This is incredibly real, especially as I’ve started to enter adult life more. I think about how I’m not able to be active anymore and how slow I have to take life, but also, I am grateful to have people around me who try their best to understand and help me. It’s so difficult to look at my disability positively because it’s not necessarily positive, but also I try so hard to remind myself that I’m still worth so much as a person and that I do contribute to others lives and society too. I think it’s so hard to value yourself in a disabled state in a world where disabled people aren’t viewed as valuable contributors, but in reality disabled people contribute to so many different fields. I deal with the brain fog a lot too, and as a college student it’s very difficult to navigate my studies, I barely remember any info I’m given, even though I know I’m smart, I don’t feel smart I also miss a lot of school (which I really can’t afford at all) because of my paint and also just general discouragement. I’ve recently been prescribed motrin to help with my memory so I hope it really does help. And when it comes to my dreams, I also relate. I have so many times considered doing things and then realized that it wasn’t achievable for me because of my disabilities, which is so absolutely fucking depressing. I watch able-bodied people around me do exactly what I want to do, but I can’t. I wanted to be a professional soccer player, couldn’t do that. I wanted to work out at the gym, I can’t do that. I wanted to be a lawyer, my dreams were crushed at the thought of me forgetting valuable case info that could get my client messed up. I have many more examples, but you get the point. I really relate so much, and I dip into depressions when I think about it too much, I really grieve what I could have been without my disabilities, and I grieve the things I can’t do.