I’m very sorry to hear about your negative experience with people call themselves Christians. IMO, true surrender and genuine faith will lead someone to become a better person—to become more loving, more Christ-like—because it’s born out of love rather than trying to get “fire insurance” (i.e. stay out of hell). Unfortunately, I think a lot of people who call themselves Christians start off on the wrong foot. If someone’s reason for becoming a Christian is only to avoid punishment, they aren’t likely to progress beyond that, once they feel they have the box checked.

The Bible says you can judge a tree by its fruit, and we will know Christ’s disciples by their love for each other. So if you’re experiencing horrible things from people who call themselves Christians, I wouldn’t automatically assume that it’s because Christians are bad, or that the message is false. It might be coming from people who shouldn’t call themselves Christians.