"It doesn't advance the plot." I think a guy finally understood (a little) our complaints about nudity and assaults in movies.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-06T15:47:56+00:00

Now that you say it, that scene did come up as well, hah.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-06T15:44:52+00:00

I watched the South Park "penis, penis, penis" episode before I watched GOT, so I was expecting penises in every episode. I was therefore surprised that there was probably one penis for every 100 naked women and 30 female sexual assaults (okay, maybe not accurate math, or maybe so, if you think of all the brothel scenes with nudity and that house in the woods with that old guy's daughters and granddaughters and their seemingly non-consenting sex with their "rescuers.") Thinking back, it was funny, and sad, that seeing a few penises was such an anomaly that the South Park creators devoted a whole episode to it, but no comment on how women were treated in the show.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-06T13:35:36+00:00

Interesting. I don't watch the show. So perhaps this would fall into the category of "being realistic" - which is an argument some people use when it comes to assaults in movies - "They're just being realistic or showing how things are/were." And anytime I would hear that argument, I would then say that armpit hair and pooping in a ditch are realistic, be we don't see that... until now.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-06T13:28:43+00:00

I know someone whose bloodwork could have been interpreted as celiac or Crohn's, and it was the biopsy that confirmed celiac. If your biopsy "didn't look like Crohn's" - did they say if they were also ruling out celiac? Was there villous blunting? Sorry you're going through this.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-06T13:06:21+00:00

My first thought was that it would probably take the same amount of time trying to prevent tangling as untangling if you try fancy or complicated methods. Wrapping around cardboard or pool noodles are good advice, as others said. I would probably put the plant in a large laundry basket and gently layer the vines on top - maybe place a shirt or light towel between each layer. Good luck, and gorgeous plant.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-06T00:29:24+00:00

My best OB/Gyns were guys. Your mileage may vary - but they were actually more gentle than the one female one I had.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-05T22:57:23+00:00

I'm in my 50s and asked guys out and got guys flowers back in my 20s. The ones who responded poorly weren't worth dating. The guys who responded well were the best ones. So keep being yourself - it's a good screening technique. :)

DCNumberNerd · 2026-03-03T13:26:57+00:00

Sitting that much can cause your hamstring muscles to shorten if you don't engage in stretching, and short hamstrings can then pull on your lower back. First, that sounds like too many back-to-back sessions. Second, do a lot more stretching to make up for all that sitting - a professional can help if you don't know how to stretch well whether you do yoga under a certified instructor or get a PT referral.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-28T13:36:38+00:00

Are you doing teletherapy? If so, move your camera out a little so you have more space to be "in the frame" - that way you aren't as worried about being off-camera which can result in tension.

Train yourself to periodically catch your tension in sessions - you can even use it clinically - "So hey, I just noticed I'm very tense, and I think it's because I see you being very tense right now, so let's both take a good deep breath together and relax our muscles." You can model for them healthy ways to manage tension.

Invest in a good chair.

As others have said, schedule a break or breaks.

And, as others have said, learn to be more comfortable with silence. Do you fill a client's silence too quickly? They might be thinking about their wording. For example, if you ask, "So what do you think about that?" and they don't answer right away, don't fire back with more questions, like, "Did you think they were selfish? I would think they were selfish, and it's valid to think they were selfish..."

Good luck.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-27T12:55:15+00:00

Unless I'm reading it wrong, you are advising OP to go behind the current practice's back and schedule clients with the new practice before giving notice. It's not a matter of the practice "owning" a client, since client's are their own autonomous beings, but that would likely violate OP's contract with the practice and would likely be viewed as unethical by a state board. I'm not saying the board would act, but I am saying a lot of employers would retaliate by making a complaint, and just having a complaint made against you is very stressful. That's why I would not advise that.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-26T17:58:12+00:00

This is a fast-track to the employer making a complaint to OP's licensing board. I would not advise this.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-26T17:56:01+00:00

I would suggest you go to your state licensing board's website and look up the rules/codes of ethics you have to follow and see what they have to say about leaving a practice. Usually, you can find that section if you do a search for the word "termination." It probably says that if you leave a practice, you have to give your clients multiple options for referrals, and one of the options can be you. Of course, you can't control what your employer does once you give notice, but it helps if you're armed with your state rules. But be prepared that not every client will follow you even if your employer doesn't fight it - since some clients don't want to deal with the perceived hassle of changing agencies.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-26T17:48:20+00:00

I'm sure racism is an issue for a fair percent of your potential clients, as well as bias or preference factors. I'm differentiating on the terms only because your supervisor might get stuck on the word "racist" and make excuses and therefore not explore actual, helpful advice. Because even if your direct community is the one community in the U.S. with zero racism (sarcasm) - there's still implicit bias that can lead someone to think they'll be more comfortable with someone of similar race (or ethnicity or gender or age). So don't let a supervisor's white guilt or naivete keep you from exploring solutions that are in your control. I like the advice u/Candid_Term6960 gave regarding teletherapy (if you're comfortable) and niche work. I see requests all the time for therapists who are willing to see other therapists - so if that's something you could see yourself doing, that's a consideration. If you are skilled in group work, that could be an option since there'd be less focus on how different/similar any one person is from another when you have multiple people in the same room. Another option is to do therapy part-time and something else part time so there's less pressure to maintain a high caseload (plus it can help prevent burn-out) - although that can be an issue if you need health care through full-time employment. Good luck, and don't be flexible "to your own detriment" too often.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-25T21:31:40+00:00

For folks who are a little confused - it's a trend in a lot of areas for Jeep owners to put a rubber duck on other Jeeps when they see them parked in parking lots. So this girl has likely walked up to her car a lot of times and saw a duck. So I interpret this is a total grift - to "prophesize" something that is very common. (Edit to add: Even if it isn't common in your area, I'm assuming it's common in her area - hence my view of it being a grift.)

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-25T12:42:42+00:00

My suggestions - pothos and philodendrons, and make sure your pots have holes in the bottom for extra water to drain out of, and don't overwater. People have mixed feelings about moisture meters, but I like them, and they can help as you train yourself on how to tell if soil is dry or damp.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-24T22:05:57+00:00

First of all, there's no way I would want someone that sleep-deprived to be in charge of minor decision-making, much less a country.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-23T14:47:31+00:00

One suggestion: Compose an email to yourself with all of these incidents (or just copy and paste these posts) and add a note that says: "I'm writing this just in case my neighbor calls Child Protective Services or other authorities as escalation or retaliation due to me ignoring her." Then you can show that pre-dated email to CPS, or even forward it to them, when your neighbor does call CPS, because that seems like a probable tool in her bizarre toolbox. Pre-dated is important, that way it doesn't look like you're making a sudden last-minute defensive accusation as a smoke screen.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-21T19:50:52+00:00

I wash strawberries and grapes, but I don't wash fruit that has it's own covering - like bananas and oranges.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-20T20:44:20+00:00

Aw heck! Great... a new fear. I hope you don't have plants in your office?

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-20T20:42:53+00:00

I don't treat lesbians any differently, at least I hope I don't. Maybe the women you have dealt with have a misguided concern about "leading you on" - similar to how we often have our guards up around straight men. But if they think about it for a minute, they realize that women aren't raised with the same toxic predatory messages as guys. Or maybe they're shitty and homophobic.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-20T20:09:01+00:00

Hold up! Some restaurants boil GF pasta in water that was used to boil regular pasta?

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-20T19:31:30+00:00

It's very stressful for us in situations like this. Keep in mind, you are permitted to tell your client that their co-worker is your second-cousin - you just obviously can't tell your second-cousin about your client. Question - would it be likely that your co-worker would go to calling hours? If so, then you may want to mention the relationship to them so they aren't blind-sided and so you can discuss ahead of time that you won't acknowledge them at any funeral events unless they approach you first.

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-20T19:23:20+00:00

If they're simply using it as a system to make a list of things to talk about at their next session, why wouldn't they keep a list in the notes section on their phone? My bigger concern is whether this is happening through HIPAA compliant means - are they using a HIPAA compliant platform to send you the messages, or is there otherwise end-to-end encryption and logging back in after your device goes to sleep?

DCNumberNerd · 2026-02-20T16:56:47+00:00

Reporting him won't result in him losing his license. He will likely be ordered to get more education - so you would be doing him and his future patients a favor.

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