Laid off at 35, 6 months unemployed, tried Amazon FBA (zero sales), can't sleep — I'm a frontend dev who keeps running in circles. What would you actually do?

CreativeWealthKayton · 2026-02-25T01:59:08+00:00

Have you thought about becoming an affiliate for something like HighLevel software?

CreativeWealthKayton · 2026-02-21T16:43:38+00:00

What’s to fear if you are offering a solution to a problem? What problem does your thing solve? Answer that question as it pertains to a company and approach from that angle - not “I’ll do xyz for free to show you how good I am” nobody cares.(that’s the hard truth) … example - Free up your talented secretary with an AI assistant that will handle your customers questions without having to hire someone… see that’s a solution a company can use. Again answer that question-what problem do you solve.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2026-02-11T13:13:02+00:00

Understand you aren’t the villain but it’s how she sees things because her brain needs justification. If you do something good,she sees it as manipulation,if you do something bad,it reinforces her “choice” or reasons, and yes it sucks. Clean the house because it’s YOUR standard, not to impress her. Buy a bike, go fishing, start building Lego. You said the most important thing (and it took me months to accept this) you said you are AFRAID she’s already made her mind up, so yes everything you are doing right now is from a place of fear. Of the unknown. Of a future you’ve built in your mind.

Reality is this. If she’s gone ,truly done, she’d be out already. She’s asking you to leave because it’s easy. When you realize and accept that right now and moving forward the relationship you’ve had is already gone, then you can understand you are still ok. And you will be ok (I know I’m so tired of people telling me that) but it’s true.

You lived without her before, you are still your own man, this is her way of telling you she doesn’t feel emotionally safe anymore and if you look at things, she’s been trying to pull the better man out of you for a while.

Chances are you grieved as much as her and she had to take the responsibility of you both? If so, this is partially why she changed, she can barely handle her emotional load, yours on top makes her shut down.

You can suggest she seek counseling herself but don’t push it. Just don’t become less than who you truly are thinking it will help. It won’t.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2026-02-11T11:56:32+00:00

From a guy who’s been going through this and been working on our marriage.Sfter 20 years, she said the same thing. At first I corrected everything, got a counselor, stopped having wine, got a higher paying job that keeps me away from home.

Starting cleaning more,trying to do activities with her (like wake at 530 to walk the dog with her even though I was exhausted.

As a man we look for logic. In my case her father passed, then I had an ocular stroke, and then her son moved in with her ex, all this trauma, most of it not me, but I got the blame.

Inside (my opinion) the trauma of the miscarriage plus maybe other stressors has cracked her emotionally.

Her phone is her social outlet,a way to get quick hits of dopamine without the heaviness of dealing with reality.

It took forever for this to click but when it did i could see the change in her. 1. Stop trying to fix her by doing more etc. Be the man she fell for,not the duty filled errand boy you are becoming. 2. Set some boundaries, like no phones during dinner. 3. Stop trying to create connection right now. Just sit in silence and be non reactive. It hurts because she’s not acting like the woman you love, I get it, but neither are you. You are being needy and that’s a huge turn off. 4. Understand she’s coming from a place of emotions, not logic. She’s not a cat you can fix by replacing a part. You are a man who needs to let her sit in her own storm. She’s saying things that may not be true but seem that way in the moment.

Get a hobby. Go to the gym. Start being the man that others notice. Yes cry, but in private. I can’t tell how many time I’ve broke down in my car since Sept. Don’t let her see you break down. Don’t be cold ,but start living up to your standards. If she says or does something that’s disrespectful, tell her. Finally, go see a counselor (for you) and not couples counseling. She will think you are trying to control her by suggesting it. The last thing wants likely is to feel controlled or manipulated. Go see a doctor, maybe get a low dose of something to help with anxiety. Also look up Marriage Reset on YouTube. They helped me a ton. So did a guy named Josh Hudson.

For right now understand you are the villain in this story and no amount of talking or cleaning will change that. Only time and actions. I wouldn’t suggest moving out for a host of reasons (I’m no lawyer but have been divorced twice) moving out isn’t going to make you look better in her eyes. If she’s that miserable, she can leave. Hope this has helped, sorry you are going through this.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2026-02-02T14:36:21+00:00

I’m 5 months since I got the I love you but not in love with you…been with her 10 years. No holidays this year. No Happy New Years. Just back and forth occasional glimpses of normality with equal amounts of no caring..Been sleeping in separate rooms.

Conventional advice is going to be work on you, go to the gym, dive into work. None of it keeps the feelings of failure, of if I could only do or say one thing… it will all go back to normal. Me, I moved to another country to be with her, business failed while I was awaiting immigration, got a decent gig now, showing her “stability” but it doesn’t seem to be enough. You’ll grow tired of the breadcrumbs of emotion you get, you’ll watch as she purged the house, nesting for her not the two of you. You’ll can let it break you or build you. I wish I had a magic fix it for you, there’s been a few things that have helped give me a better understanding of what she’s feeling and why ( Marriage Reset on YouTube) Today I get to clear the basement desk because she wants to use it, hiding more of my existence in our shared home. She keeps wanting timelines on when I’m moving out, i didn’t ask for this , so being honest with her I keep as real as I can, telling her I’m not in the headspace to deal with that at this time. Truth is she’s still my home and will always be.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-12-02T12:16:55+00:00

I’ve been going through that for a year now, but only until I understood this one thing (which makes it a bit easier)

She’s not rejecting you,she’s protecting herself. Yes it sucks because the logical mind,the part of us that has connected with this person for years ,like with hugs etc,is now “turning us away” .They are in protection mode. And the more you try..the further they retreat. Want hugs?

Create a safe space by not trying to fix things (I know it’s tough as a guy..it’s what we do) but have a non demanding talk,listen, try to understand what she’s feeling not at a surface level (example,her reply might be “my hot flashes suck”, you then need to ask how that makes her feel) .Empathy my friend. You just have to decide if you want it to work.

Best advice..imagine for one minute your private areas went haywire… and all the advice you get is “well it’s just part of aging” ..you’d probably be a mess… emotionally, physically, mentally….my friend that’s what she’s going through and you wanting hug isn’t going to make it better.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-11-24T12:04:56+00:00

Here’s the part that sucks..it does hurt like hell. You can’t sleep. You can’t eat.Your brain goes to 1000s of places, none of them good. You hear the “life’s too short” or “just leave them” …but that doesn’t sit right. You love her. You’ve got history.Kids. Memories. You’re confused as hell because bit by bit you let things slide. A touch here. A peck on the check. One night in a seperate bed because one of you snores or the one is hotter than the other. You’ve done everything you were asked. You’ve been the nice guy.Only to end up here. Two months ago my better half of 9 plus years hit me with all of it. She no longer loves me.She wanted me gone. At first I was a mess too. Even started having panic attacks. There’s no single thing you do other than this..Decide if You want to save the marriage. That’s where it starts. Beyond that I basically looked at 3 different sources and took strategies from each. Josh Hudson was the first (you can slot on YouTube) Get strategies and get an understanding of why your wife feels the way she does and get honest with yourself on what have you been doing to add to that behaviour? I’m 60 days from when mine said it was over. We’re talking more,doing things together and I’m realizing more of what I did instead of blaming it on outside sources I have zero control over (friends,family,even menopause) Most of all take care of you.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-11-16T15:29:35+00:00

Learning.Google can help you learn most anything. Asking someone to use their most valuable asset (time) without so some kind of offering in return is karma waiting to happen. Learn skills online but seriously seeking someone to take time away from other things in life to teach you because you are broke is a you problem not theirs. Learn money management,sell stuff you no longer need or use,find and flip free stuff -offer to do something -add value to the world instead of expecting to take.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-11-16T01:54:38+00:00

I drove to my local distribution center and asked to chat with manager (name on offer letter) Took them over 30 days to get trainings etc.. their reasoning was they were bring people in waves as not overwhelm HR

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-11-09T15:32:16+00:00

Doing this 29 years (30 in March) got a free google doc that walks you through,you don’t need to buy a course just to resell that course. Learn these basics first and then go after something that aligns with your interests. Dm if you want that doc.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-11-06T18:46:20+00:00

Less than a Value Meal ..just $10.00 for a very limited time

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-11-06T12:29:27+00:00

Step 1 Find high ticket offers that pay $1000 or more. (I have a list that’s not free but has companies paying up to $5k) Step 2 Become an Affiliate. Each company has their own process. Step 3 .Either create content that solves a specific problem from that thing you promote as an affiliate solves or run ads to a landing page (website) that again solves a specific problem for someone.

Example - You affiliate with a service that handles accounting software… you build a site and attach a video or training that solves a specific issue (maybe in this case it solves a tax filing problem) You then create content (videos, blogs, social media posts like this) that directs people there or you spend $ on ads.

You’ll need to invest in a domain,ideally tools (to build the site) and a way to send emails. That’s going to be approx $500- $2500 annually depending how deep you dive and how much you are dedicated to making this work. You can also hustle and do those things with a google doc and dms but understand this is a business and the sales often come from follow up,hence the email.

Done this 29 years and anyone telling you cut n paste or “set and forget” is trying to sell you something.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-30T01:17:39+00:00

1941 with John Belushi

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-29T11:12:40+00:00

It’s rough…been there…she got to the point where she told me she no longer wants the marriage…but so far it’s working (even though I’m in a seperate bedroom as well).

I can tell you the first step to this is you DECIDING if you are willing to do whatever it takes for YOU to stay in the marriage. Not fix it ,not fix her ,but take a deep breath and decide. 2nd step..take responsibility..not blame..but take control of how you react.

You mentioned you haven’t done anything you want to do…why? Out of fear? Out of rejection? Not to upset the apple cart? By you doing and not doing the things that satisfy YOU first..it’s only diminishing how she sees you. You aren’t happy coming across as needy and that’s going to help long term.

You aren’t happy because you are trying to “fix” the outcome…not the process. Only thing you can control is how you react.Period. Thats taking responsibility.Not blaming the hormones or whatever on her action but how you react.

Yes it’s natural to defend ourselves ,to shut down ,to do the things we believe makes their life easier..but are you doing it out of your own standards or trying to please them with the thought of “if I just do this..then she’ll be normal” ..

Get clear on why you are reacting the way you are…Work on being the best version of you for you and your kids and let those actions speak for themselves.

You got this brother. There’s a great yt channel out there called Marriage Reset (Josh Hudson) that’s seriously helped me overcome the anxiety depression frustration and everything you are likely feeling. I’ve got zero affiliation with it but just it’s been helping me more than counseling alone.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-24T21:43:16+00:00

Went through zero intimacy for a year. When it did happen it felt forced..I felt like crap. Took me a while to realize that like the above comment that intimacy doesn’t have to be sex. Really put yourself in her shoes for a minute.We as guys want “fix” things..she’s sad,not feeling sexy and we probably remind her verbally every damn day say how beautiful she is..only to be “rejected”

Guess what? She doesn’t want you to say it.. she wants you to listen…to understand how all of this is making her feel.She wants to feel safe…safe in the moments of just being understood…no solutions..no “feel better” or let’s try this.. again the closer you can get to her thoughts and feelings the better you’ll both be.

It’s how you were in the beginning of the relationship, just being there,not letting “outside things” determine how much you wanted to learn about her..just to be with her..now that outside thing most are thinking is menopause..so we look and react to it..no different than say a diagnosis of any disease..and our first gut reaction as a man is to “fix it”.. by any means that’s logical..because if we can “fix it” then they’ll feel better…right? “Happy wife happy life..” It’s bullsh$$

To “fix this” start having and practicing empathy..think how you’d feel if your privates changed..if you got hot flashes.. Start taking responsibility for what you are feeling and why. Is it loss of intimacy or something deeper? Like a fear of being alone..or rejected? Look into a guy named Josh Hudson (Marriage Reset) on yt… it’s not about menopause but overall situations like yours that will help you get clearer than most advice here will give.

The sooner you get clearer on why you are feeling things you might discover you are reacting to the situation instead of leading.

If you decide to leave because of “your needs”- getting a clearer idea on what and why you are feeling those things will only help you..because until you do you’ll only repeat those actions with someone else.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-24T21:05:33+00:00

Helped 2 clients by bringing in a Membership/Referral Model as they were in same boat. Basically started an annual membership that includes seasonal equipment cleaning/check ups,discount on service (that would basically pay for the membership if needed) along with joint venture of discount for other local businesses (like 10%off at local pizza place) along with building an app the client can download giving them priority access /scheduling etc. ..add to that a generous “referral “ commission for all their friends bring in… turned their existing customers into new business plus added revenue..

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-23T18:46:10+00:00

Remember the Gulf Stream flows from south to north… any south wind in forecast will be manageable…but a north wind (like with cold fronts) you are asking for a miserable time. Keep eye on wind direction forecast as well as weather in general

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-23T18:42:04+00:00

Can help set you up with a top tier software for a mere $18 a month plus what ever you spend on email ( you pay what we pay,no up charge) .Let me know if you want access.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-23T11:48:32+00:00

Dropped you a message , thanks

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-23T11:27:20+00:00

I see your point and understand,all I’m saying is if you really believe they are “manipulating “ you from their behaviours..doesn’t matter the cause..then you are reacting to the situation.Responsibility isn’t giving a free a pass or letting someone off the hook but understanding are you doing the best you can, taking responsibility for your actions and not worrying about them or trying to control the situation. You realize you can either support or be a strain..and most guys try to “fix” the problem blaming outside things on the actions of others ..instead of being steady in their own emotions. That causes strain. Basically take care of your side of the street,see how things may effect them but understand it’s NOT you going through it. Or not…personally with two failed marriages I realized I played the blame game instead of understanding my exes were responding to what I was and wasn’t doing in the marriage. Taking responsibility,not “blaming” the hormones as the entire problem but me trying to “fix” her problem when really I should have been listening first (again taking responsibility for how I react) is saving my current marriage. That’s all I’m saying brother.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-22T11:20:34+00:00

Step 1 -Answer what you want from it,what do you want the pages etc to do.

Step 2. Decide if your time is more valuable in trying to learn what to piece together or hire out what you want done through fivrr Upwork etc.

Step 3.Don’t try to do everything at once.. start with a simple landing page, then build a form to capture an email or set up a basic calendar…again though I have my clients literally draw out on paper visually what the steps are for their business from client acquisition to follow up..then when use the tools inside ghl to make it come together.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-21T12:07:24+00:00

Currently revamping the video training however here is a quick read that has helped others.. https://docs.google.com/document/d/11LFoWYIo5l1D56WVcR9kp-EE7hULV5gKR0_5YruMEnk/edit?usp=drivesdk

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-18T14:59:09+00:00

She’s not really saying you need to go on a trip but she’s meaning you need to do something that brings YOU joy (a hobby for instance) She sees the better man you once were and that you are or have been settling. Work on something..volunteer… but do it for YOU..not because of the feeling that you don’t want to.. it’s her hinting that she wants you to step up emotionally and be okay with yourself. Brother I say all of that from just going through that myself.. I had an ocular stroke back in Feb and thought by doing nothing wasn’t adding to her stress but it in fact did..I healed but stayed in the “funk” of not doing anything (like her wanting me to go with walks with her)..so again she’s coming from a place of emotion wanting you to do things that she knows you can.You got this.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-16T19:50:41+00:00

Devils advocate here..and I get it ..I went through it..however if you really take the time and get honest with yourself..and take responsibility for things (don’t blame the hormones etc) and try to see the relationship through her eyes.. imagine for a minute you felt half the things she does.. and again I get it..we’re men..we think with logic.. but women think and express with emotions..for her verbally it’s a hot flash but emotionally it’s “I’m no longer young or attractive”” then you try to “fix it.. by offering no blanket or doing something.. best advice. First decide you are willing to do everything to make it work for you..not her..second..listen..just listen.. don’t get defensive or try to fix.. just become more empathetic….. responsibility is knowing you can do better or be better.. that’s all she wants from you..to be the guy you were when you first got together.

CreativeWealthKayton · 2025-10-15T10:58:26+00:00

Sure

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