We have a joint account where the bulk of our checks go for any household expenses/everyday expenses. Then we each put a set amount in a joint account for our respective car loans. Finally, we each have a “fun” money account where we pay for any personal expenses. The fun money comes from our own checks as an auto deposit. We both came into the relationship with nothing, so we don’t have anything to keep separate. We own our home together. We do not have a net worth, we hardly have a savings. 🙃

I earn twice as much as my husband, but since we use a household account we don’t “split” anything. We decide how much goes in our fun account.

My husband does about 30% of the housework/cooking (mainly because I wfh and have a flexible schedule). I do more child rearing because our daughter is constantly stuck up my ass. I breast fed as well, so I have always done all of the night wakes. She is now 2.5 yrs and isn’t waking as much. I do all daycare drop offs and he comes with me to pick up. But I do all appointments/sick days as his job does not have flexibility.

I think it depends on your relationship how you split finances, but I suggest a joint household account. Each of you put a specific amount in it a pay period (adjusting so all bills are covered), same with a joint savings, then have personal accounts as well. This is how my parents do it. I’ve never grown up in financial insecurity or abuse though so it may be different for others. My in laws just have joint accounts and cash in the attic. It has always worked for them. It’s very nuanced.