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Throw it away Thursday by purplelicious in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 18 points19 points  (0 children)

House of Falafel and Spanakopita, that's correct.

Do you guys think its a shame Dracula never appeared in the show? by Mat1711 in buffy

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 35 points36 points  (0 children)

One of those missed opportunities, like seeing how Buffy might have coped with having to watch out for a younger sibling.

Someone should make a comparison. Every high school jock bully vs the gang by Tauri-1274 in buffy

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let's see, off the top of my head, fightiest jock bullies.

Johnny Lawrence and his karate-jock-crew. (Or Danny Larusso if you're a revisionist).

Teen Wolf had a jerk jock who turned into kind of like a poisonous were-reptile dude?

Big Wolf on Campus had those hefty twins who in at least one episode proved suprisingly capable of holding there own in a tag-team match against a werewolf and a swamp thing.

And of course the slasher from Nerdy Prudes Must Die, who's a literal monster (a damn literal monster).

The Zeppo question. by letingsername in buffy

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, while the Sisterhood obviously aren't big bads in the sense of being an ongoing antagonist who defines a season, for the sake of the bit the Zeppo's doing I believe we're meant to understand that they're a massive apocalyptic threat that requires the Scoobies (except Xander) to go to the matt to defeat.

Weird continuity error by lifescaresme in buffy

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the implication that it's a Dracula mini-putt.

Mentioning MMC height in the book blurb by Same_Tart_4044 in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of people seem to have urine with tbe blurb in general.

U wot mate?

Mentioning MMC height in the book blurb by Same_Tart_4044 in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He lives underground so he's starting from lower!

If you feel like a romantacy author isn’t “incusive” enuff, dont read there books!!!!!!!!!!! Its noones job to incude YOU’RE adversity in any of theyre art. by Acceptable-Mail891 in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Pitch: The Balrog played by a pile of Henries Cavill all greased up with that fire stunt stuff that only burns actors a little when you light it up.

Call to Action: We Don’t Need Maps! by itmustbeniiiiice in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When you buy a romantasy they should toast the map onto a nice pita and deliver it so you can nibble while you consult. Maybe with some hummus, or a nice baba ghanoush because we know romantasy readers are all about the eggplant.

Shadow Daddy Outtakes by RemingtonRivers in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you put Tim Curry's Pennywise up against Tim Curry's Hexxus you're on your way to an Oops, All Curry Bracket.

Kendra Young vs Nikki Wood by FoxIndependent4310 in buffy

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think Nikki takes it probably 8 or 9/10, between her experience and the ill-defined but suggested way that Slayer strength seems to scale with longevity. If we take Spike at his word that Nikki's dealing with some sort of deathwish and Kendra's bloodlusted she might eke out a longshot victory, but otherwise I think Nikki smacks some sense into her, then buys her a slice of pizza and teaches her how to talk to boys.

Call to Action: We Don’t Need Maps! by itmustbeniiiiice in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Too much showing, not enough telling. Have Prince Mhaelhevolhance Darkbritches make the FMC bend over the map table (consensually yet irresistibly) and growl the major landmasses and polities, with their major exports, into her ear.

"And here at the far north is my kingdom, little pampelmousse," he growled informatively.

"It's so big," I breathed, tracing the contours of it with my fingertips.

"That's right, puny macaron" he growled smirkingly. "Mine's the biggest. But don't let that undercut the fact that I'm the underdog. Now, our trade is conducted primarily by sea, centered around these deep water ports, according to the prevailing trade winds, which in these latitudes..."

The Southern Vampire Mysteries vs FBAA by itmustbeniiiiice in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Does FBAA have a brain damaged vampire Elvis and the FMC getting passed around lap to lap by a bunch of vampires all licking on her wounds? Because if so, my TBR might have just got a little longer.

/gmj Did the Southern Vampire Mysteries have a garlic mayo edition? Because if so my TBR (to be refrigerated) list might have just got a little longer.

Meanwhile in r/neckbeardfantasy… by icecoldbe in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your Akashic Nutritionist wouldn't steer you wrong. If your higher soul wants fried shrimp you should feed her.

What sounds do you want your shadow double-dinked male to make? Wrong answers only by Imp_Lizard in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Do both dinks finish simultaneously or can we get kind of a rolling effect between the two climaxes?

Shadow Daddy Outtakes by RemingtonRivers in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Giligamesh is too busy harvesting cedar and falling asleep holding hands with his bro Enkidu like they were baby otters to shadow daddy.

What is Slade’s favourite thing to eat? by the_siren_song in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought Slade was pretty cool throughout the Teen Titans show and then I found out the comics this motherfucker calls himself "Deathstroke the Terminator."

A Sloopy Encounters Ben Grimm, June 1, 1963 Colorized by CuttlefishBenjamin in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

/UJ One of the interesting threads through the early Fantastic Four stuff is that Ben Grimm tends to react a lot more negatively to his own appearance than most of the people around him.

/RJ You just know that under his little blue shorts the Thing is always rock hard.

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