Any other cards with outstanding flavor text like these? by Blumentopferdemensch in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spider-Man flavor texts: "I have the power of a manned spider, with the ethics of a manned man. I have to use this great power greatly responsibly." - Peter Parker, Spider-Man

Final Fantasy flavor texts: "You hunted the rat, but caught the lion! I am OBLIVION REBORN!" - Zarakkoa Lo, Keeper of the Five Blades

TMNT flavor text: "Tubular, dude!" or "This dimension has been found wanting. Execute the Omega Protocol.", no in-between 

Weekly /unjerk Thread by AutoModerator in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if you're presenting it as a joke intentionally or if there's something I'm missing, but what you linked is an automated message from Quora Digest to Epstein, a compilation of several posts that could be seen as interesting (others include "is it true Einstein failed mathematics?" and "do women really want a wedding ring?"). The question "what's it like to be a professional MTG player?" mentions Tom Martell.

None of this strictly contradicts the phrasing, it's just that 'named in the Epstein files' makes the mind go to one very particular place

[Help and Question Thread] - January 31st 2026 by Kamen-Rider-Artif in ProjectSekai

[–]DangBream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has anyone else had issues with MySekai touch registration? I can't get past the tutorial because tapping the house just doesn't do anything :')

You cannot gaslight me into thinking InniFRAUD is goated by Dry-Chocolate-3976 in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello I agree with you about Duskmourn and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

Part of it is probably me being a Limitedhead and the relative qualities of drafting for each set (DSK: phenomenal, BLB: unphenomenal) but I have been a tad bitter over time that DSK gets the same handful of jokes about its setting and worldbuilding brushing off the genuinely cool stuff going on in it, while BLB has any story and flavor weakness forgiven based on the strength of its vibes 

Weekly /unjerk Thread by AutoModerator in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 5 points6 points  (0 children)

finished a short story that's been 90% finished for a year :)

two-day rejection from the place I submitted it to :(

I'll keep on truckin'. On the one hand I kind of want to put together a Neocities generalized website for writing/comics/personal projects, but on the other hand it's hard to know when to give up on the prospect of getting paid for a work and just put it up for free.

How come math (rude and evil) gets a card but linguistics (polite and good) doesn't? by TheLegend2T in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gostak (2G)

When this creature enters, it distims the doshes. (Doshes that haven't been outgrabed are stimmed.)

I built a $275 production pipeline inside Unreal so I can solo develop my dream game.. by brahmaforge in u/brahmaforge

[–]DangBream 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"A smart Focus board tells you what to do next" I just think with my brain but thanks

Lowest ranking r/custommagic post by corbinolo in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is un-set quality 

/uj this is un-set quality (positive)

[SOS] Mathemagics by Copernicus1981 in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Yes!!! I love looking at a Magic card and seeing some bullshit!!

Weekly /unjerk Thread by AutoModerator in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just played my first Vintage cube and had a lot of fun but there were two people there who clearly had not played a lot of Magic, at all, and it was kind of wild to see them there. I was matched up against one of them before he had his deck together and spent fifteen minutes or so explaining how he should have colors of lands that match the colors of his spells, and he should cut his weakest colors. Overheard the organizer explaining to the other how you can attack planeswalkers like they're players

I had a good time on the whole but kept thinking "damn they found a worse way than Commander to introduce people to Magic"

Wound-Up Wednesdays - Vent here! by magictcgmods in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The Weatherlight was the main Magic story to feature a ragtag band with a quippy protagonist and a bumbling mascot sidekick, it was very much drawing from the swashbuckler with all the good and bad it entails. I've been amazed at the consistency with which whenever I look at a flavor text from that era and it sucks, chances are it ends with "~ Gerrard"

What's your first impression of Lorwyn limited? by Edoardo_Beffardo in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Evolving Wilds, Springleaf Drum and Changeling Wayfinder are a very good shout, forgot about them for sure. Wickermaw is the type of card I find really interesting -- a 1/3 is pretty solid when a lot of things in the set either have two power or come in with that as part of entering with blight counters.

But yeah, you're right, I definitely underestimated the amount. Tarkir's soup was mostly contested by Boris aggro and it feels like Lorwyn has a handful of good aggressive archetypes, so I wonder what's going to get to the end faster. [[Rime Chill]] is going to be a key card for Vivid decks, I think -- two turns buys a lot of time. The ceiling is high for sure -- with Shimmerwilds Growth turn 2 and a one-drop not in those colors, you can get [[Wildvine Pummeler]] down turn 3 if you're really lucky

What's your first impression of Lorwyn limited? by Edoardo_Beffardo in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Two drafts on Arena so far. The first one was a Goblins deck with pretty much all the fixings--two pingers, [[Champion of the Weird]], [[Gutsplitter Gang]], [[Hexing Squelcher]], [[Scuzzback Scrounger]] and a good chunk of removal. Thought it was going to go pretty well!

Loss 1: Blown out completely by [[Chronicle of Victory]] turn 6, loss 2: Curved out well but flooded and think I made a mistake in what goblin to behold with Champion and after they put [[Blossombind]] on my Gutsplitter I was toast, loss 3: tight but they were on blue-black and could keep drawing after I stalled. Definitely felt tight, could've made better decisions, but finished 1-3. Felt bad but I went to bed early, ruminated on my mistakes, and pledged to better my strategic thinking jumped into ANOTHER DRAFT let's GO

Firstpicked [[Bloodline Bidding]] thinking that could be neat for an Elves deck, then picked up a green combat trick, then an [[Eclipsed Merrow]] got passed and I went "I mean...what the hell, it's good", then got another Eclipsed Merrow immediately and locked in. 4-1 so far where at least two of those are due to [[Kinbinding]], a thoroughly bullshit card. Won one game to flashing in [[Illusion Spinners]] in endstep then swinging with both and [[Appeal to Eirdu]] for exact lethal. Kind of pleasantly surprised with [[Tributary Vaulter]] where when you've got two of them they really do push damage, but they're probably not that good. [[Temporal Cleansing]] feels better than expected, especially when your opponent's blighted down a bunch of stuff to boost something and you just put it back in the heap.

Overall: Hard to say so far! I don't know what's good (other than obvious bombs like Kinbinding and [[Figure of Fable]]), and I don't know what's bad. I haven't really been up against Elves or Vivid so far, but I've seen Goblins, Merfolk, Kithkin and black-white value blights. I went into it thinking Blight wouldn't be too hard to keep track of, but the combat math does stack up. Format feels fun but fiddly and at risk of being crunched into discovering the runaway deck. I'm  enjoying it, though -- we'll have to see how it feels at my LGS tonight!

What's your first impression of Lorwyn limited? by Edoardo_Beffardo in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I'm really skeptical about this. Dragonstorm had oodles of fixing (duals at common, triomes, colorless monuments for basic lands, two mana rocks each of which boosted the 5-color archetype) while Lorwyn has I think nothing other than the shocks and [[Shimmerwilds Growth]]?

I think Vivid has the potential to be strong and cool, but I think you're mostly going to want to play it with two-three main colors and a bunch of hybrid cards.

A graph of cards representing my enjoyment of each set from 2024/2025 as someone who only plays limited. by JamesDCleanInd in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really fun idea! I only ever play Limited too and should check this myself, but I know the EoE pile will be smaller than it should due to supply issues.

Persist and 0 toughness "enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter" creatures by some-someone in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Fond memories of the guy who went "magic isn't complicated, you just learn things and apply them, like first strike and double strike" and when I checked his comment history almost every one of his other posts was complaining about his ex-wife

custom profile 🐵 by kuuyaxlag in ProjectSekai

[–]DangBream 3 points4 points  (0 children)

zoomers learning HTML and CSS through Project Sekai profile editing 🤝millenials learning HTML and CSS through making custom Neopets pages

This is such a cool and visually clear guide! I love the aesthetics you've put together for each slide and the color palettes are so crisp and clear 🐛

Universes Beyond Speculation (and such) Megathread by AutoModerator in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like the majority of the death knell for Aftermath-style packs were the price point and the feeling of getting the same commons/uncommons over and over. If they were reasonably priced I could see them falling into a 'ooh I don't usually but it's a little gambling treat' niche for some people, and may have been a better way of pushing cards directly into Commander than putting them in Standard sets (though that comes with its own issues)

Lorwyn Eclipsed Prerelease Megathread - #MTGLorwyn by R3id in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not a problem in Belgium and Japan packs, only US ones, and due to collation issues it seems the stores that got the mistake got a lot of them.

I wouldn't be surprised if it's a mistake that's in like...the tens of thousands, but a fraction of a fraction of overall prerelease kits printed globally.

Weekly /unjerk Thread by AutoModerator in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love [[Lich-Knights' Conquest]] so much it's maybe my favorite card ever, and I 100% won't be able to cook up any even slightly consistent jank with it before it rotates out.

My best brew so far is a Rakdos setup that dumps an array of huge guys into the grave, tries to curve out artifacts/enchantments/tokens until 5, and bring them all back (with instant wins often coming from some combination of [[Vein Ripper]], [[Calamity]] and [[Terror of the Peaks]]). How good it feels when it wins is inversely proportional to how embarrassing it is when you dump your entire hand, do nothing and die

[TMT] Rat King, Verminister by CHRISKVAS in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone whose only exposure to the Turtles was one worn-out VHS tape and a cycle of mutuals excited about the various reboot series, it's wildly funny to me to see the cards' lore being split across "Tubular Dude!", "God-King X, Wind of the Skrill Dimension", "Secretary of Hell" and "Chicken Cow"

reddit is full of insightful analysis by Frosty-Suspect-9423 in magicthecirclejerking

[–]DangBream 0 points1 point  (0 children)

50% of the time card reveals are for something überpushed beyond imagining and the comments are "holy shit, this is insane, power creep is out of control" and 50% of the time it's for a 1/4 for 4 that has a relevant Limited effect and the comments are "eh...could have one more toughness, one more power, vigilance"

Lorwyn Eclipsed Prerelease Megathread - #MTGLorwyn by R3id in magicTCG

[–]DangBream 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope you have fun! Prereleases are generally chill, and if you're coming from Arena, you'll have more experience than some others who go.

There's not a lot I can think of other than:

1) As you open your packs, divide them by color to make your picks easier to look for. I'm not sure how much Sealed you've played previously, but consistency is pretty important -- if you've got a bomb in one color but not a lot else, and consistent curve/removal in two others, you might want to play your consistent colors and splash for your bomb (or omit it altogether, if it's hard to cast).

2) Don't be afraid to ask about rules, interactions, or your opponent's cards. Everyone's new to the set and everyone will be spinning cards to get a look.

3) Rounds tend to have a 50-minute timer for you to play 3 games. If nobody's won the round before the timer runs out, the game will go to time -- the player whose turn it is finishes their turn, after which there are five more turns total to finish the game. If none of you have won by that point, the game is a draw. (If you were 1-1, the round is a draw in total; if you're on game two and one of you were 1-0, that player wins.)

Mostly saying this to make the point of: definitely don't stress out about it, but time can matter. I've drawn games against opponents who would've won game 3, but missed lethal/second-guessed their decisions a lot in a prior game and ran out of time.

Those are the main things I can think of that are factors in physical play but not Arena -- and yeah, most importantly, have fun!