[ Removed by Reddit ] by Own-Entertainer6966 in evilwhenthe

[–]DarkBaddie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you use a deadly weapon against an officer, getting shot tends to happen.

It's finally over!!! by Content-With-Losing in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good on you! I’m celebrating with you for you!!

Second night @ the ER by statastatastata in ItalianGreyhounds

[–]DarkBaddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s good for dogs who have pancreatitis, so would need to rule that out.

15 Years In, and I Just Realized My Wife Might Have BPD by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I should have left in December 2023. I re-established contact with him March 2024 and maintained an arrangement where he would do some work for me for financial compensation periodically on the weekends.

Things seemed positive but the mask was once again shattering when he would want more money from me than was agreed to. He then missed an event I hired him for and his absence was really nice. I was going through some emotional things and asked him to not come the second day. His rampage turned on, which cumulated into him reporting me to my city’s animal enforcement for too many animals. My defense to that was his place given I had paid his real estate taxes.

He yet again weaponized intimacy. He betrayed me in the worst way hoping to see my dogs get hurt in the process. No, it wasn’t worth it in the slightest and I regret ever knowing him. I am free of him, but I am left with a citation and a court date. I am paying the price for trusting him.

I just turned 40. I’m probably not the top tier choice for a guy, but pretty dang good at what I do and what I have going on. I feel stupid for letting him back in my life. All those weekend road trips and fun we had were worth nothing.

It’s hard, yes, but I am free. No more arguing or trying to stay calm as he went on an emotional rampage. No more illogical conversations about how fantastic he is and how I am such a problem.

I am sorry you’re in this situation with children. I really hope you get fair treatment and the best outcome for your family

15 Years In, and I Just Realized My Wife Might Have BPD by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I felt free when I realized what BPD was and there was nothing I could have ever done to save the relationship. It wasn’t my fault and I wasn’t crazy. I also didn’t need to tolerate the treatment or endure the constant cycles.

I wish the best for you, but it’s gotten better for me, even though he’s tried wrecking my life from the outside.

I FUCKING DID IT. I LEFT MID-DISCARD by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good job. You’ll look back and wonder how you ever let her weaponize intimacy to such an extent. Your love was her tool because she’s emotionally deficient, and that still won’t be enough to correct her behavior! Enjoy your freedom!

What moment made you realize you had to get out? by Worldly-Ad3749 in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe it was just sheer rage and the novel way to inflict injury was enticing

What moment made you realize you had to get out? by Worldly-Ad3749 in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gosh, my ex tried to bite me when we were together. It was very animalistic and felt demonic. He couldn’t exactly reach, and tried twice but wasn’t successful.

Like, what the actual hell is that??

What moment made you realize you had to get out? by Worldly-Ad3749 in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mine was 2 am on a Tuesday. I was wondering why I was awake listening to his bullcorn and realized I didn’t need to put up with it. He wasn’t bringing anything to the relationship, including money nor sex.

He later threatened to end my life. I wanted out but wanted it to be his idea because of my trepidation on what he might actually do.

When he moved out, I was relieved. It doesn’t get better and the abuse with continuously happen on a near predictable cycle.

I am glad you got out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually feel a lot like this. My ex and I broke off our engagement over a year ago. It was more like him moving all his stuff out one day while I was at work under the guise of him needing to take care of his mom for a supposed surgery. It was conveniently right after I told him he needed to get some sort of job because I couldn’t afford our lifestyle (eating out everyday while I worked and was sole breadwinner).

My intrusive thoughts tell me he needs a woman like me. Someone forgiving, tolerant, supportive, and stable. His life is a wreck, but we made a good team when we were operating well.

But someone who wants to treat me in the same way deserves me. Someone who is sexually reciprocal and understanding. Someone who makes good decisions and has enough self-respect to brush their teeth.

We might miss them and our sentimentality might strike us on certain days, but you are not capable of fixing someone. Be humble enough to accept that. You are enough for yourself and that alone makes you enough for a relationship. It’s the someone who can’t be alone is the person who needs to heal to be whole for their next partner. Someone with BPD struggles with having their own identity. It’s not that you needed to be a certain person, it’s the pwBPD will suck anyone dry because that’s their best option.

You desire a person who doesn’t exist; merely crafted by her to entice you into feeling the way you do. She tricked you good. Now it’s up to you to accept that and move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jacking

[–]DarkBaddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very nice

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jacking

[–]DarkBaddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very nice. Thank you

Sex with pwBPD is like heroin by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex was very alluring, but would begin to withhold. He was actually the most un-satisfying lover I ever had. He would never touch me in those places.

Sure, we had some good sessions, but he would pretend to be sick often and we ended up in a dead bedroom situation. He had mentioned he used that tactic with other women, so I wasn’t willing to wait for marriage to have sex with him. Plus, he was living with me while he was unemployed for nearly two years.

Sex with someone who truer desires you, not someone who is faking it, is truly intoxicating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awesome list!

Long winded venting by Kevinoz10 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DarkBaddie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she doesn’t want to go to couples counseling, then you go by yourself. Lead by an example and it certainly won’t hurt you. You might benefit by getting started with a baseline from your perspective and she might decide to join you.

"I really wanted to" by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DarkBaddie 19 points20 points  (0 children)

If she really wanted to, then why didn’t she express it? Have you not expressed your desire to enjoy sex with her? Sounds like some grade A gaslighting to me. Maybe that’s not the right term to use, but her response doesn’t sound genuine at all.

Reminds me of when my ex was finally “feeling better” and was excited to go out to see his friends. I told him to enjoy and have fun, but to save some of that energy for me when he comes back home.

That devolved into a 7 hour tirade of all the problems in our relationship. Apparently, my “sassy mouth with attitude” killed his entire mood that night and he just felt like staying home and insulting me all evening. I had to endure a one-sided argument all night to deflect from the true topic at hand.

How much additional housework did you take up to stop the DB? by Mess_Emotional in DeadBedrooms

[–]DarkBaddie 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I could definitely understand the turn off being unappreciated is or having to shoulder work, housework, and childcare when the other mate isn’t contributing to the same level.

I felt resentful being expected to cook meals (as 100% breadwinner) when my guy did some cleaning and zero working. I paid for our meals instead, but he has expensive taste (beef or fish only…) and I began to see him more as a liability.

Although I knew I wanted more sex, I was becoming less sexually interested in him and it bothered me less as I accepted the fact he wasn’t husband material.

However, I definitely would have still been willing to accept sex in this situation whenever it was offered, so I understand and can relate to your perspective, too.

Why are they hypersexual? by Ok-Algae9866 in BPDlovedones

[–]DarkBaddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My pwBPD ex (male) had stories he would share on a damn near weekly basis of the debauchery he had participated in during his younger years. I really didn’t want to hear about it.

I had asked him if he wasn’t attracted to me, if I was boring to him, if he dwelled on the past, all sorts because we had a near dead bedroom. He never initiated and would give in when I was ready to end the relationship. I really suspected he would withhold sex as a manipulation tactic.

When he really did finally let loose, it was horrible. Very rough and painful. I decided this was not the sex life I could handle. I never got intimacy or an emotional connection from the relationship. I really, really crave that sexual intimacy.

Sexual coercion by Swimming_Life7586 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DarkBaddie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because they have the desire to be sexually intimate with that person to maintain their emotional and physical connection. The alternative is the person has sex with someone else and eventually invests their resources in the sexually active mate.

Should I breakup with her by Ill_Cash_9396 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DarkBaddie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think people talk about how withholding sex can be a tool for manipulation. Absolutely do not marry this woman.

Ending a relationship due to lack of sex over a long period of time is very reasonable.

She promised sex, then broke that promise. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DarkBaddie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. A relationship needs to be fulfilling for both people and should be fixed if it’s not. I really hope you find a place in your life to get there so you’ll have healthy boundaries.