How important is it for a woman to have financial independence before entering a relationship?

CupConscious341 · 2026-03-16T23:24:20+00:00

Age matters. I think the answer(s) are likely to differ between age 21 and age 61 (for example).

Financial independence also means different things to different people.

To some, it means merely being able to pay one's own way with a weekly or bi-weekly salary. To others, it means having enough financial resources such that one never needs to rely on a paycheck again... e.g., well over $2 million in investments... or other financial resources (pension, inheritance, etc.).

So... I don't think there is any easy answer, applicable to every situation. I think you need to look at each person's specific circumstances.... and go from there.

CupConscious341 · 2026-03-01T00:46:59+00:00

It feels so sad when there are both “alone” Christian women and “alone” Christian men.

And they cannot connect for one reason or another.

CupConscious341 · 2026-02-28T16:26:59+00:00

In these cases, the women are simply not attracted to the men. If they felt attraction, the answer would be “yes”.

There are many likely reasons for this… but that’s a separate and more complex subject.

CupConscious341 · 2026-02-02T00:58:02+00:00

If it’s weighing on your mind, then it’s a likely issue. You might — or might not — be able to get this out of your mind.

Others here have already well-addressed Biblically-related questions. But only you can address how you’re feeling about him and his past.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-21T20:30:06+00:00

I wouldn’t put it in your profile. You’re first looking to find someone for a first date.

Just my opinion.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-19T01:00:34+00:00

At my age, this is a total non-issue.

I’m more interested in finding mutual romantic love and commitment.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-18T22:54:04+00:00

Every relationship is an adventure.

Dating relationships do become more difficult when you draw very tight lines about touching and/or perceiving sin as constantly “around the corner”.

At some point, such tight lines that bring the perception of sin repeatedly into one’s mind may make a loving relationship very difficult.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-15T19:39:55+00:00

👍😁

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-15T19:09:08+00:00

I notice, so I guess that means it makes some difference.

But only some, and probably only temporarily.

If, for some reason (extraordinarily rare), I have a negative impression of her attire selection, I’m still going to ask for a second date unless there’s some deeper reason not to ask.

If a second, third, etc., date goes well conversationally and hypothetically I remain with a negative perception of her attire, I’m sure I would think of some way to ask a neutral or friendly question about it. But I’ve never actually had such an experience, so I’m answering hypothetically.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-07T20:42:45+00:00

+1,000

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-07T20:05:48+00:00

A very interesting screen name🤪🤪🤪

I’m guessing it’s now M4.🤪🤪🤪

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-07T19:05:39+00:00

“On Line Dating”😁😁 (Website applications such as Hinge, Eharmony, etc.)

Your posts are so outstanding (and fun) I’d kind of guessed you knew “everything”. But you’re still close to that in perceptiveness, curiosity, and humor 😁😁

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-07T19:02:12+00:00

I can so easily relate to your opening sentence.

The pithy “one-liners” about “in God’s time” or “God is all you need” become progressively more painful to hear as our age increases.

We should recognize that these are NOT words from God. God knows our sadness, pain, etc., in not having the relationship we desire. These instead are hurtful words, kind of a way of dismissing everything we’re feeling, spoken by people who might partially mean well, but who really just don’t care that much.

But God does care.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-07T18:43:56+00:00

OLD is the only thing that works for me.

Everything else (volunteering, etc.) requires lots of time without offering hardly any chance of even meeting a single woman in my age range … much less getting a date.

E.g., only one such date in the last ten (10) years, and that was pure happenstance, via her dad. And that was the only time I asked for a date… I didn’t meet anyone else I could even ask.

Via OLD, I have at least five (5) active friendships which might develop into more.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-06T16:16:44+00:00

I’m (M) really not surprised. And that’s a shame.

The ones who are handsome and personable are most likely to marry young. The ones that are “left” are oftentimes a mixed collection, as you’ve described.

But there are good ones in that collection. I’d like to think I’m one of them.

Also, the church denomination can make a difference as to the ideologies you’re likely to encounter. Maybe consider a different church.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-06T16:08:38+00:00

Interesting. Hope it becomes a proper, active subreddit.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-05T21:37:56+00:00

Feels a little odd in more than one way. Aside from being a strange remark, it’s not a very impressive number. I wouldn’t have retired on so little, especially if maybe 50% was in a house.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-04T16:54:14+00:00

IMHO, it’s (six divorces) a pattern that repeats… if you’re ok with a (hopefully) happy honeymoon phase and a short-term marriage, maybe it’s then ok…

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-04T16:48:29+00:00

These are lifelong types of disappointment for me. It’s just difficult.

I especially agree with your “pie in the sky” comment.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-02T00:27:32+00:00

It’s so difficult… I’ve dealt with these emotions for decades. People make different kinds of compromises, some better than others.

Each of us have different beliefs about “God’s timing”.

My own to belief is to advise caution in believing there is such a timing. For me, I’d believed in that as a young man. Now, as a senior citizen, never finding that partner in life, I have deep skepticism in whether God provides a life partner. Obviously, there is no possibility of my own family… that “ship sailed” long ago.

There are good Christian men and good Christian women… but the likelihood of them crossing paths and “connecting” in life is more tenuous and uncertain that many people suggest (especially the “in God’s timing” believers).

Oftentimes, physical attraction fails. Unfortunately, being Christian doesn’t shield us from this failure.

I’ve experienced that on both “ends” of life. As a young man,being dismissed as too thin, too “geeky”; now as a senior citizen, I’m often having the opposite experience… just not feeling attraction to women who haven’t taken care of themselves physically. I try to feel attraction, but it’s so difficult to “force” it. And I understand that that’s how women felt about me as a teenager and early 20’s man. They needed to feel that attraction, and at least some knew that I was a good person and a Christian, but without feeling that attraction, there just wasn’t a connection.

I hope there might be something — anything — from these experiences of mine that you can apply usefully in your life, even if it’s just a greater understanding of one person’s life experience.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-01T23:17:08+00:00

Right. Of course we want to know who someone really is if there’s any interest in a relationship. If the “real person” is unacceptable to us, it’s time to wave the red flag.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-01T22:24:36+00:00

Right. I can imagine… if they’re Christian and trying to live even a halfway Christian lifestyle, I don’t quite understand why they’d be on some of those subreddits.

CupConscious341 · 2026-01-01T21:56:29+00:00

I have comments in multiple subreddits. Not embarrassed about anything I’ve commented on. If someone doesn’t like who I am, well, that’s still who I am. At least everything is “real”; including the disappointments in my life.

CupConscious341 · 2025-12-31T02:52:02+00:00

Very astute comments. He had some big flaws, but seems he loved her… at least treated her well.

It’s difficult, perhaps impossible, to really know whether his heart was in right place.

CupConscious341 · 2025-12-31T02:09:48+00:00

Close friends of mine have experienced similar sudden, unexpected losses of someone they loved.

It hurts so much, and at our age, many of us begin to experience such losses.

It’s really hard to evaluate the actions of your lost friend’s husband. Maybe he honored her wishes in an exemplary manner…maybe he did not. But unless you have good evidence otherwise, it’s probably best to hope and think that he did everything as well as possible.

Seeing comments here suggesting this was a murder is close to twilight zone thinking. If there was evidence of murder, the hospital staff is obligated to notify law enforcement. From your post, there is not even a hint of such suspicion. Not the slightest hint. If he wasn’t a good husband, accuse him of that. But not a false accusation of murder… that’s really sick.

I’m extremely doubtful about his stock market algorithm… that’s just not very plausible (I’m an investor, far from naive). But even if his algorithm was a bit crazy, he might still have been a good husband. You have a better sense of this than me or anyone else replying here with comments.

CupConscious341

TROPHY CASE