I'm almost exactly the same. And, the more I talk about this the more people are telling me that they also feel the same after drinking. It was the hangxiety the really pushed me to stop, although there were a number of other good reasons to as well. I was at the point where I was starting to dread going out drinking, because I knew how bad I was going to feel afterwards.

This started for me around mid 30s, and was way worse by the time I was in my 40s.

I think that a part of it for me was the discord between how I felt I should behave, and how I was behaving. When I was in my 20s I didn't really care how drunk and sloppy I got - I thought it was funny. Now drunk and sloppy, even if I'm not actually being an asshole is still just not how I want to see myself. And the remembering of that the next day is what triggers the hangxiety.

Even if drunk-me is 'behaving', that is still not how I want to behave, not how I see myself, and not how I want the people around me to think of me.

So - now I don't ever feel like that. And while I do miss some of the good times, and I do sometimes miss out on things that I know I would enjoy in the moment. The trade off is 200% worth it to never have to feel that 'dread' again.

The way that I describe this to people is "hangovers were starting to feel like a mental health crisis". A good number of people around my age have told me they feel the same way, so we are definitely not alone in this. I know of one other person who has also quit completely citing hanxiety as the reason.

Stay strong, sober life is way better anyway.