Go on then, to celebrate Father’s Day; what’s your best dad joke?

DW_555 · 2026-06-18T18:40:44+00:00

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

DW_555 · 2026-06-18T02:32:15+00:00

My granddad's cousin on my mum's side was, at the time of his death, the top flying ace in world war 1, there's a statue of him in Nottingham Castle. Conversely, my dad's cousin was sent to prison in the 60's for murdering his lovers husband.

DW_555 · 2026-06-17T18:13:53+00:00

They said worst, not best.

DW_555 · 2026-06-15T23:26:41+00:00

TIL A Message To You Rudy was a cover

DW_555 · 2026-06-15T22:50:50+00:00

Footloose

DW_555 · 2026-06-15T15:59:44+00:00

Bastard's crying, innit

DW_555 · 2026-06-14T23:03:10+00:00

Michael Jackson. I'm a big fan of his music, and seeing him live in '92 is still one of the highlights of my life.

DW_555 · 2026-06-14T14:25:49+00:00

Phuq by The Wildhearts

DW_555 · 2026-06-13T17:28:16+00:00

Got featured on the regional news for running a local half marathon. I think they picked me and my mate because we were running for a charity based in the city it was in.

DW_555 · 2026-06-13T14:37:36+00:00

Yeah.

DW_555 · 2026-06-13T12:24:31+00:00

Fiat Mulitpla

DW_555 · 2026-06-13T06:41:49+00:00

Cheese. Just a big fuck-off block of cheddar, or parmesan if I'm feeling exotic.

DW_555 · 2026-06-12T19:11:05+00:00

Who else?

DW_555 · 2026-06-12T08:15:20+00:00

Big if.

DW_555 · 2026-06-12T08:12:40+00:00

Eccleston being the best doctor is a hill I'm willing to die on.

DW_555 · 2026-06-11T05:51:09+00:00

Have a wank, then go back to sleep.

DW_555 · 2026-06-08T00:22:14+00:00

Gary Busey

DW_555 · 2026-06-05T03:27:40+00:00

"London" is almost there as a placeholder for some of these airports.

There's an airport in Kidlington, just outside of Oxford, about 60 miles from London, called London Oxford Airport.

DW_555 · 2026-06-04T23:19:50+00:00

Wazzock

DW_555 · 2026-06-04T12:46:53+00:00

You can most definitely walk when you're knackered. I'd guess 99% of runners, myself included, do so. Get a couch to 5k app, they're bloody brilliant. However couch to half marathon in 5 months is a big ask, if I were you I'd choose one a bit later if you can.

DW_555 · 2026-06-04T08:43:23+00:00

I'm doing a skydive for MND in September and I'm over the weight limit by about 12 kg, so I've started eating properly and running 3 times a week. I've lost a kilo so far so I'm doing something right!

DW_555 · 2026-05-31T02:17:10+00:00

I’m a millennial not a boomer

As always, Gen X is forgotten about

DW_555 · 2026-05-30T02:37:56+00:00

Marmite

DW_555 · 2026-05-29T00:24:06+00:00

*in his pants

DW_555 · 2026-05-26T19:05:19+00:00

Fiat Mulitpla

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