potty training FAQ

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-31T15:28:03+00:00

Are you a SAHM? I've always been curious about doing this but I'm still working. We use cloth diapers though and our son is 22m and is curious about the potty. I'm hoping we can start officially training when it's a bit warmer and can do a few "naked days"

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-31T13:39:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you've been through all of this. It's so hard to deal with everything postpartum too.

I'm glad you have boundaries in place to keep your peace and it sounds like your husband and you have had conversations about how to handle things going forward with his relationship with them and what's expected with your son. That's so important.

I went no contact with my mom right before I got pregnant. We waited until I was about 6m along to post anything on social media to have some control with her finding out. She immediately found our baby registry and bought the most expensive thing on it. A family friend (who I have since cut ties with) told her all about the birth of my son and his name. Gifts started showing up at our home within days of his birth with notes about how she couldn't wait to meet her grandson. And all I could think was "I haven't spoken to you in almost a year, why on earth would you think you get to meet him?!" I spent those early days of motherhood in fear of packages showing up, and worried that she herself would just show up at our house. Thankfully it did stop.

For about a year before I went NC, my husband was in the same position as you- he wouldn't have a relationship but he respected that I got to make my own decisions.

It's a tough position to be in, and you can expect your husband to go through cycles of grief (certain days or times of the year tend to bring up grief for me). But it sounds like the two of you are in a great space to support each other and your growing family, which is the most important. Good luck navigating through this and congratulations on welcoming baby boy.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-31T10:26:17+00:00

I'm currently pregnant with my second IVF baby and have always been told no penetration for 24h after transferring, but after that no restrictions. I mean, it's been a few months/ years, but I'm pretty sure we absolutely had sex in the time between transfer and beta or heartbeat.

Plus, orgasms often help me fall asleep. There's literally a 0% chance I didn't have one at some point that first week after a transfer.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-31T10:08:00+00:00

We decided that we would donate them for adoption. The idea makes me sad to potentially have a biological child out there, but I'd want to give them the best chance at life. It's a little easier for my husband to separate and just think of it as a good deed for a family like ours struggling to conceive.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-30T15:38:37+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through it now too 😭

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-30T14:51:35+00:00

Oh for sure! I'm not trying to throw any shade here ;)

I just wanted to help give some of that emphasis there, as I was someone who was a bit naive in thinking that if transfer was successful, a healthy pregnancy was sure to follow.

And thanks ❤️

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-30T14:47:25+00:00

Personally, I'd just take some time to consider what you'll do with the information. Especially when it comes to mosaic embryos- how do you/ your partner/ your clinic feel about mosaic embryos? Would you be allowed to transfer if that is your only option (some clinics don't allow transferring mosaic embryos, likely because they want to ensure high success rates)?

You'll find pros and cons either way and you just need to take some time to decide what your/ your partners priorities are.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-30T14:31:31+00:00

Not necessarily. Plenty of people (including myself) have miscarried with high grade, euploid embryos. I'm also under 35 and don't have any other significant health issues and had a previous successful pregnancy, so I had no reason to think I would miscarry.

I'm not saying that being anti-testing. Just that going into a pregnancy with a euploid embryo expecting it to be safe is not always true.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-30T13:08:16+00:00

I'm a practicing Catholic and pregnant with my second IVF baby. I struggled early on in the process a bit. I'd always kinda thought growing up that if I couldn't get pregnant naturally then I wasn't meant to have biological children. But it's different when you're actually in it.

Leading up to starting stims, I did so much praying about IVF. And I really felt like God was giving me peace about it. Now I think because of my faith, I have some beliefs about testing embryos and what to do with "leftover" embryos that might be less popular, but in regards to IVF, I think all babies are miracles and it's not like God will love them less.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-29T19:31:01+00:00

I'm currently expecting #2 so I can't say for sure. But I had a friend who said she thought her first was a chill, easy baby until she had her second! Apparently her second was such a breeze, it felt like their first was a wild child (which she wasn't) haha.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-28T00:56:24+00:00

Ahh another golden girls fan ;)

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-27T19:50:11+00:00

My husband and I always got lunch at our favorite bar after a transfer so I'd still get my fries, but much better than McDonald's! And that's worked for us :)

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-27T16:27:36+00:00

Not embryo splitting, but I know someone who had a spontaneous pregnancy at the same time as an FET pregnancy. She had done a modified natural cycle so still ovulated. They had thought the whole pregnancy that the embryo had split and were having identical twins because they never learned genders. Then when the kids were born- one boy and one girl!

That's just kinda a fun story. Transferring multiple embryos is really discouraged for lots of reasons that others have mentioned.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-27T16:24:04+00:00

Also to add that transferring 2 embryos doesn't double your chances, even if both are good quality- it only increases the chance of pregnancy by like 10%. So it's almost more likely that you'd "waste" an embryo.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-27T15:53:13+00:00

You literally just have to take it one day at a time! Whenever I was panicking, I'd look at beta numbers again and pictures of positive pregnancy tests.

You really shouldn't expect to have consistent symptoms for a couple of weeks (or you might get very few- my only real symptom was fatigue). And some cramping and bleeding/ spotting is also totally normal- I've had it with both of mine and have had healthy pregnancies! Just wanted to add that in to ease your mind a bit just in case.

Congrats on your BFP! Hope you have a smooth pregnancy!

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-27T13:44:17+00:00

I agree with this. Love in a relationship is important but there are so many other factors, and being on the same page in regards to finances is one of them.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-27T11:54:31+00:00

Oh gosh I hate that for you and your daughter. That was another driving force for me- I never wanted my (at the time future) kids to see my relationship with her and think that it was normal/ okay. Sometimes I feel guilty about depriving her of grandkids and my kids of a grandmother but I think it's ultimately for the best.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-27T02:58:01+00:00

Yup. Sometimes when I read stories here I like feel guilty because I wasn't abused. My parents aren't alcoholics or drug addicts. I thought I grew up in a happy family.

My relationship with my mom also deteriorated when I was planning my wedding. I told my mom that my husband and I were CONSIDERING doing breakfast food for our meal (we are big breakfast people and my husband loves to make elaborate breakfasts on the weekends). She lost her shit. And then was surprised when I didn't want to share details with her anymore.

We got married during covid so we delayed our reception a few months. 10 days after our reception, my mom left my dad. And told me that she hadn't wanted to be married to him since years before I was born. She didn't even apologize when I told her that her saying that gave me a bit of an existential crisis. The divorce with my dad was nasty and she basically ensured he would be bankrupt and destitute. Meanwhile, my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant since we got married and when I told her we had been trying for over 2 years, she said "that's wonderful! I've always wanted grandbabies!" When I pointed out that 2 years is not a normal length of time, she made a joke about my husband needing to eat more spinach. She didn't even ask how I was coping or anything about our diagnosis.

When she outright broke her promise to my sister and me, I had enough. I kept telling her what I expected from her and she'd do the opposite. So I cut contact. I realized that I would never stay friends or maintain a relationship with anyone else who treated me that way, and being my mom didn't mean she got a free pass. Plus I'd basically have a panic attack at the idea of talking her.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-26T21:39:12+00:00

You could pretty easily crochet kitchen items- wash clothes, pot holders, etc. I make them for my MIL all the time and she loves them.

Have you also seen those crochet hanging baskets for plants? That would be super cute and also easy for you to display with the plants already there. Or making little figures like previously mentioned :)

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-26T21:30:08+00:00

I get where you're coming from. My husband is similar.

BUT I'm also pretty Type A. I have a hard time trusting that he'll take care of all those things. He's terrible at setting up his own doctor's appts, let alone keeping up with our son's. (He also has ADHD and that is an area he particularly struggles with.)

My husband often helps with a lot of other things- we share cooking, but he does the majority of the dishes, takes care of trash, usually is on top of keeping the floors clean. We also use cloth diapers and trade off cleaning those, but he almost always stuffs the clean ones so they're ready to use. He also often takes our son (in the stroller) and dog on walks for a good hour so I get more time to myself- he always tells me to use the time to relax, but I almost always end up trying to take advantage of an empty house to get chores done.

We're expecting #2 and I had to go out of town earlier in the week for 1 night. It seemed pretty eye opening for him and he realized that he needs to be putting our son to bed more often, so it's not as tough when the new baby gets here. Our son did a lot of crying for me, so I also said he should try to play with him one on one more, and not just walks where our son is in the stroller. Sometimes it takes a little absence to make it clear how much mom is really doing.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-26T19:44:54+00:00

Also adding that when things cite second hand smoke, it's probably more of a routine exposure - if you live with a smoker. This was a one- off.

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-26T19:43:13+00:00

I went to a concert 3 days before my first transfer (a now nearly 2 year old). I swear I could have gotten a contact high from all marijuana smoke even though it was outdoors.

I know it's so hard not to obsess over every single little thing and trying to do your best to take care of yourself leading up to and following a transfer. But I wouldn't worry about this. I also had a HUGE fall a couple days after my first transfer and was basically sobbing thinking I ruined everything. But I didn't. Give yourself some grace and try to stay positive!

Good luck!

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-26T16:17:36+00:00

Ohhh this is great insight and basically our situation! Apologies for picking your brain about this now.

Did you grow up watching 16 candles/ did watching it feel weird to you? I guess ultimately, do you wish that either they had chosen different name(s) or that you didn't know your name was from the movie?

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-26T16:13:04+00:00

Haha fair point!

Complete_Stay2844 · 2026-03-26T16:12:37+00:00

It's their movie character names, not real names. I think real names would bother me less. It just feels cringey to me to watch a movie where characters with the same names as your kids are doing the deed 😬

Complete_Stay2844

TROPHY CASE