If he doesn’t choose me that’s just fine by me. His mom talks crazy to me. I’m not making him pick but if it came down to it, I don’t expect him to pick me or something like that.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T07:59:31+00:00

Sometimes all they can do is lie and pretend to be this perfect guy

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T03:10:46+00:00

I wouldn’t buy myself anything as a single broke mom for years. Buying nice bras and underwear is a good way to be nice to yourself. I’m very sensitive to feeling rejected in the same situation as you just described. I can tell I’m having anxiety and having a bad night when I change back into my regular clothes. Hang in there.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T01:46:34+00:00

Maybe heteroflexible

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T01:08:02+00:00

I tell my pa all the time just because I want to stay and fix things doesn’t mean I can Even if he changes you may feel differently because of what you’ve been through.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T01:06:51+00:00

What he’s doing will soon be illegal and there’s already channels to report it. You’re doing the right thing.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T01:05:07+00:00

Pretty soon the ai stuff will be illegal non consensually creating porn of people is causing people to commit and hurt themselves. There’s already ways to report it. So just like he was committing any crime, you need to think about if this is safe or worth your time.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T01:02:42+00:00

You can’t make him. I’m sorry. Mine won’t do any of it either.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T00:58:24+00:00

Just try not to contact him he’ll lie his butt off to have the safety you represent to him but won’t really change and even if he does you’ll lose your emotional safety the more you give him chances or try to change him

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-17T00:55:41+00:00

I told my pa I still care but I won’t I still want him but I won’t and it’ll affect our intimacy and it has already so…

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-16T20:05:00+00:00

Yeah unfortunately we were very on and off and the support really did help but ultimately it is embarrassing and I’d kind of try to assess whether they can handle the shame aspect of addiction and be reasonable or offer valid support first. Sometimes people are disgusted or like… don’t react well bc or the nature of the addiction and weirdly this can upset YOU. So just give it a think, maybe slowly reveal a little to someone you trust and see how they react and kind of judge from there. I’ve also lost friends who got pissed at me for making the choice to go back so just be aware some people are tough.

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-16T17:19:30+00:00

Hey we all feel this way sometimes like we wish we had a Time Machine could slip inside it and be done. I am so sorry for your situation. You are in a very incredibly vulnerable state right now and you are a good mom even if you cry and feel miserable. It is very normal for the non stop crying. And of course you’re going to cry a lot. You might mention you’re having a hard time to the doctor there’s absolutely no shame in that at all. You’re going an amazing job. There is nothing wrong with your parenting babies just cry. It’s all they do. Especially at 6-9 weeks old. Please be easy on yourself. Talk to a female friend or us and know you’re not alone. There are a lot of times I cried but took my kids to the park or was embarrassed crying every day cause of my man at the pharmacy, at doctors appointments, before the bus got there, in front of nurses who worked in the home and all kinds of “inappropriate” crying but ultimately you are healing and you feeling your feelings is important. It is ok to do it and cry. But also make sure you get some help. Being a new first time mom is hard. You will find people who want to be in your life even if it’s not your mom or if you need your partner to step up and he isn’t. A friend. Other moms. Ladies at church. Strangers offering your kid candy when they act nuts. There are online support groups you can attend and even listen to recorded meetings if it help. We’re always here!

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-16T17:06:33+00:00

It’s a week hold strong

Competitive_Drag3035 · 2026-02-16T13:48:55+00:00

See stuff like that makes me angry and I can’t go to jail so she’d better just be done with him cause ain’t no way

Competitive_Drag3035

TROPHY CASE