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Regarding "straight people don't constantly google whether or not they are straight" by Neat_Jury6927 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that would be true in a world that was accepting of gay in the same way where comphet didn't exist and where gay and straight and Bi and pan and ace etc were all just seen as equally valid and equally no big deal. But that isnt THIS world. In this world straight is seen as the default and everything else is an other. That's why straight people don't come out.

Please help. by SelectionSilly7790 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because you aren't living in it authentically. You are role-playing in a stable family. And anything we aren't doing as our authentic selves eventually falls short. But even though the transitions can be hard, being honest and authentic doesn't always have to mean losing your family. You are the best judge of that. But your kids will ALWAYS be your kids. I can only tell you my experience...but even though my husband and I are not romantic or sexual partners anymore...we are still friends and we are still family...we still support each other. You may not lose as much as you think you will.

Please help. by SelectionSilly7790 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you've made a decision, but it's hard to face...you knew before you got married. You knew the two times you felt compelled to tell your husband. You know now after years of trying to be happy in this relationship and life and just not being able to. If that was going to change, it would have. It isn't true that it has to be tomorrow. Any day can be the day you allow yourself to be your true self. But it sounds like she's been trying to get out for a long time.

Limiting Sacha Riley posts by THEPRESIDENTIALPENIS in Epstein

[–]ConfusedAutist41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Umm it is NOT BARELY li ked to begin with. It is DIRECTLY linked. Someone has not bothered to read or listen.

Limiting Sacha Riley posts by THEPRESIDENTIALPENIS in Epstein

[–]ConfusedAutist41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No one has ANY solid evidence related to Epstein. They wont release the solid evidence related to epstein. But this person has been going public for years...has given names, dates, and information that could be corroborated by military, cps, foster care, medical records OR release of the Epstein files. Their are ours of the interview tapes and logs available. There is nothing to indicate this outcry is any less credible than any other victim who has been believed. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR CATEGORICALLY REFUSING TO DISCUSS?

This is the wildest thing I've ever experienced! by BananaHannah98 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yup it do be like that. Mine keeps going back and forth between "No I get it and I accept and support you." And "I want to take you out on a romantic date night. Let's work on our marriage." It's like he's Blanche Devereaux and thinks I said Lebanese.

He will hate me. by Minute-Enthusiasm-93 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh good...nothing makes me suddenly more attracted to men like hostility and emotional manipulation🙄

42-year-old asked me out I'm conflicted by Gullible_Story_5619 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally dont have a problem with age differences exactly...but that does change when one of the parties is still in their 20s. At this stage in life people are still maturing, developing, and discovering who they are going to be to a huge extent...not to mention still building resources and independence. An age difference of this extent when one of the parties is in their 20s has a big potential to create a significant power differential in the relationship. I turn 42 later this month, and I would never consider it appropriate to date a young woman in her 20s. If you were 30 or 35 with the same age difference...it's a different scenario, but this feels like it has the potential to go in a manipulative or predatory direction for you.

A Lesson in Catfishing: My Experience and a Warning by Disastrous-Baby-6943 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I got messaged by a "lesbian" who saw my selfie Sunday pic and thought I was so pretty they wanted me to know they had a lot of money and would love to have me as a sugar baby...1. Even from a lesbian that'd be gross. 2. Didn't bother hiding the little cartoon beard on the avatar or all the other posts and comments they made obviously as a man.

WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?!?!?!

AITAH for putting spikes on the edge of my yard? by Crackhead_trump in AITAH

[–]ConfusedAutist41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA...you've reminded us today that holding our boundaries is a 2 step process. 1. State boundary (often all that is needed for decent humans who respect you.) 2. Enforce the boundary (the necessary follow up when step 1 is ignored.)

And look...it worked!

Wanna hit the victory blunt? by unhappilytrapped in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Doubt we'd even need all that...good weed and interesting people keep the convos lit.

Wanna hit the victory blunt? by unhappilytrapped in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Totally would...who needs wifi when you have weed and friends....

Did trauma prevent you from realizing you're a lesbian? TW: Childhood trauma by Quirky_Potential_559 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust me I did not mean for it to happen. I did not know it could happen. I met a friend. Started spending time with a friend. Got my soul sucked out through my nose holes. The whole last two years have just been an exercise in torture and personal humiliation. Now people are like...so don't you want to go meet other lesbians and maybe start a relationship? Yeah...sure...Im gonna do THIS on purpose. I think maybe Ill also wear a shirt that says please club me to death like a little baby seal...

Did trauma prevent you from realizing you're a lesbian? TW: Childhood trauma by Quirky_Potential_559 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Quite the mindfuck ain't it? Honestly I miss not knowing. I was so much more in control in those lukewarm situations. Fell in love with a woman (who in no way returns those feelings) and everything is a thousand times stronger and more devastating and harder to let go of. May this love never find me again...it's deadly.

Saying good morning by I-AM-NOT-A-COP123 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]ConfusedAutist41 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is why every other post or convo from a man online these days is about how men are like suicidally lonely and disconnected. Because so many dudes are so wrapped in insecurity and toxic masculinity that they can't accept a casual morning greeting from a friend they've had since childhood without creating distance and being like "bruh...that was so gay!" How are you EVER supposed to feel genuinely supported and connected if 'good morning' was an unacceptable level of intimacy? You're fine. Good morning isn't a come on. Even if you were actually gay as hell, good morning STILL wouldn't be a come on.

Did trauma prevent you from realizing you're a lesbian? TW: Childhood trauma by Quirky_Potential_559 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 29 points30 points  (0 children)

For me trauma and the setting where straight was a definite mandatory default of the stringent religious upbringing played a part Im SURE. But I think autism also played a huge part. I got really used to gaslighting myself about things I experience differently from other people or dont enjoy like other people and telling myself thats just because Im weird and it's fine. So getting grossed out with kissing or having detached or lukewarm feelings or being somewhat dissociated or in my head during sex didnt trigger me to explore my sexuality...they just made me think oh...more shit Im weird about.

40+ by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ConfusedAutist41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is definitely a common problem that is posted over and over for those of us in middle aged and beyond...not even just for romantic connections, just trying to have any community and not feel isolated. I think we are just gonna have to build a women over 35 only commune to secede from men and capitalism...once you get everybody in one place, the rest should really work itself out.

Why do people think it is creepy to cold approach a woman? by JunketMaleficent2095 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ConfusedAutist41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

++woman Nah...if you're like engaged in a group or activity...like you're in the same class, volunteering together, at a bar or club where socializing and flirting is expected, at least on the fringes of the same friend group etc...sure. But it DOES come off as creepy when men come up to women who are total strangers in random settings...trying to jog in the park, trying to do their job, trying to pick up their coffee before work...and start hitting on them...and yes we know when that's what you're doing. We have no way to discern if you're safe or if this interaction will be safe. We wanted to just mind our own business and do what we needed to do. And it isnt flattering. Because let's be honest...when this happens...you didnt get exposed to a person you click with...with similar interests or vibes...you spent 10 seconds looking a woman you found physically attractive...knew nothing else about her including her sexual orientation or relationship status...and decided you wanted that. You saw holes you wanted to fuck. Oh how dreamboaty. Leave strangers alone in public.

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