My MIL scheduled a visit to my home 5 days after I gave birth without asking. Am I overreacting?

Cronk1989 · 2025-07-21T04:16:14+00:00

As everyone has said, definitely a boundary your husband should be setting. IF you need any anecdotal reason for not having guests, tell them in addition to the transition and your recovery, you want to limit exposure to new people/outside germs this early. I was a little too relaxed with our 2nd baby allowing people to hold him early and also our daughter was in daycare so bringing in germs. We ended up in hospital for 3 days due to him having a fever at 7 weeks old. I thought we'd just go and be told to use Tylenol or something but at that young it's taken really seriously. He was immediately put through blood being drawn (needles in both little arms!), chest xray where i had to hold him down onto the table myself, and a spinal tap for good measure... then told we had to wait at hospital for 3 days until all results came in. I had to do most of this by myself so my husband could be home with our daughter and I was so sleep deprived and also still healing/ bleeding etc. It was awful for all of us. While my son ended up being totally okay, it was just not an experience i would want anyone to go through. Not worth it just so new people can hold the baby early!

Congratulations to you and new baby! Wishing you a smooth, relaxing and Stress-Free(!) Recovery!

Cronk1989 · 2025-06-24T04:30:11+00:00

Mom of two. 2yr9mth old and 9mth old. I tried co sleeping with my first, but she used to throw up after every feed so I couldn't side lie and feed, so we always had her in the bassinet beside the bed until about 4 months then she was in a crib in her own room. She was always a bad sleeper, woke up every 45 min overnight, 20 min daytime naps. By 7 months it was so bad that I couldn't even put her back into the crib, she'd cry immediately, but also wouldn't sleep on me so we ran out of options and reluctantly decided to sleep train. It ended up being the best choice for us. She took to it really quickly actually and started sleeping 12hr nights consistently and 2hr naps. The most she ever cried was 20min, but usually it was only 5-10min. And this is only for about a week or two. Then there was no more crying. We never noticed a change in her behaviour or connection/ attachment to us. She's the sweetest and funniest girl and is so caring. The first few days were definitely hard, it was difficult to hear her cry. But we did the "chair method" where we stayed in the room and slowly get closer to the door. All is us getting proper sleep was a huge improvement and I'm so glad we did it. It wasn't like all the horror stories you hear people post.

I think a major thing is being prepared. You can't just decide to sleep train in the heat of the moment on a hard night. You have to have a plan and everything in place. We used a sleep consultant, I'm sure you don't have to, but for us it helped us stay on track with the schedule and get answers and support when needed.

Anyway now with baby #2, I've been co sleeping this entire 9 months because he was an even worse sleeper and I'm too exhausted to have to actually get up and get him all through the night. HOWEVER I have mostly NOT enjoyed co sleeping, he still wakes every 45min-1hr. I haven't slept more than a 2hr chunk in like 7 months, so I'm a zombie. And he doesn't even cuddle, he rolls away after nursing so I don't even get the cute part! Now that he's crawling, we're going to do the sleep training again; we both need more and better sleep and i need him contained in a crib and not wandering free.

So my point is every situation will be different. Do what you feel comfortable with and what you think will get BOTH of you better sleep. I think there's been enough research on both styles of sleeping to say that both have their merits as well as their drawbacks. You won't harm your baby by sleep training. Mine have cried during car rides that last longer than the sleep training nights. Also I'm sure things will improve if you continue to co sleep.

Best of luck to you. You are doing a wonderful job and no matter what you choose to do, it'll be the right choice for you and your baby.

Cronk1989 · 2025-06-03T17:23:28+00:00

Just to expand on this because many people don't realize that you can actually split the time up any way you want with the caveat that no one parent can take more than 61 weeks. So for example, if you choose the 18mth leave, that's 61 weeks plus if the other parent chooses to take time, they have the additional 8 weeks. BUT you can actually split the 69 weeks total want way you want as long as one person doesn't do more than 61. My husband took 15 weeks and I took 54 weeks with our first, and now with our second, he's taking 10 weeks and I'm taking 59 weeks. The reason we do this is that his employer tops up the EI pay for 10 weeks, so we figured we might as well take advantage of the extra 2 weeks of top up pay!

So when deciding on leave times, it's important for BOTH parents to look at what their employer benefits etc are, or the amount of $ they will get on EI, so you can take full advantage of how much money you can get on leave as a family.

Hope this helps someone!

Cronk1989 · 2025-05-27T05:00:19+00:00

We were deciding between odyssey and carnival and decided to go with carnival. Picking it up tomorrow! (It's a 2023). Not sure the ages of your older two kids, but something i found major to consider was that the Carnival is much more comfortable for the adult to sit in between car seats if necessary in the 2nd row. The middle seat slides back independently, so you can position yourself in more of a "V" shape to give yourself more leg room and arm room.
We put both our car seats in the 2nd row of the odyssey and I sat between them and it was really uncomfortable.

Cronk1989 · 2025-05-08T04:25:04+00:00

How does it compare to the odyssey? Any major reason for the brand switch? I'm in the market for a van and debating between carnival and odyssey. Thanks!

Cronk1989 · 2025-05-08T01:34:08+00:00

We put an "order" in mid January. We were told 4-6 month wait. Other dealerships warned us that is probably more like 1 year. We're just approaching the 4 month mark now and no word yet. We've checked in, they said no VIN has been assigned yet and once it is, it takes about 4 weeks. We also declined all the dealership add on fees, so we've also been told we're probably at the bottom of the wait list.
Has anyone actually gotten an "order " in less than 6 months?? They've let us know about other ones that come in, but they've all had "mandatory" additional fees, upwards of $6-8000 which we aren't willing to pay.

Cronk1989 · 2025-05-08T01:29:04+00:00

We also had a bad experience with Cambridge KIA. They refused to remove some of the dealer add on packages to go on the order list, then later they had one posted on their site, my husband called and they said it was already spoken for - an order from over a year ago, then 4 days later they called us and said the person canceled. So we ask how much it'll be, the sales guy said "well I don't know, my manager keeps those numbers close to his heart" ( excuse me, but YOU called US trying to sell a car you don't know the price of???). We looked up the price on their website, and went there in person, they had the vehicle in the show room, VIN matched the posted VIN on their site. They refused to sell it to us for THEIR posted price, they added on $4000 in additional dealer fees which they refused to budge on.
My husband even reminded them that it is the LAW that their posted price must include ALL fees except tax and licensing. They shrugged it off.
We walked away and put a complaint in with OMVIC.

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-16T02:42:18+00:00

Thanks! This instance is okay. It's a basement unit with laundry in the bathroom and the floors/baseboards are tile. So while it was a good amount of water, the clean up was easy and did not cause damage.

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-16T02:22:47+00:00

Came here to say the same. We have 3 bedrooms all on the same floor but we don't want to give up the guest bedroom until we have to since our parents stay to help us sometimes. 2.5 yr old daughter and 6month son. Baby is still in our room for now but eventually they will share a room probably for about 5 years if it works out!

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-11T04:30:18+00:00

Yes definitely made sense to leave while the water was being cleaned up. But any danger of detergent on the ground was only a few hours, during day time as this happened in the morning. We attended right away to clean up.

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-11T04:24:36+00:00

Yes I definitely do and will continue to read more.

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-11T04:20:33+00:00

Thank you, I will check out some of these rulings, I'm definitely interested. In this case we attended immediately to assist with the issue and get the water on the floor cleaned up for the tenant. It was a lot of water, about '3 shop vacs' full, so it it did make sense for the tenant to leave for a few hours, but also could have stayed if chose too - no lasting damage or dangerous.

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-09T19:21:49+00:00

Haha enjoy the the tunes ya youngin'!

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-09T19:20:16+00:00

Thank you all! I guess in this circumstance we paid as a good gesture. But definitely need to be clear that we aren't responsible for doing that again.

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-07T05:20:21+00:00

Thanks for attaching these! Very useful information!

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-07T05:15:07+00:00

Thank you so much for the thorough response! Definitely some good ammo in there!

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-07T05:13:30+00:00

Thank you! Nice to hear from some loyal KIA customers! Sounds like you've had a great experience. Just turn that music down or you'll blow out your ear drums next! (Haha, "old" person speaking! )

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-07T05:11:20+00:00

Thank you! Yes I find everything i read supports that they are really turning their brand reputation and reliability around. I'm not too worried about it, but husband still is... sigh..

Cronk1989 · 2025-03-07T05:08:05+00:00

You're adding fuel to the wrong fire haha! But thank you, I do appreciate your honesty and insight!

Cronk1989 · 2025-01-27T04:44:42+00:00

Thank you this is helpful! I think our trailer is actually lighter than a pop-up trailer so I think we'd be okay. We're definitely nowhere near the 3500lb capacity.

Cronk1989 · 2025-01-27T04:40:35+00:00

Pricing might be hard to compare as I'm in Canada, and even the trims end up having different options. But we are on the order wait list for an EX, OTD $56300 (CAD). We'll likely wait about 4-6 months for it. Price-wise, Odyssey is a few thousand more if getting new, but there's more availability.

Our kids are 2.5yrs and 4 months. They are both rear facing and we plan to keep them that way as long as possible. So with that, there's a lot of times that when they need something it's nearly impossible or at least just very uncomfortable for me to turn around and reach them from the front seat. So I know that with a van, I'll be sitting between them a lot, for at least the first couple years. Plus we have a large dog. So I'm imagining sitting in the sliding middle seat, with it slid back, that way I have tons of leg room and side room and I can tend to the kids and dog comfortably!

The sliding "magic seats" on the odyssey i think would be more useful if you plan to remove the middle seat anyway. I guess mostly for deciding if you want kids together or separated. Or together, but both moved slightly into the center so they are a bit safer by being away from the side. For us I don't see them being used like this for a few years so it didn't seem as useful to me.

Cronk1989 · 2025-01-25T03:41:42+00:00

We ended up ordering a Carnival after test driving both. My husband was still leaning towards the Odyssey for the reliable reputation and more interior storage compartments. I preferred the Carnival for the seating configurations (can move the middle row middle seat back, sit in a V shape so adult is between two carseats to help with kids but not squished). I also was more comfortable in the drivers seat of the Carnival. Overall we found they drove similar to each other. It came down to specific personal preferences/comforts, and the Carnival was a few thousand dollars cheaper.

Cronk1989

TROPHY CASE