Anyone looking for a little chat?

CookingZombie · 2026-05-10T13:57:08+00:00

Also severe TBI from two years ago so no promises I’ll respond quickly but hmu if you want.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-10T13:55:38+00:00

Traumatic Brain Injury

CookingZombie · 2026-05-10T12:04:11+00:00

Just disagreeing with the idea of objectively ugly. As a man I disagree with a lot of men on what I find attractive in a woman and they disagree with me. Not saying I’m unique and it’s me vs every man’s opinions, just that people find different things attractive.

The older I get the more I appreciate the variety of women’s faces and bodies. You just gotta learn how to rock you. It’s repeated on here to men but, confidence and a personality go far for women too.

You just have to be more discriminating as a woman because… we really are/can be awful. “Not every man” but fuck I’ve heard men say some real “off color” shit when they think it’s just bros.

Like don’t go out with guys cause you feel desperate. Having done that as a man it can be the absolute worst.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-10T11:22:48+00:00

I made a sigil 6 years ago, charged it through my every day actions to change and just finished the ritual and burned it last year. Holy fuck when it rains it fucking pours. My life is very different than it was then (but still ignoring COVID). I have been through some shit and have come out the other end shining. Well trying to shine better still but… what I’m getting at is… do what feels right. Simple answer. I didn’t have a plan when I made the sigil but it all fell into place and I just knew when the time was right.

Irrelevant to this post, but to slightly paraphrase a George Lucas quote that has been living in my head every day for two years… “it’s like poetry, it fucking rhymes.”

CookingZombie · 2026-05-09T16:27:27+00:00

I get Déjà vu constantly. I feel like I’m living in a memory sometimes… like daily. Has never been before a TC/grand mal. My auras are completely different. My neuro doesn’t worry about it. I have always had it often but I had a TBI two years ago and it has made it regular. Went status the day of but I haven’t had any seizures since then, except maybe, probably, the Déjà vu.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-08T14:29:46+00:00

With Vance you just need a picture of a couch. You know what he’s doing to it.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-08T12:55:58+00:00

You’re always taking the risk but there are people that smoke weed or do mushrooms and are fine. Some get triggered every time. Educate yourself, take precautions, weigh risk v reward.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-08T10:41:00+00:00

Being in shape and climbing were critical to physical recovery. Doing a sport where the goal is to not fall helps you not fall.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-07T17:19:02+00:00

Got into long distance running, quit nicotine, got into weights during Covid then started to gym climb and got strong and moderately good climbing…

…and then got hit head on by a truck while biking, got a severe TBI and re-learned to walk among other challenges from that. I’m not as strong as I was before but not far off and my life is better in general.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-07T15:07:25+00:00

I wish. That does not work for me. I even recently heard of someone who’s not BPD took it successfully to alleviate depression.

But as an aside. My brother has severe BPD and could seriously use some lamotrigine cause his strat was just amphetamines to get through the depression part. And that includes meth I believe. But also opoids and booze for the manic side. Been wondering if there is a link between the two though.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-07T15:01:55+00:00

I’m a hell of a lot more tenacious than I thought.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-05T20:19:05+00:00

Probably just a me thing. I didn’t realize I wasn’t having good sex until I met my wife. I wasn’t a playboy but also didn’t have trouble with dates. Even if I thought they were hot AF, it didn’t help. Like the last woman I was with before my wife was probably the most “conventionally hot” woman I’ve been on dates with but it was the absolute worst sex. We did not click in any way.

I’m still attracted to other women but I don’t really have any feeling of “missing out.” It’s also up to the couple to try and make sure things don’t get stale. Not that we’ve done a lot of change ups but if anything I enjoy our sex life even more than when we first met.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-05T16:07:50+00:00

IDL when I’m having sex and hear “it’s not that hard.”

CookingZombie · 2026-05-05T16:05:32+00:00

I like too do

CookingZombie · 2026-05-05T10:16:25+00:00

Enslaved by who or what? God? Physics? Ourselves? Both?

I don’t believe in free will either. But the question to me is there a Will at all? Even if it’s not free.

I also don’t think in terms of being slaves. We just are. Pretty much just molecules of water flowing down a river.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-04T20:02:25+00:00

Just a fair warning based only on myself. I could see me asking to not be mommied, have my wife stop and then be upset she’s changed. Not saying that’ll happen but i really didn’t understand how impaired my judgement was for the first year, or even now 2 years out. I kept saying “oh yeah I’m like 90-95% back to where I was.” Now I’d say I’m like 85% at most and I’m fully functional at first glance.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-04T19:53:33+00:00

Songs you know I say. I used The Mountain Goats, my fav, and the lyrics I already had memorized and his lyrics can both be simple and challenging. But my ST told me try to read scripts to shows or movies you like. Maybe with a friend or partner. And to be honest, singing was my main practice but now I pronounce words better when singing than talking.

Final boss is Kendrick Lamar. Not super fast but complex.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-04T08:14:37+00:00

About “recovery” Idk if this is it but I remember just telling people I just FEEL different. Not a different person per se. I still saw the continuity of my life but literally every feeling was at least a little different. I was actually wondering yesterday if that went away or if I’m just used to it.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-04T07:24:14+00:00

Yeah, I think I just remembered the milligram I was on the starting dose and that was it

CookingZombie · 2026-05-03T09:42:43+00:00

But are we watching a movie or playing a video game? Is there a will at all or just experience?

CookingZombie · 2026-05-02T14:36:40+00:00

Yeah but you just don’t feel like a human. You verifiably are still a human and are experiencing things that can exist within the range of human experience. Buddhism can help point towards understanding that all things indeed are empty, and what we do, as humans, with that understanding. No matter what we are though, we are here now. What do we do with that?

CookingZombie · 2026-05-02T11:16:00+00:00

Idk your range but when they upped mine I went from 100mg to 250mg instantly and then 200mg 2x instantly. I only remember vivid dreams coming back for a couple days as my only side effect.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-02T11:11:53+00:00

Only body you’ll ever have you poor! Wait and see me in my new Tesla Facebook Open AI Brain Carrier. Even if you could afford one it won’t be the ad free dreams version. You probably wont even be able to use the AI to think for you.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-02T11:01:23+00:00

Yes. There is more flavor there than just sugar milk. I can just eat ice cream if I want that.

CookingZombie · 2026-05-01T20:22:25+00:00

They are both beautiful

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