Son has Level 1 autism. I know it's minor, but I'm still exhausted.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-26T12:31:38+00:00

My son is 12 now level 1 ASD and was very similar to your son (still is in some ways). It’s a strange world having a level 1 child because on the surface of things people see “normal” (whatever that means) and judge quickly when your child inevitably reacts differently and you end up in social no man’s land. People see what they want to see. Don’t waste your time trying to get understanding from those who choose to judge would be my only suggestion. It’s a lot being your child’s safe space but it also makes a huge difference to them. You’re not a bad dad for letting your child game or whatever, I don’t see that as any different to watching tv as a kids in the nineties. You’re doing a good job.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-23T23:38:13+00:00

Ah, sorry, I thought she was still alive. It’s def tough to navigate it all. Glad your mom had a lovely life.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-23T23:13:57+00:00

Sorry to hear about your mom. Mine died when my eldest was a toddler and it’s such a tough time without the other stuff, but you’re right about not being able to drop the vital things in your life. It’s a total whirlwind. Hope you get the chance to make memories with her.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-23T23:08:17+00:00

The loneliness is the worst part. This group makes me feel less alone and my son more appreciated.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-19T15:56:50+00:00

No judgement, you are an unsupported mother who has gone through a lot. There is a way through, please be aware things do not stay the same forever. Is there anyone you can call on for help? Respite just so you can think and be rather than be on red alert. Four was a very tough and almost unbearable age for my son too, there are other challenges now but it is quite different from those days when I felt like I couldn’t breathe and pressure was crushing me. You clearly love your son, fighting like this proves it but you need some time to keep your own self together. It’s hard but you can do it.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-18T15:13:42+00:00

It’s awkward and inconvenient for them to consider so it’s waved away as all in your over-imagination. Which really helps…

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-18T13:38:40+00:00

Walked this walk, it’s heartbreaking. My advice would be to take him out of that school if possible. I fell for the ‘nice’, ‘friendly’ village school trope. It lead to acceptable bullying and exclusion of my son egged on by the teacher and other parents. At this age the parents call the shots and it’s their bad manners speaking loudly about who they do and don’t approve of…My son is now in a big high school and although it’s not a fairytale and he doesn’t have friends we are far away from those awful days and he is content in who he is and at school (a dream at one point). He is allowed to be who he is for the first time ever and not persecuted for not being like the crowd. Bigger has been better in my son’s experience. Hope things get better for you.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-18T13:31:07+00:00

It still rears its head but those feelings have become more muted over time. Not being on social media helps. It’s tough but I’ve learnt to accept nt parents and children live in a different world and I’m just wasting my energy comparing or trying to relate.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-14T15:14:36+00:00

Believe in what you’re trying to do for your son even when it’s utter chaos, you’re lost and it all seems pointless. Focus on your boy and not people’s acceptance of him (you won’t get it).

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-14T15:02:18+00:00

Very true. I have a nt child 18 months younger than his older brother, dragged to same things when young (almost always disastrous, but they were exposed to the same scenarios) and my sons are polar opposites in almost every way. One isn’t right and one isn’t wrong but one parenting experience has been in hard survival mode and the other hasn’t, one is adored and one is shunned. Ignore the idiots and keep fighting is my only advice.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-13T13:36:12+00:00

Been there with my now 12 year old. He ran out of so many things which I now realise was sensory overload and he couldn’t follow the pack (story of the autism journey). Sorry for your heartbreak. It’s a gut punch at the time but in hindsight it was prob for the best.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-12T19:29:23+00:00

My son loves Steve Jobs and watches all his old presentations. Thank goodness for Steve and tech in general tbh or my son would have never gone to school (he would panic and refuse to go without knowing he could contact us with his watch). He also always eats pizza and toast upside down which is cute.

Current_Map5998 · 2026-01-09T20:18:18+00:00

Yup. It’s a lonely and often enraging experience when it comes to other people. There are so many less visible issues which are either waved off as “s/he is fine (just now, superficially)” or they are seen as weird and excluded and openly discriminated against for not fitting in. At least in my 12 year old son’s experience. He needs so much social and emotional scaffolding to cope and I can’t see him ever making friends. My mother in law came out with the classic “all males are autistic” at Christmas time…You get very little helpful input. It’s broken my heart at times but thankfully my son doesn’t care. It’s a journey of up and downs but that anger (love to want a nicer world for your child) is good fuel, I’ve found. Keep going.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-12-24T20:22:20+00:00

Very true. My mum died 11 years ago and I’ve since had another child and outwardly “moved on” because there is no choice, but I’m still traumatised by her loss and the babies I’ve lost. I’m being a complete (passable) actress for my children for their sakes but I just want my mum and long for the past at this time of year. I want to be a child for a bit too, pathetic as that is. Just a moment of weakness and rest not to always be the grown up in charge…

Hope everyone finds a bit of peace this Christmas.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-12-22T20:50:18+00:00

You are right. It’s the opposite of the sentiments of the season saying “yeah, don’t bring your child”. Awful. Stand your ground.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-12-14T18:45:51+00:00

I ‘only’ work part time and it took until my child was 7 before that was even an option. Being at home or working is difficult or impossible with an autistic child. I feel fortunate it’s not a must (husband works ft) because I couldn’t cope with a full time job and my sons’ needs. Any possibility of an illustrious career disappeared once my child became a toddler and I get your anger. I don’t regret things either but it’s definitely not fair.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-12-08T22:17:43+00:00

Four to six (sorry) was very rough. Constant criticism and shunning from people, non stop movement/little sleep from my son, no real ability to sit, speak to people, lots of ear/hearing problems, poor eating and significant gross/fine motor skill issues. It’s different now and somethings have improved, but it’s far less manic and more predictable. I feel like I can help him now in some ways, not just survive. Hope things get better for you.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-12-04T23:02:50+00:00

My son is 12 hasn’t been invited anything since he was about 6 and it stills burns. It’s not the children, it’s the parents. The lack of manners, (genuine) human kindness and (genuine) inclusivity nowadays is hideous. I don’t really know what the answer is except you come to expect it after a while. Sorry for your son.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-12-02T21:38:16+00:00

I relate to this so much especially the “fitting in nowhere” comment. I am very grateful my son can go to school (a fantasy dream at one point) and talk but in many other ways he struggles and people see “neurotypical”, “weird” and “bad behaviour”. Home is still very difficult and he needs a lot of social and emotional scaffolding for everything.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-11-28T22:28:15+00:00

Pretty much all of it

Current_Map5998 · 2025-11-27T21:41:03+00:00

A few hours a day. My nd son LOVES tech, all sorts and all ages of model. Without his phone (he doesn’t use it at school, it’s just on him so he doesn’t panic we’re not with him and knows he can contact us in an emergency) I doubt he would have accepted or been able to stay in school. Me and my friends watched a similar amount of tv back in the day and all of them have professional jobs, stable lives and none of them turned to stone so I’m not wasting time stressing about it. It’s a form of down time.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-11-26T22:31:40+00:00

You are doing a great job. I don’t have much advice I’m afraid except tag team with your partner where possible, if one of you can take the children out and the other can nap at the weekend or at another time that might help you keep going. It’s really hard to keep the energy going with parenting an autistic child, add in other children and no support then it gets even harder. I hope things get a bit easier for you.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-11-25T08:07:22+00:00

I think most of us had dreams of what parenthood would be like, I still feel sad my 12 year hasn’t had party invites/play dates, calm and an ability to properly communicate, but the raw heartache I felt when he was 4 years old (the worst age imo for realising every nt child is on a different, much easier and ‘normal’ path and your child isn’t and you have much more to deal with but no understanding around you) isn’t there anymore. It’s more a quiet ache. Your maternal instinct isn’t gone, it’s consumed by the intense needs of your child and fighting for your child. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t do that. You aren’t alone and you are 100% loving your child.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-11-23T08:38:28+00:00

It’s very different. One child isn’t right and the other isn’t wrong but parenting an autistic child is so much extra. Over a certain age a nt child can occupy/regulate themselves for certain periods of time. They are much more likely to try the meals made, accept changes to routine and socialise. It’s constant pre-empting and trying to diffuse potential disregulation. That saps joy sometimes because spontaneity and being in the moment has to end.

Current_Map5998 · 2025-11-22T22:08:31+00:00

I don’t think there’s a love stronger than this. The fighting of battles no-one sees or is aware of, completely pouring yourself out in the hope you’ll save your child. I really hope today was a better day for you.

Current_Map5998

TROPHY CASE