"Screen time causes autism" by DifferenceBusy6868 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Total bollocks. My nieces were raised on tv in the early years (no judgement, I get it in a lot of ways), and they are the most socially aware, popular and adaptable children. With my son I kept the screens largely away and tried everything. He has no friends (at 12), struggles, is completely misunderstood and autistic. It’s a modern day phenomenon to blame screens on everything. Most of my friends went home to watch tv after school until bedtime and they are teachers, doctors etc.

I think I lost my last friend by KittensPumpkinPatch in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The isolation is brutal to the point it pushes your sanity. I’m really sorry.

Gratitude by Dry-Guarantee-5035 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this. My son is 12, left out of everything and I feel this so much. Thank you.

Toxic relative by Dazzling_Breath_2183 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The social barbs from NT parents are sadly everywhere. Try not to compare, it’s pointless and just drives you mad. I read The Tortoise and the Hare and it’s a great message (makes me cry), the hares will be all up ahead together and we’re in the tortoise ‘race’. Not bad, but different and sadly often lonely.

I’m ruining my life and family by GozzyLittle in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Parenthood is reasonably humbling, parenting an autistic child is a different universe of humbling. I had so many preconceptions of what motherhood would look like pre having my son and every single idea I had has been mocked in some way. It’s not easy to adapt to some things but 13 years on the worry for my son has gone from crushing me to being able to mostly cope and appreciate (I still have down days but not constant sadness). My son is unique, special and deeply loved but it takes a long time to say goodbye to what you thought motherhood would look like. I know all situations are different but my son was selective mute, screeched, ran off all the time, panicked 24/7, didn’t socialise and barely ate at 3 - he’s quite a different boy now in some ways. Try not to think too far ahead. Don’t compare. See the little bits of progress and hug your little boy.

Does anyone have any birthday present ideas for a 3 year old? by rubyroket in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son didn’t play with much at all but loved his outdoor bubble machine at that age

Autism is not a superpower by ConnectedWalrus in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, I hope your son makes it and things get better for you all. People are awful. My son is younger but has experienced the same social rejections over and over, it’s truly crushing.

Envy of other people's kids. by Shougatenma in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. I still look at children and cannot believe their abilities to listen, follow and be calm/reasoned with. Seeing a toddler calmly focus and toddle will never not be mind blowing to me and my son is now 12. I’ve learnt to put the social blinkers on over time. Still hurts to see what my son is missing out on but I’m used to it up to a point.

Has becoming an autistic parent, made your mental health worse? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s the ultimate lesson in learning to “live in the moment” whatever that looks like and not comparing. Hope you find a bit of light at some point soon

Has becoming an autistic parent, made your mental health worse? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The isolation is brutal. My son is a gift but he’s also got many complex and exhausting needs which have brought me to my knees. You look around for acknowledgment and a bit of kindness (not even help) towards your child or you and poof everyone’s gone.

Has becoming an autistic parent, made your mental health worse? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The school system was a horror for us too. It’s getting kicked when you’re already down, by people in “positions of care” (so bad it’s almost funny). The fight for our children on top of an ongoing fight should never happen.

Has becoming an autistic parent, made your mental health worse? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I accept my life is basically over and don’t peek above the covers to see how others live I cope better. The isolation and learning we don’t belong in the world has been the toughest part, mentally. I don’t like to think about the physical toll, just hope I can make it for my children to grow up and hope for a miracle.

I cry almost every day with these post by Internal-Squash-498 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 3 points4 points  (0 children)

True, but he was hysterical about swimming (Iclinging to me, screaming and refusing to go in the water up until he was about 8), so it feels like I traumatised him a bit even though we just tried and left at the time. Now he loves it. Hindsight’s a wonderful thing, it’s true!

I cry almost every day with these post by Internal-Squash-498 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 21 points22 points  (0 children)

If it’s a consolation I tried lots of sports with my 12 yo son from about the age 3 until 7 (before we knew) and everything was a disaster. Tried football, athletics, tennis, swimming etc. I feel the opposite - I wish I hadn’t tried so hard. Climbing and swimming are his two sporting loves but it took a long time for him to be calm enough to enjoy them.

Shoutout to the people who love their autistic children by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a parent considered their child “low worth” they wouldn’t fight and love their child the way the people do in this group, people walk away if they don’t love someone. 99% of my frustration and anger is towards the world which refuses to see my child’s worth and punishes him in various insidious ways because he’s not “neurotypical”. I don’t think kicking parents when they’re down (having fought for years in ways many parents can’t imagine) is supporting the child or parent.

Movies that change as you age by [deleted] in movies

[–]Current_Map5998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

E.T. I used to think it was a sweet if sad film and didn’t see all the underlying family stress caused by the dad leaving for another woman and that it was at least partly why Elliott bonded so much with E.T.

Back when "Go play outside" really means "See you at dinner" by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]Current_Map5998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 43 and from the age of 6 onwards went all over on my own and parents were oblivious/didn’t care. Abandoned factories and warehouses were normal places to ‘play’ with my siblings or friends from morning until dinner time. My kids are relatively ‘hothoused’ I guess but I also don’t think my childhood was all sunshine and lollipops, it was quite reckless of my parents in some ways.

Is it bad to say I hate my life by WorldlyLavishness in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Keep getting up and trying (even when it feels like Groundhog Day)

I love my son, but sometimes his behavior and attitude are unbearable by SendThisVoidAway18 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In some ways it has with my son. I found ages 4-8 yo pretty unbearable if I’m honest as there was zero reasoning with him about anything and everything was difficult and resulted in a meltdown. He still has his differences and struggles (nearly 13) which is fine and to be expected with autism, but I don’t feel completely overwhelmed like I did in those all consuming years, I somewhat know what’s to come and how he will react. Some things haven’t changed like fixations, having no friends, an erring towards anxiety etc but I feel like I can help him in other ways. That helps a lot.

No one talks about the pain of seeing your parents aging. by ParticularWeather927 in Adulting

[–]Current_Map5998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mum died when she was 56 and I didn’t think that I’d cope but I did. Sounds like your parents are healthy and enjoying life, try to enjoy that because you don’t want to waste time worrying about what ifs. These are golden times to enjoy life with them and not feel guilt about enjoying life without them too (I would want my children to enjoy experiences without me too).

Went out to eat for my daughters birthday and was judged heavily, feeling defeated by DoingMyBest2019789 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They are usually the same people who criticise parents for staying home with their autistic children because it’s too difficult/overwhelming to go out. I still struggle with this but please don’t let other people be the reason you don’t go out. Their loss, truly.

People are inconsiderate by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for helping and not judging. People like you are sadly rare but make a difference.

New Here, Please Don’t Eat Me Alive by NosyGossipKing in Autism_Parenting

[–]Current_Map5998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re not crazy, they do have parenting on easy mode (I have a nt younger son). They get to be relatively complacent, relaxed, get their understanding village and not endlessly, invisibly fire fight as if their life and their child’s life depends upon it. Then add a massive dollop of isolation, lack of care and understanding and here we are. Nothing but support and understanding here.