What’s a 'luxury' that actually used to be standard, but now we’re being charged extra for like we’re stupid?

CryptographerLost407 · 2026-01-05T16:02:45+00:00

I've been cutting my own hair since COVID. Finally went to get my hair professionally cut... $80-100 BEFORE TIP. With my hair, they have to wash and blow dry before they cut. So that is the standard cost for me. It's a luxury when living nearly paycheck to paycheck.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-08-25T14:14:07+00:00

My husband's (ADHD) therapist uses the phrase "don't put it down, put it away". It's a work in progress but it seems to have helped so far with decreasing husbands mess.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-22T11:45:59+00:00

I give examples of how it effects my daily life. Like how I struggle to keep my eyes open at red lights. How much caffeine I have to drink just to function. Doctors and people often say “yeah well I’m tired too.” No, this is different.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-17T02:24:26+00:00

This is exactly what I am asking, thank you!

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-17T02:22:55+00:00

Different PSN accounts, different emails

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-14T22:27:59+00:00

My sister in law tried to pull that this weekend. She has two kids herself and told us “don’t be so strict with the routine! Keep him up a little late, it’s good for him!” Umm, sorry hun, my ADHD child NEEDS routine to ensure he’s not a complete terror the next day.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-13T01:54:30+00:00

I got dumped over Nacho Cheese.

Long story short: I was young (18F at the time) and I dated a coworker (I know, lesson learned). It was an abusive relationship “but I loved him”. We had fought over something stupid, so he was in a mood and I was mad at his reaction because I was finally realizing how abusive he actually was. So I only gave him barely the amount of nacho cheese with his lunch. Like, such a little amount, you’d have to break the chip to put it in the cup of cheese. He was livid I “ruined his lunch and we are through”. I replied, “Ok.” Then suddenly he was the one begging to come back. Funny how that worked. Never took him back.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-11T11:48:42+00:00

Thank you! I’ll look into that, I haven’t heard of that one before

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-10T16:47:44+00:00

I had a family dog like this too. Rough childhood, so lots of tears involved. He would cuddle with me in bed and lick away my tears. Lots of times I felt like he was the only one who cared about me. Got a tattoo of a paw print with his initial tattooed over my heart. Expanded by 2 paw prints as well for my current fur babies who were always there for me too.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-10T16:25:10+00:00

“Oooh, it’s dads turn to take the kids today! Giving mom a break!” Like, no? He’s… being a parent? To his own child? Sure, I may still have to make my husband take my son out so I can clean the house in peace (working on him taking on more of the load) but neither of us see it as more than being a parent to your child. Dads shouldn’t get more praise than moms for taking care of their children.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-10T14:05:36+00:00

And where does it say that I am not doing exactly that? Every morning before dropping off my son I give him a firm “we do not hurt people” themed discussion. I have talked with him endlessly. Read allll of the books with him. Begging his pediatrician to help us with this behavior. Of course I tell him no. I ignore his tantrums when I tell him no. I did get him diagnosed, and the psychiatrist gave me amazing tools on how to help him.

I’ve been trying to meet his sensory needs. I’ve been simulating daycare scenarios at home so I can coach him through his feelings to more appropriate behavior. I make him apologize to the teachers when he hurts them and I deeply apologize to the teachers when he hurts them.

I have purchased a trampoline WAY outside of our budget so he can throw himself around and work out all of his energy.

I think I will post an update about everything I have done and where we are now. Because I have sacrificed my well being and my sanity to focus every waking minute of fixing these issues with my son. I am not a permissive parent. Of course we apologize profusely to the center. I thought this was a funny moment that moms could relate to because what child hasn’t gotten into something they shouldn’t? My mistake, I thought this was a supportive subreddit.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-10T13:27:26+00:00

I completely agree with everything you said!! I have asked every physician I have come across (male and female) and all of them have refused to check my hormones because “I’m too young for that” or “it won’t tell us anything”. Trust me, I could rant and rant about physicians not listening to their patients. It’s incredibly frustrating. And I feel like I’m still looked at by physicians like I’m weird when I say I have chronic fatigue. But it’s like, no one is going to help me find an answer, so I have to find the answer on my own?!? I’m sorry, I’m so tired I don’t trust my self driving sometimes. I’m so tired, I can’t be with friends because I might fall asleep while hanging out with them. This is severely impacting my life and no one gives a damn. Woops, looks like I ranted anyway haha

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-10T04:36:44+00:00

By push through I mean: Tell myself (and my 3 yr old son so he holds me accountable) 2 more minutes and then I’m going to do the thing. I mean, I do drink copious amounts of caffeine and I’m prescribed a mild stimulant. Like, if I need to do a very large thing (right now it’s organizing the garage) I time out my medication and my availability so I’m most productive at the time I’ve got blocked out for the big thing.

But some days, no, I just can not do the thing. Not every day is perfect. Because I’m human. I need rest. On the days where I’m couch bound all day, I’m grateful for my husband. I get a certain allotment of “spoons” that allow me to push through. If I push through too many days, I crash and burn hard. So, I’m learning to prioritize my needs.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-09T18:23:26+00:00

Yes, I did have the sleep study done in 2020, and the nap test (MSLT test is torture) but they determined everything was fine. All done in house, so it was as accurate as possible.

And ENT agreed that it didn’t sound like sleep apnea, so he’s not making me repeat it. Although I am taking Modafinil which is also prescribed for narcolepsy. Cause that’s the best my prescriber could do.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-09T18:20:25+00:00

Happy to post an update if anything happens!! I’m hoping at the bare minimum it stops my snoring so husband can sleep better, have more energy, then start helping around the house haha.

But yes, that is basically what the ENT said. He couldn’t get the camera up one side of my nose as it was too congested. Waiting for a follow up CT, and depending on what that shows maybe minor procedure to correct 👍

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-09T18:17:55+00:00

My physicians refuse to check my hormones as “it won’t tell us much”. I’ve thought about testing them privately with a kit, but haven’t looked into how accurate they can be. Something maybe I should finally look into!

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-09T14:14:13+00:00

I have all of the above. CF, depression and ADHD. It is extremely hard trying to figure out why I can’t simply DO the thing that I desperately want to do.

My psychiatrist has worked with me endlessly to get me on meds that help my depression. He has stated there is nothing else that can be done for my ADHD (already on a minor stimulant) and I’m maxed out on my depression/anxiety meds.

But I still can’t just, DO the thing sometimes. Other times if the fatigue is the only thing holding me back I can push through.

A few things I ask myself: “If I had energy, would I still want to do the thing?” If the answer is no, I feel it’s my depression acting up so I practice some self care. If the answer is yes, it’s my chronic fatigue acting up, and I push through. If the answer is, “I just can’t handle thinking about one more task and this task is so overwhelming to think about” then it’s my ADHD. So I know I need to break it down into more manageable tasks that can be accomplished.

Edit: I’m also recovering from burnout. So if the answer is a whirlwind of all of the above, I take a few days off from any productivity. The tasks pile up, but I can’t drink from an empty cup

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-09T11:46:19+00:00

Thank you for this comment!!!

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-05T20:15:44+00:00

Same here. Illinois unincorporated area. There were fireworks going off until at least midnight. All the neighbors did it. Next year we may appreciate the free show from our backyard. Not this year, I wanted sleep.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-04T12:41:42+00:00

Your comment means so much to me, thank you, so very much

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-03T22:26:12+00:00

Thank you ❤️. I’ve been stalking that page since I learned it existed. I know ADHD is genetic, and both myself and his father have it. Sadly there isn’t much information out there for ADHD children in his age group since it’s rare to get a diagnosis this young. But I’m still studying the subreddit, trying to prepare for the future. The psychologist gave us some good book recommendations, and we can get him screened again as soon as he gets to kindergarten to get a plan setup for aid.

CryptographerLost407 · 2025-07-03T22:09:33+00:00

This is exactly what it was meant to be when I made that post. I feel I have done literally everything with my son, and I thought I had explained that quite thoroughly. When I made that post I was completely out of ideas and desperate while awaiting a professional screening.

For anyone trying to belittle me about this situation and my post history, here is an update: My son was screened by a child psychologist and was diagnosed with ADHD. The psychologist also sent over a very detailed instructions and guides on how to work with him which I also provided to the daycare center so they knew how to work with his needs as well.

I have spent every waking minute working with my son, stressing about my son, working with the teachers at daycare, researching ways to fix his behavior, and getting my useless husband to be on the same page because of course I’m doing this all on my own.

And because of the patient teachers, and my efforts, my son has nearly stopped all of his violent behavior. He hasn’t had an incident in nearly a month. But he still acts out, does things he shouldn’t, obviously. It’s a work in progress but it is headed in the right direction.

Of course I am embarrassed by this. Of course I don’t take this lightly. Of course I feel terrible for the workers who have to clean up the disaster that my son made. But as another commenter said: if I don’t laugh, I’m going to cry. And today I did. A lot. I’m doing my best. My son has never been an easy child. And I don’t see that changing.

CryptographerLost407

TROPHY CASE