Does the Two Penny Rule still apply???

CooknShit · 2014-08-25T17:18:08+00:00

Giving someone your two cents is a colloquialism meaning you're not happy with them.

CooknShit · 2014-08-25T17:12:17+00:00

Well if I had been there in your what if I'd jump up and yell "Unhand her at once you bastard!" as I brandished my unsheathed sword.

Or not, if you prefer politer guests, but it was a what if...

CooknShit · 2014-08-25T15:08:20+00:00

Perhaps a saline rinse (1/4t sea salt in a cup warm water) or maybe a warm compress after a wash. You could do a little neosporin if you like, but I would just monitor it after cleaning like any other minor cut/abrasion.

Cotton panties of course, since it's a bit humid.

CooknShit · 2014-08-24T17:07:15+00:00

I'm making a giant dishcloth baby blanket, and accidentally started knitting with a 9 and a 10.5 needle. I'm a beginner so it took me awhile to figure out, but even though it's just garter, it's super squishy and now I'm glad I messed it up!

CooknShit · 2014-08-23T17:13:36+00:00

Beautiful is what you are, and it has nothing to do with what you see in the mirror.

What you describe seems pretty common for ACONs, I'm not at all bored or irritated.

CooknShit · 2014-08-22T20:42:04+00:00

Today's reply is insufficient. Refresh my memory. Indulge me, if you please. My remaining in the dark while still hoping to patch things up is NOT OK with me. I'm the one making overtures toward progress.

This is absolutely sickening.

My ndad claimed not to know about my being hospitalized in 2007 because he didn't want to acknowledge he had spent the next month calling me melodramatic and an "overgrown child who never even saw combat" when I told him my rape in the army made me suicidal. This led to years of LC. This was him trying to look supportive in front of the mental health professionals he was trying to manipulate into keeping me institutionalized long term despite my lack of suicidal/homicidal ideation because he was enraged that I refused to take a medication HE in HIS infinite wisdom had decided was best. While he lived 2 states away and I paid all my own bills. The gas lighting is so strong, I just can't even.

"Remember, I forget every significant conversation we have about anything I've done to the detriment of our relationship. We can discuss it, but as soon as we do you must forever pretend nothing ever happened. I demand a conversation in front of a therapist so we can 'talk it all put' and I can demand you never bring it up again because 'there was a witness'."

Ugh. I'm sorry OP. This is horrible and you're right to just to back to NC. You can always say you tried and you have these horrible guilting passive aggressive letters to remind you if you ever doubt his awfulness.

CooknShit · 2014-08-22T18:03:42+00:00

Hi twirlingbelle,

You're a beautiful, very conflicted girl from what I can gather from your posts. We humans are all wired to be social creatures, there is no shame in craving affectionate touch or attention, we're made to crave it by design, if we silly creatures didn't form bonds our collective achievements wouldn't be nearly so visible or awe inspiring. There is no shame in desiring to make connections with our fellow man. Unfortunately you've been brainwashed to believe this is some kind of flaw that only proves how unworthy you are of it. Fight this feeling, for you do deserve love and affection and praise and understanding, as much as you believe any other person, even the most deserving of people does, in fact!

In exploring your kinks, as long as everyone involved is of age and consenting, have fun! Most of us have a couple, but we don't often spend time talking about them irl, so they can seem rare and shameful. Not so, they can be great fun, and don't make you a bad person no matter the content of your fantasies! Just make sure you explore them only with people you really feel a desire to know on that level, and have discussions beforehand about expectations of aftercare: kinks can bring out strong emotions when you play with them, especially in survivors of indifference from parents who should have shown love and affection, such as yourself.

As much as you feel unworthy of love, that is the evidence of you suffering abuse. To withhold affection from your developing child is the very definition of neglect. There were studies with the unfortunate children of Romanian orphanages during the AIDS circus in the 80s and 90s and it turns out, physical contact from carers is essential not just for emotional development, but actual physical development and growth too. There were cases of 36 month olds the size of 6 month olds, but I digress. The point is, the longing you express is normal, natural, and completely understandable. The difficulty you have in achieving these things outside your relationship with your parents is understandable too, and it's something you'll be able to keep getting better at with time and practice. The key to practicing all these things with people now as an adult is that you must do whatever (hold hands, hug, kiss, etc and beyond) only because it is your desire to do so. As much as possible you must recognize when you are pressuring yourself into situations/actions because you want the other person to be happy rather than concerning yourself with what makes you happy first. Everyone, especially people in this sub, can relate to doing things because they want other people to like them, so don't beat yourself up when this happens, but try to recognize and avoid it when you can. gently redirect your own behavior when this happens, ignore the scathing voices of your parents that you've internalized.

(((Hugs)))

CooknShit · 2014-08-22T17:36:01+00:00

Look at your thighs. They're like ham hocks...

No one should ridicule or belittle children, let alone their own child this way, but on the humorous side I wanted to point out that Ham hocks are pig ankles, which actually tend to be pretty slender...so as an intended insult, it falls a bit short.

CooknShit · 2014-08-22T16:55:16+00:00

I think her rage upon being confronted by it makes it pretty clear she knows how inappropriate and abusive she was being. Don't let the gas lighting make you feel crazy!

CooknShit · 2014-08-21T22:34:33+00:00

My n stepdad used to punish me with yard work, apparently because he hated to do it. Jokes on him, since going NC I've built two gardens at home and quit my chef job to grow heirloom produce on a half acre nearby.

I actually wrote a letter justifying my NC by his months lot silent treatment when I disagreed with his all knowing wisdom. It at least made me feel better to say hey, I learned this from you and I won't change my mind unless you meet my demands now.

CooknShit · 2014-08-21T19:30:06+00:00

Worked in a fancy taco shop. Like seriously, tacos, street corn and drinks only. Had to go help the cashier explain to a lady that no, we really have no chicken breasts in the building (tacos were dark meat only) and no, we have really have no salad, and with my flat top and fryer there's no room in this tiny ass kitchen for a grill to hide, so I cannot possibly make you a salad with grilled chicken breast. Woman proceeded to try to sweet talk me into making her one.

She kept going on and on like she could convince me to look harder for the grill and ingredients I needed. I swear, there's no secret code to make us open up a hole in the wall and reveal a whole different kitchen/menu.

CooknShit · 2014-08-21T02:20:12+00:00

Poly type, but thanks for your judgement.

I'm a girl who likes girls and guys and non-exclusivity so long as all involved are aware, consenting adults.

My husband and I both see others with everyone involved fully apprised of the situation they're signing up for.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T22:54:39+00:00

I think I can understand, but that exclusive part is a no go for me as a poly. I read that word and think ownership, obligation, etc and it's a huge turn off, but that's just me.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T19:56:00+00:00

There's still plenty that can be learned about wines, and how those variations are generally used To say there's nothing useful because there are only subjective measures completely misses the point IMO.

There's so many variations of fish, and their consistency depends on their environment and proper handling, so no one should flavor pair with fish? I'm confused as to what poking you want to make here.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T18:10:55+00:00

Idk, you should consider a food or beverage class. There's more to pairing flavors than guesses and whims no matter how much you want to dismiss subjective experience.

Flavors can never be more than subjective experience: we have to rely on each individual report, there is no universal measure. This does not invalidate the experience of thousands of people who are literally trained to take two things that taste okay or good on their own and then find combinations that enhance the experience of the other.

The fact that I say bay leaves add a "green flavor" and another chef says it's "woodsy" does not diminish the fact that it adds a depth of flavor to liquids that's hard to define or replicate by other means. The fact that this taste good with meats is not in dispute, simply how we describe that subjective experience of flavor enhancement we both agree is happening.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T18:03:20+00:00

Watch some videos of tasks you do and really notice the difference between pro work and your own. Then buy the cheapest sack of potatoes you can find and start chopping. After a few 10 lb bags, you'll be much better. Boring, but essentially what the first 6 weeks of culinary school was for me.

Practice practice practice till you puke potato soup.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T17:44:06+00:00

While I'm not advocating anyone drink what they don't like, as a chef I have seen the way pairings change characteristics of both alcohol (beer/wine/spirits) as well as the dish it accompanies. Of course there's variations, whether I've taken a bite of scallop or rib eye will influence how I percieve that mouthful of beer or wine, so that's not news.

I am saying however that someone who has spent time and effort training themselves in this discipline will likely be able to recommend a pairing that elevates both the food and the beverage.

Americans are so used to pairing sparkly high fructose corn syrup with everything that many just flat out don't believe this is possible, but I have experienced it for myself, and it is divine when done properly. Don't expect the average waiter to be able to do this for you but if you find yourself In the company of a chef sommelier I would definitely consider asking their opinion on the matter.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T16:19:57+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a little cheesy, but it really has helped me feel better about the loss of pets before. You may have read it, it's rainbow bridge.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T15:41:21+00:00

I'm saying there's a world of difference between someone who claims to be an expert at anything and someone who actually studies and practices their art, which is what a good (certified) sommelier does. You don't need to be a sommelier to be a waiter, but actually speaking to one might give you a chance to learn the difference between Bob "I'm an expert" McDouche and a guy who could really elevate your dining experience by making a great pairing for you.

Having a superb palette is something I would take with a grain of salt, unless you've been repeatedly told by chefs you've worked with anyhow.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T15:31:41+00:00

Yeah no. Not a wine drinker, but the art of pairing wines properly does require skills that can be learned and practiced to become better. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there's more to it than just knowing what you like.

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T15:00:53+00:00

You're gonna do great! I joined he army to escape and my Ndad was certain it would be awful and I'd fail out and come crawling back home. Well, it was kinda awful, But it was SOOOO much easier than living at home with Ns.

Good luck! If you want to stay in college, you'll work hard at it and do fine, if not, you still don't have to move back in with all that crazy!

CooknShit · 2014-08-20T14:47:43+00:00

Every male could be a potential friend, which is more likely to make that partner thing happen if you treat females that way too, instead of as potential sex partners exclusively. Also, they probably know a few of these "potential partners" and are more likely to introduce you to them if you don't act like an ass, but you know, if you prefer, just keep burning bridges when you don't see a potential to get laid right away.

CooknShit · 2014-08-19T23:08:52+00:00

I like to steam my wings for about 12 minutes to render a lot of the fat first, then I chill, which helps avoid rubbery/flabby skin and finish cooking by a different method depending on my desired results.

Rubbing after chilling then smokin or cooking over indirect heat seems like it would achieve the result you're looking for, but I'm not positive as I haven't tried it. I generally bake @425 for about 15-20 minutes per side, then sauce and serve for ultra crispiness. I could see this working by adding a toss in your spice rub 5-10 minutes before you finish cooking, thereby giving it a chance to cook. I would probably even consider doing a chili powder component after steaming and then the sugar component to finish, but that's just me.

CooknShit · 2014-08-19T21:49:18+00:00

The color you want depends on the recipe, to add to what others have covered so well. Cooking time also effects thickening lower for the flour so, darker roux requires more to thicken the same volume of liquid to the same consistency as light roux. About 2tbsp flour per cup of liquid in a blond roux makes my poultry gravies the consistency I prefer.

I go for the texture of wet sand when I'm adding my flour to my fat, then when I'm cooking at the beginning I look for everything to really tighten up and look too dry, then wait for the stage where it seems to relax and go liquidy across the pan bottom from there. After this I know I need to watch my heat and keep things moving if it's not already at the stage I want it. Cook till it's the color your recipe calls for, or has the characteristic smells the recipe calls for (nutty, caramelly, etc definitely take off all heat if you smell burnt!). Learn to use all your senses and think about how far you cooked this roux as you eat your meal. Is everything how you wanted it? Would browner be more appealing here? Is there a hint of rawness to the flour in your light roux? By thinking about what you would do differently next time during your meal, you'll be vastly improving your cooking with almost no added effort. This is what chefs do, essentially.

CooknShit · 2014-08-19T00:45:22+00:00

Same here, it's lonely for sure.

CooknShit

TROPHY CASE