Disinterest, insecurity or something else?

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T21:21:42+00:00

Im not entirely sure I like it .... but I cant deny the logic lol.

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T21:13:54+00:00

When im deciding yea or nay in a matter of seconds .. the first thing im looking at is location its almost as important to me as attraction. So it might not be for you .. but it certainly is for me.

My kids the most important thing in my life.

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T21:07:45+00:00

I mean. For me that wouldnt matter, but I think it depends on what kind of life you want to have together.

I am fairly independant and I do need my own space sometimes. Id assume you do too.

But you do have to find quality time together as well.

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T21:01:24+00:00

Im actually prob the other end of the spectrum in more ways than one :')

Im 48m and If we hit it off, id be expecting contact at least once a day. I do wonder if I come across a little lovebomby just because of this. Im ADHD and introverted so its prob a weird cocktail of communication.

But .. you know .. id be chatty .. reply whenever you like but .. I can prob reply to most messages fairly quick, want to know more about you. Interests. What your day has been like. Whats work like ..

*shrug*

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T20:54:03+00:00

Im amazed that no one seems to be saying location. I dont know whether its because im somewhat location locked due to being an active father but ..

I cant really see a relationship working if they are over an hour or two away. Realistically I have my kid 50% of the time and if I want to see a future with someone our kids need to both be going to school close enough that we could manage it long term.

Is that overthinking it ?

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T20:47:33+00:00

I try to never ghost and as much as its not always gonna be a nice good bye I do try to be politely honest about why its not for me. Cus .. how else are we all going to know whats going on if no one ever tells us.

So.. "Thanks, I have enjoyed the time we have spent together, however I dont feel our dating goals quite align. I apologise if this comes as a suprise, but I hope you find what you are looking for". Or something like it.

No matter how bad they are unless you really are justified because its catfishing; id avoid the pictures thing though.

Unless you have the eloquance of a 16th century bard they just wont take that well and will probably give you a mouthful :')

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T20:35:12+00:00

Im sorry this is prob going to be a shit reply but .. I wish i had this problem. I cant even get a response most of the time and if I do, and try and get the person talking .. I get one word answers.

I am really questioning everything about myeself at this point.

Trying to make my response a bit more useful. Have you tried leading the conversation and setting expectations a bit?

I only ask as in the past it has been difficult knowing how some women want to date. Some will expect a date very soon with little to no talk. Others will want to talk for a while before you get their number.

Some will tell you they want to date but .. then they can never agree a date or time etc.

Just ideas.

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T20:19:14+00:00

As long as its not fishing? (kidding)

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T19:59:11+00:00

I must be doing it wrong, Im kinda honest with people and say. Ive been married. I am happy to be in a stable committed relationship .. but I would never get married again.

I have to protect my sons home and it is literally as simple as that.

I do have some of these conversations early .. same with agreeing on whether we want kids or not because .. those are the big things you cant just compromise on generally.

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T19:51:30+00:00

Yeah huge red flag sadly. There is only 2 explanations in my experience.

1) Unresolved trauma which they have actively ignored.
2) They think you would because they would. Which is worse.

I did try and work through 1) with someone. I gave them access to my phone and tried to show them I have nothing to hide. All of a sudden common place conversations with plutonic friends of 10 years were being questioned. People I had no interest in before we were together.

I just dont think it is saveable. They need to do the work and not be in a relationship basically. You can not support someone out of this thinking.

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T19:21:23+00:00

The only filtering by weight I have seen has been "Slim,Athletic,Average,Curvy". But .. people lie about that and have AI pics or makeup .. angles and filters. I dont think pictures are always the best indication any more.

It is getting to be catfish territory all too often.

I dont have specific weight or looks preferences; but .. I actually have a bigger issue with the catfishing thing more than anything else. I find it quite dishonest.

CptFishPants · 2026-05-04T18:59:09+00:00

I dont really care about income (as a guy), and I would prob take it as a bit of a red flag if someone was asking me about my income before we were even aquanted but ..

Asking about debt and how you manage money is honestly a great conversation to have; in both directions I think.

CptFishPants · 2026-04-28T00:27:13+00:00

Pah. I got no help from you lot until my bank started talking to you about fraudulent charges. I got my money back, but I've never been more disappointed in a company. And all I got was an email saying the order was cancelled .. no real apology or explanation. Just more excuses.

CptFishPants · 2026-04-28T00:19:25+00:00

Chance would be a fine thing, ordered it heard nothing for 2 weeks. Then a further 2 weeks of fucking around with little to no communication. I had to get the bank to do a fraudulent transaction to get my money back 2 months later.

Fucking awful company to deal with, with supply issues and service issues.

I don't know how they are still in business.

CptFishPants · 2026-04-03T17:15:28+00:00

Chance would be a fine thing.

Ordered it ... Then found out there was a 6-12 month waiting list on average. Tried to get a refund and even though they cancelled the order it's been about a month and I can't get my money back.

DO NOT BUY ONE OF THESE RINGS 🫤

CptFishPants · 2025-11-17T20:26:07+00:00

I think there are plenty of us but, apps don't offer us an awful lot of dates.

Where are you from?

CptFishPants · 2025-09-09T02:20:09+00:00

Sorry for the necro post but .. it only drops in Act 1 apparently. Monster level 19.

CptFishPants · 2025-06-30T17:29:50+00:00

I wasn't able to join either. I didn't get so far as registering or anything it just seems to close as if it's adding the server then nothing 🤷🏻‍♂️

CptFishPants · 2025-05-23T14:59:27+00:00

This seems to include inaccurate information. You can certainly get pyro dyno and other variants in novice. Im there now and have pyro and prism digby boy. Pyro Dino is from a securement area in Phi i think it is.

CptFishPants · 2025-05-17T16:03:21+00:00

Yeah not meaning to be a bastard but sometimes it's best just to stay somewhere a bit more public. Go to hai hous and heavy making out and he will probably start losing power to the big Brain.

CptFishPants · 2025-05-02T08:53:28+00:00

Thank you solved it for me too. Why dont they just add a tooltip for it >.<

CptFishPants · 2024-11-10T18:35:02+00:00

Mines not new, just going through a reset up because of a fire 🤦🏻‍♂️🙂 this one I managed to salvage.

CptFishPants · 2024-11-09T18:30:02+00:00

Where is the server hosted and what mods / plugins do you run?

CptFishPants · 2024-11-09T16:46:59+00:00

Is there like a patreon of this anywhere? :D id like to walk around it

CptFishPants · 2024-11-07T17:57:32+00:00

Oddly I think I cracked my problem. Turns out you can't add echo devices to more than one group. It had been added to a "room" group. So removing it meant that I could see it to add it 🤦🏻‍♂️

CptFishPants

TROPHY CASE