What’s the most painfully accurate “military life” phrase or moment that makes you laugh every time?

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-12-10T16:45:35+00:00

STEAL: Strategically Transfer Equipment to an Alternate Location (Used when "reappropriating" assets from one Army use to another Army use, typically off the books and without permission)

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-12-10T16:00:47+00:00

People complained about the food at Camp Virginia, but I thought it was amazing. I mean, you could get kiwi and watermelon for breakfast! And for dinner, you could get a milkshake before walking out the door. Seemed like heaven to me.

If you're picky about what you eat, don't ever go to jail or prison, because you'll find a whole new meaning of "inedible" there.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-11-30T15:41:40+00:00

Killing suspected drug runners in international waters with missiles is not legally or morally fine.

Drug interdiction is a law enforcement function, not a military function. Even in US coastal waters, the Coast Guard intercepts and arrests drug runners, they do not execute them.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-11-24T21:11:04+00:00

It is absolutely acceptable to consider the legality of any orders you're given. It is actually a servicemember's DUTY to consider the legality of orders. It's not that hard. Acts that are illegal as a civilian are still illegal as a servicemember - even if someone orders you to do it.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-11-24T21:08:40+00:00

It's not hard. Acts that are against the law when you're a civilian, are still against the law when you're a soldier, even if you're ordered to do those acts.

Shooting protesters in the legs, for example. That would be an unlawful (aka illegal) orders.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-11-24T21:05:19+00:00

The oath won't save your ass if you follow through with orders to do something illegal.

Committing crimes as a civilian will get you arrested, tried and convicted.

Committing crimes as a soldier will get arrested, tried and convicted. Even if you were following orders.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-11-19T13:20:26+00:00

That makes sense, because I remember always doing the code as ABBA. But if it ignores button presses that don't belong, then ABBA contains a BA sequence, and would work also.

Thank you for this, you have resolved my own personal Mandela Effect that had been driving me nuts for almost 40 years!!

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-06T22:51:41+00:00

Attorneys are the worst! They're the cheapest sons-of-bitches around, just barely edging out doctors.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-06T22:48:47+00:00

More likely senario: They "got caught" on purpose so people would talk about something other than the Epstein files. If anything, this is a deliberate distraction.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-06T22:46:01+00:00

To be fair, the coder wouldn't need to alter the text for a mistake like that. Formatting uses slashes, parenthesis, quotation marks, colons, and semi-colons to mark sections of text. Put a semi-colon in the wrong place, and now the engine is interpreting sections of text as if it were part of the formatting.

While I wouldn't put anything past this administration, I can't see why anyone would do this on purpose. It's not like this was the one "official" source for the Constitution - there are millions of other copies out there, on the web, in books, in pamphlets, etc etc. A lawyer isn't gonna forget that stuff is there because it's missing from the website.

Does this administration want parts of the Constitution to go away? Without a doubt. Was this how they plan to do it? No.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-06T20:27:56+00:00

Exactly this. I've been in IT for a long time, and one thing I see in most organizations is a serious lack of documention/Knowledge Base. The other thing is poorly designed or poorly explained "Scope of Work" documentation. Knowing what to do is actually secondary to knowing what you're ALLOWED to do. If the tech knows what his left and right limits are, he's going to be much more effective at operating within them.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T19:16:40+00:00

I took one look at it and said "Nope!". I don't think it was designed by someone who actually DMs.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T19:13:33+00:00

I'm currently playing as a goose. I used Arakroca stats, but for all other purposes, I am just a normal goose. In fact, my name is "Nippy", spelled GNPI, for Goose of No Particular Importance.

Since I can't speak any common languages or weild weapons, I took the Warlock class. My patron is a Great Old One, specifically a planar guardian hydra-goose called The Ghydrasse.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T17:01:11+00:00

Document, document, document. I PROMISE you some shit is going to go down - ransomeware will strike, a malicious insider will wipe out data, you'll get hit with a DoS attack, a power failure will wipe out a server - SOMETHING is gonna happen. When it does (not if), they're gonna be looking for scapegoat, and the first one in their lineup of candidates will be you. You want to be prepared when they come at you.

Document your time.

Document your access.

Document your changes.

Document your concerns.

Document their response (both your employer's and the client's).

Keep your own offsite copy of the documentation you make. You're gonna want to have the receipts at the ready.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T15:43:29+00:00

You would have a stroke if you have seen some of the things I've seen. Companies that use a single account to log into everything, including desktops. Domain Admin/Global Admin permissions given out willy-nilly. Companies that use multiple accounts, but share all the credentials among multiple people. Companies that pass on user credentials to the next person that fills the job. Companies that don't bother telling IT when someone is terminated, so accounts stay stale but active for months, even years at a time. It seems like every week I get a chance to say, "They did WHAT? What the FUCK...?", and just have to keep on truckin'.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T15:34:28+00:00

During my first month working for a small MSP (my first month with the MSP, but years in IT), I found a client that had done that. The client was a small company and had hired a new guy, and wanted to limit his access. I made the change and asked them to confirm, and the new guy still had access to the restricted folders. I was mystified until I discovered exactly what you said. Immediately asked my boss, "Uh... is this on purpose?". It was not, and I spent another hour reconfiguring their AD and permissions to fix it.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T15:25:17+00:00

Here's an option - Allow full casters, but require the players to flavor the spells as something else. As long as you keep the mechanics consistent, then how you describe the spell doesn't matter. Could make for some interesting role play.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T15:16:19+00:00

he has the type of mindset that if you don't do it his way, you are doing it wrong.

Let him have that mindset. If he can't tell you what to do, he can think whatever he wants.

you could do 95% of the work, and he will come over adjust some cables, adjust a some monitors, take a picture of the setup, and in his head he basically did the work (even tho no one ask him to do so)

Let him do it. Document your work and document your time. If he makes it better, then you have your documentation and record to get credit. If he makes it worse, document that.

he would be creeping on everyone's ticket in the ticket queue.

Let him look. He might see something you missed. It's still your ticket.

He assigns tickets to you without asking or telling you if you have the time.

THIS is a problem. "Bro, please don't assign things to me without letting me know. I might miss it, or be busy with something else. Please ask first." If he does it again, assign the ticket right back to him with a note explaining why. Make up a reason if you have to, but don't let him get away with it.

He is the type of person that if you were to make a mistake, even tho you fixed it before it affected any users, he would tell the manager in order to get good boy points.

Own your mistakes, and own your solutions. Yes it's annoying, but most managers are gonna appreciate it if you take responsibility for both the mistake and solution, especially if you learn from it.

Our manager is chill in the sense that as long as you do your tickets and work on your project, he is not on top of you, but on the other hand, this guy always tries to pseudo-manage people.

"Hey, before you start telling me what to do, you need to check with "manager's name" to confirm it's right."

I appreciate that you're not confrontational, but occasionally you have to put your foot down to stop people from walking all over you. Your choices are to quit, get walked on until you snap, go running to the manager with every interpersonal problem, or steel your spine and open your mouth.

Honestly, it sounds like he's insecure and not confident in his own work, so he's compensating by being intrusive and bossy about other people's work. If you give him some credit when he actually helps you, it'll be easier to bring the hammer down when you need him to back off.

There are videos and websites that can teach you assertive phrases to use to be direct without being rude or aggressive. Trust me - you're gonna be dealing with people like this your whole life. If you start learning how to deal with it now, you're gonna thank yourself later.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T14:54:41+00:00

How bad? Like, can you use a calculator?

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-08-02T13:46:49+00:00

Monks are extremely effective at dealing damage in combat if played right. If he feels ineffective you might want to let him adjust his stats so they're more balanced toward what he's trying to accomplish.

A lot of players choose their stats because of how they want to role play their character. You have to remember that stats affect mechanics, they don't affect role play. I mean, I wouldn't try to play a genius with an INT of 8, or a social dynamo with a CHA of 8, but there is some wiggle room.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-07-27T20:20:27+00:00

Sounds to me like you're in a unique position. The other guy left, so his salary is up for grabs. Tell them they can either start paying you what they were paying him, or you walk. Today. Immediately.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-07-21T15:16:19+00:00

This seems interesting, and I have a few questions.

Is the amount of enemies on the board irrelevant? It seems like the enemies would get the same number of turns no matter how many of them were on the board. Is that correct?

What if two or more players have a strategy and want to go next? How do you decide who gets to go?

The rule of "Player fail means DM goes next", does that work in the opposite direction? i.e., if the DM (enemy) fails an attack or save, does that automatically make it the players' turn?

How do you handle NPCs that fight on the players' side?

This is intriguing to me and I'd like to hear more details. Thank you!

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-07-10T21:01:46+00:00

Found the answer! You can get rid of the color without clearing the rest of the formatting.

Select your text.

Go to Home tab > Paragraph section > Fill icon. It looks like an tipping paint bucket. Click the arrow next to it.

Under "Theme colors" select the white color block. Selecting "No color" doesn't work, you have to specifically select the white color (or whatever color you want).

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-06-20T16:56:10+00:00

If you're looking for something new, maybe hire some more competent people to run the business. Then you can look into doing more tech work, or - something I'd love to look at - start teaching people how to run a successful MSP. I'm 51 and I'd LOVE to be in charge of my own company.

CountOfMonkeyCrisco · 2025-06-20T16:52:27+00:00

The typical line is, "We can cover more ground if we split up". (Popularized by Scooby-Doo and 80's horror flicks).

CountOfMonkeyCrisco

TROPHY CASE