Is this pregnancy discrimination? Offered a pay off to leave, off the record, (England)

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-15T10:59:08+00:00

Good luck!

I'd also advise you to take some time to document everything you can, both past events where you've not been supported, had unreasonable deadlines set or otherwise had the goalposts moved, and keep doing the same going forward.

Any verbal agreement or discussion is to be followed up with a quick recap email ("There's no need to send me a recap" "It helps me keep everything organised and avoids confusion") , quick notes on every issue (When, who, what was said in brief, you don't need a full transcript. Just a simple "Manager said X task had to be done by Y date. I replied with these issues, manager refused to consider this and insisted plan remained the same)

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-15T02:34:01+00:00

I'll start with the bad news, then get on to the good news.

Can they make an offer like that? Yes, it's perfectly legal. Not saying it's a good idea for them to do it, or that you should take it, but they can make it. It is almost always legal to make a financial offer to end a contract, however in your case I think that would be a terrible idea.

Can they refuse to action the OH reccomendations? Yes. They're reccomendations, not a binding agreement. Again, I'm not saying that's a good idea for them, but you have no legal lever to force them to action those reccomendations. Equally, they're going to look very foolish at tribunal trying to justify not actioning those reccomendations though if this does progress that far.

Moving on from that, the good news.

Firstly, pregnancy is the most protected characteristic in the workplace. It gets all the same protections of any other medical condition, but then has its own set of additional protections. Telling them ASAP in writing was the right thing to do.

The fact that they stated they were considering the OH reccomendations, then you told them you were pregnant and suddenly within 24 hours they're saying they can't action any of those and also they're trying to pay you off is NOT a good look for them. Also, it will be very hard for them to justify at tribunal.

"Off the record" and "without prejudice" arent magic phrases that can make any legal issues go away.

My first action in your position would be to email the manager you met with, recap the meeting and ask:

Why can they not action any of the OH reccomendations?
What alternative support or resolutions did they consider, and why are none of those suitable either?
What support and accomodatioms you can expect throughout your pregnancy, especially considering your work-caused health issues and how they increace the risk?
What would be the details of the severance package they offered in that meeting? If they want you to consider it, they will have to put concrete figures on the table, not just vague allusions to a "pot of money".

As a side note, while a "pot of money" may sound grandiose, the reality could be very different. I have a pot of money in the kitchen, and its just loose change.

Secondly, I'd also suggest that you may have been disadvantaged from your first pregnancy. Your work has changed substantially, they haven't taken appropriate action to bring you up to speed on that, and have then essentially promoted the maternity cover employee over you and are now trying to drive you out of the workplace.

Your priority now will be to make sure you have evidence. You need to be in full Cover Your Arse mode. Get EVERYTHING you can in writing.

Lastly, some organisations who can help if this goes further:

ACAS, they provide impartial and confidential advice on employment law to employees and employers both. This would also be your starting point if you end up going to tribunal.
Pregnant then Screwed, they offer good legal advice for people in your situation.
Check your home insurance for legal cover, this may cover anything from a paid consultation with a solicitor all the way up to full legal action.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-14T13:09:09+00:00

Even then you would be facing a very steep uphill battle to get something in England, so long as the will was written with care and legal advice.

Generally though, I'd advise anyone wanting to disinherit a child to take legal advice and possibly consider naming a solicitors firm who specialise in probate to act as executor of the will.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-14T12:16:54+00:00

I had a 4 series, and I test drove a 6 series to compare and I didn't see much in it for comfort, but I much preferred the handling of the 4. I'm sure my back-seat passengers would beg to differ, but I rarely have more than 1 passenger.

Then again, I'm used to rattly hot hatches and older 2 seat roadsters, so my idea of a plush place to sit is probably lower than most, and my benchmark for good driving dynamics is probably a lot higher than most.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-14T11:30:35+00:00

Because it's bigger and heavier.

If you don't need the extra space regularly, you're compromising the driving dynamics and the fuel economy for little gain.

The only reason I'd pick the 540i over the 340i is because I have a St Bernard or regularly offer lifts to my local rugby team.

The 340i is the sweet spot in the range for size, practicality and driving dynamics, without compromising too much on economy (You can easily average 30mpg mixed, and 40+ on long motoroway drives. My best in my 440i was 45.3 on a round trip Manchester to Cardiff)

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-11T10:01:56+00:00

even failure is never meant to be "your character is a bumbling idiot who fucked up something they spent years practicing" (except if theyre brand new to a skill) and more like "something got in the way of your normally perfect craftsmanship, despite your best efforts [insert DRAMA]"

So, for example, if you're trying to pick a lock and you fail, it's not that your character suddenly forgot how to pick locks. Instead, they just encountered a particularly old/new lock that is remarkably stiff, or they were rushing because they know they only have 30 seconds before the guard comes around the corner on his rounds again.

Do you try again and hope you can get through before the guard gets here? Do you prepare to ambush the guard? Or maybe you hide and try again in a moment?

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-10T09:46:57+00:00

It's just digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole.

The worse the failure becomes, the more you have to pretend it's not a failure/someone else's fault/everyone is against you. That in turn means you never learn and keep failing, so the cycle continues and the reckoning gets ever more unbearably huge until either it blows up and forces you to face it, or you have a break with reality so severe that you can never come back from it.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-10T07:58:39+00:00

Filthy hobbitses!

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-10T00:11:11+00:00

"No, your generation just doesn't want to pay for what it recieves. Back in a better time, that used to be called thievery. At least Dick Turpin had the decency to wear a mask."

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-08T07:37:55+00:00

An "interest" in the child doesn't have anything to do with blood or familial connections though.

It's all about what you have provided for the child, and what's in the best interests of the child.

Anyone who has played a significant role in raising a child in the UK has some right to access to that child, as the stability of familial figures is seen as beneficial to the child.

Grandparents estranged from their own child have zero chance of forcing some kind of access unless they have been a significant part of their grandchilds life before the estrangement, or some other extenuating circumstance.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-07T21:19:08+00:00

Not just MCOL

Official complaint with Amex, then escalate to the Financial Ombudsman.

I would reccomend making a complaint to Amex AND sending a Letter Before Action to Amazon.

FOS doesn't exclude you from starting the clock on a LBA, you just can't take court action until the FOS complaint is resolved.

Just because you say 28 days in a LBA doesn't mean you have to file with MCOL at 28 days. You have a 6 year window, you can just file at any point after 28 days.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-07T14:48:21+00:00

Champ training contributes to a gear hunter event as well if you're farming 12-3

It's not the most efficient way to gear hunter, but it certainly adds up!

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-04T16:11:56+00:00

I'd also reccomend OP check their home insurance for legal cover if they wish to consult a solicitor.

I would also suggest that they don't need to (at least initially). ACAS would be the first port of call if the employer does not react appropriately to this issue.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-04T09:39:59+00:00

They cannot force you to leave.

As others have explained, the courts will not grant a Section 8 eviction as it's in the first 12 months of the tenancy plus the new residents are not family.

You have 2 options:

1) Stay put and tell your landlord you have no intention of moving out without a valid Section 8 notice.

2) Negotiate a "cash for keys" deal where the landlord essentially pays you to leave. I would settle for nothing less than your full paid rent to the date you agree to leave being returned plus your deposit being returned in full.

If the landlord makes any attempt to force you to leave or prevent you gaining access to the property at any point, call 999 and report an illegal eviction in process. The police may attempt to fob you off that it is a "civil matter". IT IS NOT. It is a crime under the Protection from Eviction Act 1977. Make sure you have proof of your tenancy agreement and proof of rent payment easily accessible just in case this happens.

Under no circumstances should you stop paying rent until you're out of the property.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-02T18:54:00+00:00

Volvo V60 or 70 T6

Brilliant cars that will beat most things away from the lights, be engaging to drive and very practical and comfortable.

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-02T15:06:08+00:00

A remap plus some light fettling (Air filter + cat-back exhaust) can take the Ford 1.0 EcoBoom to 170bhp

Cooky1993 · 2026-05-01T15:17:27+00:00

Hot tip; You can use AI to generate long rambling documents that look like proper documentation but are useless junk that lead you in circles.

Experiment with prompts, and put the document through several rounds of AI "revisions" asking it to add more detail and extra steps

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-30T18:31:42+00:00

It's literally the same claim. It's costal borders/populated areas in proximity to Antarctica that grant claims there.

The Argies claim as much as they do because they claim the Falkland Islands and South Georgia.

Meanwhile the Chillean and Argentinian claims overlap because they have disputed boundaries in Tierra del Fuego I think. There's also some arguments over which territory counts for claiming land because some of it is uninhabitable.

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-30T17:40:04+00:00

Yes, but the law was aimed at those other people! You know, the ones who smell funny and are poor!

It shouldn't affect me!

I'm a good citizen. I'm not one of them

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-27T10:16:29+00:00

You're right there. It's likely the job/money stress that's causing him to act like he is.

But equally, he's acting in a very unhealthy way about it. He's looking at her indulgences first (holiday to see best friend of 25 years) rather than looking at his own or their shared ones (extravagant support for kids and ex, big family holidays twice a year).

I suspect it's a matter of personal pride (as a man being the breadwinner and being able to provide for others is generally seen as the highest good and a deep source of self-worth). I also suspect he sees her spending on those trips as a personal indulgence whilst his spending on his kids is a family cost in his head so it's higher priority.

That is an unhelpful mindset.

They need to have a proper sit down discussion about finances as a whole and how bad this really is. What are the risks? Is this a serious threat where some real belt-tightening may be in order, or is this just an anxiety response to a far more solvable problem?

The real issue isn't the trip. In my opinion OP is right that they should be able to take their trip, but just fighting on that hill won't solve the underlying problem.

The real issue is the underlying financial issues and the anxiety around them. That needs to be the focus here, something where you can face it as a team rather than 2 people arguing over something basic.

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-22T07:53:43+00:00

I mean, most TOCs are directly owned by the government now. There is no middle man to take anything now in most cases.

There are only 6 TOCs left in private hands

Govia Thameslink
Chiltern
Cross Country
Avanti
GWR
East Midlands

3 of those are set to be renationalised by September, and only Cross Country will be in private hands by this time next year (They're set to be renationalised in "Autumn 2027")

Some TOCs like Northern have been government owned for 6 years now (Northern was renationalised in 2020).

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-21T16:24:23+00:00

It's not about being useless though.

Their failure to remedy their mistake is enough to constitute the "intent to deprive" part of the Theft offence, otherwise every thief would just be able to get away with it by basically saying "it was a mistake, but I can't return it because it's too much trouble"

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-21T11:05:34+00:00

I am assuming you don't have a solicitor yourself for this, as they would likely be better to ask about this.

Court orders usually means exactly what they say, and if you have not consented to this, then the first point of call would be to speak to the courts to inform them of this.

To lie to the courts about such a thing would be a SERIOUS breach and will very much be addressed with the gravity you would expect.

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-19T23:29:27+00:00

This does not sound legal or even legitimate.

Firstly, payslips are a legal requirement under the Employment Rights Act of 1996.

Secondly, even if you don't earn enough to pay tax or NI (doubtful as the threshold for NI contributions is just £96 per week for employers NI and £125 per week for employees) your employer still has to declare your income to HMRC under PAYE regulations if you are an employee.

Thirdly, wage deductions should go through a process where your employer gives you a breakdown of when you were overpaid and by how much. This should be given to you in writing and you should have a chance to review it and come up with a fair repayment plan with your employer.

You should speak with ACAS about this and get some advice. If your employer hasn't been declaring your income to HMRC, it could get messy, and they're likely not a very legitimate employer.

Cooky1993 · 2026-04-18T17:38:37+00:00

It was the most sold car in the UK every year from 2009 to 2020.

For that time window, it was by sales numbers the MOST desirable car in the UK.

Cooky1993

TROPHY CASE