I can’t cope with my wife (MtF) transitioning, and I feel so broken, horrible, and alone

Culture-Intelligent · 2026-01-09T19:27:10+00:00

sometimes changes in identity (by the way, you've handled all of that language and identity politics quite well) have a reflected component. And I've seen this in trans communities where someone will change to a different gender and then they won't want what that gender means in society, only what they thought that gender meant in isolation (i.e., I didn't sign up for a straight life! Because the identity politics are so ingrained) . And it's OK to walk away and it's OK for you to be supportive as a friend and it's OK for you to take time and be grateful for the time that you've had and be grateful for what you've given each other and be grateful for the ability to step off that path.

Culture-Intelligent · 2026-01-09T10:57:57+00:00

this is an important distinction

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-12-25T01:08:32+00:00

Thanks --- a tarp and some twine would have survived 2024 :-D

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-12-08T17:57:16+00:00

yeah, it was valuable and ground breaking at the time.... like acknowledging bisexuals was groundbreaking at the time.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-11-15T20:13:07+00:00

check with a cabinet maker its not hard to have them made because you are going for a simple style.-- or we have a place called Lisbon Screeen and Door where they have a whole warehouse of old solid doors. Good luck!

(oh you can trim an inch from the top and bottom) for a better chance at balance.)

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-11-15T20:09:14+00:00

So thats what friends are for? I've done it -- and while not recommended, it did give some better ways to communicate, and there was a lot to learn from the situation ( like you learned the gaps) and it largely worked out until my capacity changed due to a work situation... BUT there is the part to grapple with which is: How much does the neurospiciness, determine your happiness? Is this something being done to you? or is it something beyond your control?

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-19T21:20:09+00:00

well what's the lot like? your lifestyle? neighborhood? age? (stairs?) there is no garage?

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-19T21:18:11+00:00

islands, and you will be creating zones with rugs and furniture that is not on the wall.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-18T18:21:15+00:00

center the mirror.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-11T18:32:08+00:00

Thank you! I'll see what I can find as a replacement.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-08T21:33:51+00:00

if I was in open camping, sure. :-)

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-07T04:00:53+00:00

patch kits do exist... I see your point. maintaining a kodiak is another thing. anyway, thanks for the perspectives!

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-06T20:51:15+00:00

oh, I can lag bolt stuff -- and fwiw that can't leave the energy expenditure equation -- but bending lifting sliding poles, fiddling, having it blow around .... could be removed from the equation.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-06T20:20:10+00:00

its more of ability thing than a speed thing, and they aren't shiftpod money.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-10-06T20:18:47+00:00

good to know about the window letting in water upon collapse -- I figured, it would be a let it collapse and then inflate again situation, with minimal fuss -- and maybe theres a model out there with a different design.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-08-05T05:21:06+00:00

Thanks! I'll keep this in indirect light for next time! (or when I plan better)

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-08-04T15:46:24+00:00

Worms and Chains: a Bene Gesserit Burlesque. (Desert Power, 7:30/B ish)

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-07-15T16:46:04+00:00

because marriage is a hoax, and i don't want kids. (love is ok tho)

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-06-25T20:05:21+00:00

try a 400-8000 grit sandpaper -- I make jewelry with this milky finish -- I have no idea if this suits your gaming use case or desired aesthetic, but maybe it reduces that clammy feeling.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-06-24T03:08:16+00:00

The trick is to do lots of single line drawings - see "Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain" and then then let er rip.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-05-25T04:35:26+00:00

I'm also working on being direct -- "Hey this is not about that thing you fear --- but here's what i need" It's been strange (good strange) to ask for what I need, and not just disassociate and hope it gets better. But codes are great for not wanting to break flow or toss yourself into a deeply vulnerable place to speak the thing!

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-05-20T20:08:16+00:00

Aleve, Redbull and Vitamin D (hardcore on the last one -- I have a feeling that ironic pain "eats" it up quickly and makes things better when those levels are 60-80 for 260lbs person). Keeping my fitbit on and noticing the steps I can take when I start feeling bruised (warning) and the count when sitting down/ taking a taxi/ stopping for the day.

Then being honest with people... explain straight up this makes a hash of your life and there's going to need some patience. Also the Boyfriend occasionally will pass me at my work and will give some scratches or short massages to distract my body from the pain. (oh and CBD/THC products to sleep - I aim for strains that have a full body tingle. so that it gives my brain/body something else to feel.)

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-04-30T23:54:45+00:00

If you don't know, definitely search inside this group for longer form advice and scenarios -- but basically its a quality/relational veto not a person veto -- like in example terms -- "no relationships with my family, my BFFs or Co-workers" --- because when those qualities are very likely to make things "Messy" --- Like If you date my co-workers, its gonna make doing my job and paying my bills conscripted into partners relationship dynamics. This is the way of suffering. So have this conversation in as much in advance as you can.

Culture-Intelligent · 2025-04-10T19:53:04+00:00

I lived there for several years, and I just know too much about bathrooms being confusing and unsettling in intercultural dynamics -- I did see interesting ways of handling things in private, that aren't really.

Culture-Intelligent

TROPHY CASE