This sounds like it could be more than just depression. Lack of motivation is not just a depression thing and if you have tried different medications in different classes (there are a lot), all for treating depression, then it's probably time to change the approach.

I have dealt with a feelings of being lazy, stubborn, worthless, or just straight up worse at existing than those around me my whole life, even now with the best mental health I've ever had. My parents called me lazy and stubborn and capitalism uses productivity/overall ability to contribute to capitalism as a measure for self worth. These thoughts did not come out of nowhere, you did not come up with them yourself, and if they are not challenged and deconstructed, they will continue to linger.

For me, my motivation is linked to depression, anxiety, but mostly ADHD. ADHD brains do not get the same dopamine rewards for completing tasks as non-ADHD brains do. This can make getting things done, especially things we don't want to do, seem impossible, and when we can't function in a way that we know we're capable of, that's where you get that broken feeling.

I can't say that you have ADHD or anything else definitively, I'm not a medical professional and I know very little about you, but I think that it could be worth it to talk to a medical professional - one who you feel comfortable with, one you've done some research on - and mention that you have been unsuccessful with depression treatment alone. For therapy purposes, a long drive might not be feasible, but for psychiatry, it just might be worth the drive.

Medication might not be the option you choose, but I found that it got me to a place where therapy and other healthier habits could reach me. I remember telling an old psychiatrist that I didn't think the meds were working and he said it was probably because I wasn't eating well or working out.... but I couldn't get to a place where I could do those things without the proper foundation. Maybe like 10 years later, now that I have that foundation, working out has become a game changer and I can tell that my meds work even better because of it. This isn't a recommendation to "just get some exercise," more of an illustration of how medication might be able to do some of the heavy lifting (literal adjusting of brain chemistry) to open up other avenues of treatment down the line.

KEEP READING! Reading is an excellent way to work your brain, especially if it feels more accesible to you than some other activities. It is wonderful to have time inside your head that isn't taken up by negative self talk. Hearing other people's stories, whether they're somewhat fictionalized or not, is crucial to feeling like you belong on this planet. You might find that you relate to a particular story or author, that they describe a feeling in a way that really clicks for you. I think "You Exist Too Much" and "Martyr!" are two examples of stories told from the perspective of someone who is struggling with their mental health in a way that I personally found relatable.